Supporting an autistic child

Understanding autistic children

Autistic children behave in ways that help them manage or respond to the world around them.

They may find some behaviours calming and enjoyable, such as repetitive movements (stimming).

But they may need more help to them manage losing control of their behaviour (meltdowns), physical aggression or hurting themselves. This can happen if they feel very overwhelmed or upset.

To help support an autistic child:

• do not try to change how they behave, unless it’s harmful to them or others
• make their surroundings as comfortable for them as possible, for example by managing levels of light and noise
• keep to routines they’re familiar with and let them know about changes as soon as you can
• help them learn ways to cope with unexpected changes by introducing change slowly and in a safe and familiar place
• plan ahead with them to avoid things that might cause them distress (triggers)

Some autistic children can become very exhausted from trying to cope with daily life.

This is called autistic fatigue or burnout. Make sure children have space and time to rest and relax.

Looking after your child’s health and wellbeing

Some autistic children will need extra support to stay healthy and well.

You may need to support your child to:

• eat healthily
• wash themselves and brush their teeth
• get enough sleep
• manage any other conditions such as ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, learning disabilities and epilepsy
• manage their mental health, if they're feeling very worried (anxious) or low (depressed) a lot of the time
• cope with going to health appointments, such as with a doctor, dentist or optician

Going to school

Many autistic children can go to mainstream schools with the right support. Some may need to go to a specialist school or be home-schooled.

To support your child, you can:

• find out what special educational needs (SEN) support is available at their school – every school should have a SEN policy
• let their school know about the support they need, for example access to a quiet area, more time to do some activities or help communicating with teachers and pupils
• think about how you or the school can help them cope with some of the challenges they might face, such as lunch and break times, or travelling to school
• be aware that their behaviour at school and home may be different and they may need time to settle when they return from school or college
• find out if your child can get an education, health and care plan (EHCP) from your local council, for example if your child needs to go to specialist school

Socialising and daily life

An autistic child may need help with daily social skills and activities, such as:

• communicating with other people
• making friends and socialising
• leisure activities and going out, for example doing sports or hobbies, using public transport or going on holiday

You can support your child by trying to understand the things they find difficult and learning ways to manage them. You can also support them with the things they enjoy doing.

Start slowly and try not to force them into activities they're uncomfortable with.

Get practical support for your child

The support available to your child will depend on where you live.

If your child needs it, you can ask your GP or local autism team about:

• courses that may be available to support your child, such as help with daily living skills
• how they can get mental health support, speech and language therapy or occupational therapy

It can also help to find out:

• what support your local council provides for children with special educational needs (this is called the local offer)
• what support or financial benefits you might be able to get – you can ask your council for a carer's assessment 
• about local groups where you can get support from other families
• if there is support available for other members of the family, such as parents, carers and siblings

Your child should be offered a follow-up assessment when they are 14 years old, to check what support they still need.