Handling reactions to facial disfigurement
Learning how to be confident and handle people's reactions can help people with disfigurements get more out of social interactions.
Using positive body language and having a set of responses ready to use if people stare at you can be helpful.
Body language tips
Think about what your body language is saying. Carrying yourself with confidence can help you feel more comfortable and encourage positive interactions with others.
Examples of confident body language:
- maintaining eye contact with someone
- speaking in a confident tone
- using your face and hands to express yourself
- standing tall
- keeping your shoulders down
Dealing with staring
If people ask you about your appearance, they aren't necessarily being hostile.
Many people are only curious or even concerned – you might have experienced these feelings yourself when encountering someone who has a visible mark, scar or condition.
If someone stares and you want them to stop, try looking back, smiling and holding their gaze for a moment. Many people will smile back at you and look away.
If the staring continues, look back and hold the person's gaze, while raising your eyebrows to show them that you've noticed they're staring.
If you decide to say something, you could use a number of different approaches:
- "Hello." This lets them know you have noticed them looking at you.
- "I would prefer it if you didn't stare at me." A firm yet straightforward response.
- "My appearance seems to be bothering you. It doesn't bother me." Confident, firm and clearly labelling the person staring as the one with the problem.
- "Your admiring glances are beginning to embarrass me!" The confident and humorous approach.
- "We've clearly met before – you can't seem to take your eyes off me." Humorous, but making the point that their behaviour is intrusive and inappropriate.
A quick and effective reply is more likely to end the interaction than saying something that could start a discussion, or even an argument.
Media last reviewed: 29/11/2017
Media review due: 29/11/2020
Page last reviewed: 30/04/2017
Next review due: 30/04/2020