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Dealing with loneliness

Loneliness can affect us all, at any time of our lives. We might live in a busy city or a rural location, on our own or with others and still feel isolated.

Understanding our own reasons for feeling lonely and how to manage it can make a big difference to our mental wellbeing. And although it can be difficult to talk about, sharing our feelings of loneliness can encourage others to talk too.

Find out about possible signs of loneliness, reasons we feel lonely and ways to manage it. There's also links to more support if you or someone else needs it.

What is loneliness?

Everyone's experiences of loneliness are different – it’s very subjective and personal to us.

You should not blame yourself for feeling lonely now or at any other time, and it's also really important to remember that loneliness and difficult feelings can pass.

Some ways loneliness can be experienced are:

  • emotional loneliness – a lack of emotional attachment to someone like a close friend or partner
  • social loneliness – a lack of friends to go out with or who share our hobbies or interests
  • existential loneliness – a sense of being in a room of people you know and still feeling alone

Some people experience loneliness occasionally, perhaps only at certain times, like Sundays or Christmas, while others feel lonely all the time, which is sometimes called chronic loneliness.

Signs or symptoms of loneliness

We often talk about feelings of loneliness, such as feeling isolated or not feeling connected, but we can also have physical symptoms of loneliness and it can also affect our behaviour.

For instance, you may:

  • get nervous about or avoid going to social events
  • change your daily routines, like stop cooking for yourself, caring about your appearance or getting up early
  • find it difficult to get to sleep or stay asleep

Loneliness and our health

If loneliness is very severe or lasts a long time, it might increase the risk of some physical conditions such as dementia and mental health conditions such as stress, anxiety, low mood or depression.

What causes loneliness?

There can be many reasons for our loneliness – and sometimes there is no obvious cause and it’s just how we feel.

However, things that happen to us in life, like losing a loved one, perhaps through a bereavement or break-up, can make us feel lonely.

Other life changes, especially those that take us away from home or those that may cause us to be more socially isolated, can also make us lonely, including:

  • leaving to go to university
  • having to stay home to look after a newborn baby
  • a long-term health condition that results in either long stays in hospital or being unable to leave home
  • becoming a full-time carer for someone we live with

Find out more about what can make us feel lonely and what support is available for dealing with life's challenges.

Dealing with life’s challenges

Tips on dealing with loneliness

Here is some practical advice on ways to cope with loneliness for you or someone you are helping to lift out of loneliness.

1. Keep in touch with people

Regular chats with friends and family can help to combat loneliness. Just talking to someone in that moment can really help when you feel alone – and help the person you contact.

Try to do this regularly, as most of us love hearing from others, plus being more sociable might make it easier to reach out when you notice any signs of loneliness.

Messaging old friends and colleagues or creating a group chat on apps like WhatsApp or Messenger are good ways to feel more connected.

2. Join a group

Being part of a group or club is a great way to connect with and meet people.

Look for groups to join in person or online that focus on things you like or activities you would like to try.

If you're in a group, remember to always welcome others and involve them, as it can really help anyone who might be shy or lack confidence when meeting new people.

3. Do things you enjoy

Filling your time doing things you like might be a way to stop you from focusing on your loneliness, which can improve your wellbeing.

Spending time outdoors in green spaces, exercise or sport, reading, and listening to podcasts and radio shows are great ways to boost your mood and occupy your mind.

4. Share your feelings

Talking more openly about how loneliness affects you can really help. Hearing a familiar voice or seeing a friendly face can also make us feel less isolated.

Try not to compare yourself with others. Some people only share the good things happening to them, especially on social media, so comparing yourself to others can make you feel lonelier.

Plus, we can never be sure of what someone else is going through.

Video: Lift someone out of loneliness

Find out some simple things you can do if you know someone who is lonely.

5. Connect with others or volunteer to help

Think about people you know who might be feeling lonely and try to connect with them, which might also make you feel less lonely too.

If you pass someone you recognise, try smiling and say hello. And if you start chatting, could you swap phone numbers or suggest joining or setting up a local group together?

Getting to know people in your area can help with social isolation, especially when moving somewhere new.

Arranging to meet new friends in a safe, public place for a walk outside, or inviting someone out for a cup of tea or coffee can be a great way to help lift each other out of loneliness.

It might be harder for people who’ve been lonely for a while to be open to connecting, so give them time to respond to your friendly contact.

Volunteering is also a great way to meet people, and seeing the benefits of your actions can really help to boost your mental wellbeing.

Find out about volunteer roles on Do-it-life.org

6. Invite someone along to activities near you

There are many free and low-cost activities you can take part in throughout the year.

Look at Visit England's list of cheap and free things to do for suggested events in your local area, and invite someone to come along.

Get your mind plan

Find what works for you

Answer 5 quick questions to get your free plan with tips to help you deal with anxiety and stress, improve your sleep, boost your mood and feel more in control.

More help and support for loneliness

The NHS mental health hub has advice, a self-assessment quiz, audio guides and practical tools to help you. Plus check our urgent support page if you need help now.

If you are feeling lonely, or think that someone you know might be, the organisations listed here can offer advice and help.

Talk to someone about how you're feeling

The Mix

The Mix offers free confidential help for under-25s to get support online and via a helpline:

  • call 0808 808 4494
  • text "THEMIX" to 85258
  • visit The Mix website for a free online chat service

LGBT Foundation

Confidential and judgement-free support for LGBTQ+ people and their loved ones:

Silverline

A free 24-hour confidential telephone helpline offering information, friendship and advice to people over 55:

  • call 0800 4 70 80 90

Communities you could join

The Student Room

The Student Room is the largest online community, with a range of different forums to help students get advice and support from others while studying:

Mind's Side By Side

If you are over 18, you can join Side By Side, an online community where you can listen, share and be heard by others:

Opening Doors

Opening Doors is there to support LGBTQ+ people over 50 to live full, vibrant and respected lives free from isolation, loneliness, discrimination and prejudice:

Mumsnet

Mumsnet is a great place to connect with other parents and carers. The website offers advice, knowledge and support to help make lives easier on everything from conception to childbirth and babies to teenagers:

Gransnet

Gransnet is a social networking site that offers a forum for over-50s to chat, debate, support each other and share a laugh:

Carers UK

Offering expert telephone advice via its support service, Carers UK also has a forum where you can chat and seek advice from others:

NCT

NCT offers a range of free, community-based activities and events across the UK, providing social connection and support for parents. You can also find trusted information and a range of antenatal, breastfeeding and postnatal support on the NCT website. The free Infant Feeding Line is open every day from 8am to midnight if you need support or just someone to talk to:

Bereavement

Ataloss and The Good Grief

If you have been bereaved and need support, Ataloss and The Good Grief Trust offer helplines, information and guidance to help you:

Other resources

Mind

Mind has information about dealing with loneliness and offers tips and advice on coping with these feelings:

British Red Cross

The British Red Cross's "Tackling Loneliness Digitally" programme has developed some new resources to help build confidence, coping skills and connections for adults and young people:

The Campaign to End Loneliness

The Campaign to End Loneliness wants to inspire everyone to connect and bring communities together across the UK. It shares research, evidence and knowledge with thousands of other organisations and the public to make a difference to older people's lives:

The Marmalade Trust

The Marmalade Trust is dedicated to raising awareness of loneliness and helping people make new friendships:

Co-Op Foundation's Lonely not Alone

A campaign co-designed with young people to tackle the stigma of youth loneliness and improve mental wellbeing:

More in Life's challenges

Bereavement and traumatic events

Maintaining healthy relationships and mental wellbeing

Life changes