Self-harm 

Introduction 

Self-harm

An expert explains why young people may self-harm, and describes some of the different forms it can take. Caroline, director of Harmless, used to self-harm as a teenager. She gives advice on how to get the right support.

Bullying

Many children and young people experience bullying but you don't have to put up with it.

Self-harm is when somebody intentionally damages or injures their body. It is a way of expressing deep emotional feelings such as low self-esteem, or a way of coping with traumatic events, such as the death of a loved one.

If you are self-harming, you should see your GP for help. You can also call the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 for support or visit the website of Mind (a mental health charity) for further advice. Read more about where to get help if you self-harm.

Self-harm is an expression of personal distress, rather than an illness, although it can be linked to other mental health conditions such as depression. Read more about the causes of self-harm.

Research has suggested that self-harm is most common among 15-19-year-olds, and those suffering from anxiety and depression.

Signs of self-harm

Types of self-harm may include:

People often try to keep self-harm a secret because of shame or fear of discovery. For example, they may cover up their skin and avoid discussing the problem. It may, therefore, be up to close family and friends to notice when somebody is self-harming, and to approach the subject with care and understanding. The signs may include unexplained injuries and signs of depression or low-self esteem. Read more about the signs of self-harm.

Someone who is self-harming can seriously hurt themselves, so it is important that they speak to a GP about the underlying issue and about any treatment or therapy that might help them.

Last reviewed: 08/11/2011

Next review due: 08/11/2013

Comments are personal views. Any information they give has not been checked and may not be accurate.

doordie said on 10 May 2012

I was very lucky with my GP. I went to him and explained to him what had been happening, and he took me very seriously and spent about 15-20mins with me making sure he got everything right, and really listening to me, and then he referred me to CAMHS (now known as CYPS) and they were great to start off with. Now it is time for me to leave child services, but my psych doesnt want to put me onto adult services because they do not take self harm as seriously as child services do (hence why child services is so intense) so I would not get the level of support that she thinks I need. She suggested me going privately, which I think is wrong because we pay taxes to help fund the NHS to help ourselves, and yet when we need mental health help as an adult, we dont get the help we really need. I found that when I was in hospital (for self harm), the nurses are just like "pfft", but the psychs in the hospital are amazing! so I dont understand why the NHS only tends to support kids with mental health issues and leave adults when adults need help just as much as kids do!

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Bradhadair said on 08 May 2012

I've been self harming for about a year and a half. My family only found out recently and things have just gone from bad to worse... I was taken to my GP and it was no help at all... They just confirmed what i already knew. That was 2 weeks ago and I've havent done anything more serious than snap an elastic band against my wrist since. I normally cut myself but I also bite, scratch and hit. I've been slowly getting more and more desperate to cut and I've started lashing out at people... I feel so awful when I do which just increases the need to cut but then because i want to cut i lash out more and it goes round in one vicious circle... I'm in the middle of exams and I feel like I'm stood in a crowded room and im screaming and everyone can hear but no is listening... I just want something to take away the hate and anger and frustration but no one seems to understand. my family think im attention seeking but then why didnt i make it more obvious i say? they dont reply... i just get those obvious little sideways glances that make me feel like im the scum of the earth... i just want to be understood

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NemiForever said on 02 May 2012

The NHS needs to invest some more time and energy into helping sufferers of Depression and Self-Harm. Too many doctors still don't recognize it as a serious illness / addiction.

I'm 23 and have been self-harming since I was 12, and my experience of doctors is that they either simply don't care, or they think you're exaggerating. I was diagnosed as having Major Depression and prescribed antidepressants. I was told I'd be 'closely monitored'. I gradually went up to 50mg, then 100mg, then eventually up to 150mg - and when I saw a different doctor to get my prescription, his response was: "You should never have been prescribed 150mg, that's far too high. I'm only giving you 50mg. No pill is going to take away life's little dramas you know." - - this to a patient diagnosed with Major Depression?? It's disgusting.

In the end, I weaned myself off the pills and started counselling, which helped, but my self-harm habit still hasn't gone. I suppose it never will - but the doctors never bothered to check. Closely monitored? I could be dead for all they know / care.

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Troas said on 23 April 2012

I am 63 years old and I started to self harm last year, so as you see I am not a teenager, although I do have depression. The Clinical Psychologist has been fantastic also MIND, they gave me a Befriender who has been a tower of strength to me. Now I am free from the knife so no more cutting. I was also told to keep the knife clean but I also had the support I needed.
The depression came over a period of time firstly I was in and out of hospital, then my mother passed away then I remembered how I had been abused as a child by a stranger who virtually kidnapped me and did despicable atrocities. Reading all the above comments I felt I had to add my comment. I am so thankful that I have had such good care from my surgery, MIND, Psychiatrist and even my dentist. I am really blessed.

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gabs10d said on 31 March 2012

I was self harming and was seeing a counsellor at the same time. When I told her what I was doing all she said was, "make sure you use something sterile to do it with, you dont want an infection". She made it sound as if it wasnt a problem and that I was making it a bigger issue than what it really was!

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pipkins47 said on 19 March 2012

I went to my Doctors after i split up from my GF who knew i was being abused by a family member she gave me an ultimatum i tell someone about myself being abused or she will leave me and as i paused to consider how to stop being abused without haveing to rip a family apart she had made her mind up she ended our relationship , i was devastated i went to the docs for tablets she asked me why, i didnt mention the abuse to her .anyway she just told me to go home and have a glass of wine, i was feeling suicidal my world had fallen apart and she told me to have a glass of wine,

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cantDOthisnomore said on 19 March 2012

i agree with the first comment, ever since a young age i have suffered wth depression and psychosis , my life has been a constant wirlwind of mental health hospotyals psychiatrists and doctors, after getting sectioned my life personally has gone down hill and nothing i do seems to work for me anymore and life is just becoming unbearable to actually cope with and live for. what can a person do when all they ever think about is suicide and serious self harm, everytime i so much as watch an horror film my voices can be brought on, if i just look at somebody and they look like someone i know who has hurt me previously that can also bring on the voices. before my voices were just aimed at hurting mne now they are slowly spiralling out of control and forcing me to hurt people around me. i know that this is a problem yet it is one thta i am losing against and cannot beat it. truthfully i dont know how much more i can take after everything i have been through i am sick of waking up just wanting the ground to swallow me up! somebody please help me becuase i generally dont think that this is right for someone my age .... if somebody could help me out i would be much grateful.
my best friend killed himself after years of being depressed and after visiting countless doctors and medical teams each time they all sent him away with the same problem, drinking, yet he hardly ever drank and because he could hardly cope with the feelings of been distressed and depressed al thje time he sadly took his life, i am not using that as a disadvantage im just really worried because i feel that the same is happening to me, psychiatrists dont offer the right amount of guidance and support that young people need myself included and the youngsters of today are slowly going through suicide, if this is at all in any way useful that you can help me then please let me know because ir eally dont think i can do this anymore!!!

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DAMNSPAM said on 17 February 2012

I've self-harmed at various times in my life. It started I think when I was young but it wasn't that bad, I'd do stuff like whack my head against walls or tables because I often felt stupid. When I was 8 I threatened to throw myself out a window and the police got called. I think I was quite a moody child at times, apparently I was pretty intense and could be demanding like not going to bed. When I was teenager I started to get more moodswings (which of course is pretty standard) and generally more argumentative, and me and mum were often arguing, and I would lash out at friends. When I was about 16 I started taking small overdoses occasionally. And 17 I burnt my arms. In general I don't cut much, only having done that a few times. Generally my self-harm is considered to be indirect with stuff like risky sexual behaviour (like just being incredibly short sighted and having unprotected sex, or just being in such states that I don't know what's going on) and also through taking a lot of drugs. Sometimes before I do something like cut I feel so spaced out and I don't feel like I exist. At times I think it comes out in just being really reckless like not caring if I get into a fight and loose with someone, or stealing things and not caring if I get caught. Sometimes I feel like a really awful person I suppose I don't have a lot of self-respect. At times I feel so angry with myself so I punch walls, or myself. I've been diagnosed with a lot of things, though I suppose this is mostly behaviour that's to do with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder. Sometimes I feel like hurting myself because it makes how I feel into something tangible. I'm trying to make healthier choices, and choices that are less selfish, but sometimes I find myself feeling overwhelmed and then I go back to drinking and acting recklessly or self-destructive. I think mindfulness is helpful, plus anyone who repeatedly should look into getting a DBT skills book.

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Dilute said on 15 January 2012

It's really sad to hear that a lot of you have had no help from your GP at all. I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and have received help for self harm as soon as I got the courage to mention it to my doctor.
I have had help via medication (trying several types until I found one that fit.)
Psychotherapy
DBT
CBT
and counselling.
I have found all of this very helpful. I guess it depends on the area you live in. All my support was free as well with very short waiting times.

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AustinJ said on 12 January 2012

I have been Self Harming since the age of 8, which is awful as my oldest child is now 8 and I would hate for her to ever go through anything remotely similar, growing up I never had anyone to turn to, the GP thought I was nuts (at 8) and I was never referred to anyone which is sad because if i had been I would have been removed from the abusive home i was brought up in.
I stopped for a few years then in my teens the pressure to be thin etc led to bulimia and abusing laxatives which at the time I just thought it was me being vain but looking back I was self harming, doctors still not interested.
After I had kids suffered post natal depression still no counselling so I funded it myself at 60 an hour but was wonderful. Recently after a lot of stress and anguish I hurt myself badly this wasn't to go as far as it did, but it has and I do regret it, basically I could have died and I have a family member looking after me, the NHS have put me on a 6 week waiting list to see a counsellor, I don't need one in 6 weeks time I need someone to talk to now. However I did get the fright of my life and I can safely say I will never self harm again, my children are the important people in my world and are all that matters, it's sad I needed a wake up call to stop and break this habit. I do believe the NHS need to do more to help.

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LouisaPayne1D said on 13 December 2011

I had the same problem with my GP. I am 16 years old and i went to talk to my GP to get help for self harm. I began by telling him i felt depressed and he immediately inturupted me and asked if i was being bullies and im not so i told him so and he then asked if I had thought about killing myself which i havent but after i told him this he was completely uninterested. I told him i self harm regularly but he once again asked if i wanted to kill myself, which i dont. He then decided i was fine and told me that because of my recent vegetarianism i may be feeling down because of lack of vitamins and sent me home with a letter for a blood test. I still self harm and have not returned to talk to him. Self harm and suicide are two very different things - some needs to make this clear obviously.

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XlockieX said on 03 December 2011

i have been self harming for a couple of years i found it helps me to cope with stress's not good i know.
when i told my then phyc dr, i was self harming i was told by him because i was 35 male and only just started then i wasnt self harming because i dont fit the "criteria " for self harm ie 16-20 female.
so i would like to say to any one out there that dont fit the "criteria" dont worry you arent the only one you arnt a freak. and change you phyc doc if you think he/she isnt lissening to you i did and it was the best thing i ever done

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eaglefeather said on 29 November 2011

i agree that people who self harm don't get any help.
As i am only 16 and i am currently self harming i've tried to talk to someone and they are saying i need mental help. But nothing has been done to prevent me from self harming.
Since i have told this person i feel so stupid that i have let everything get to me.
I have tried numerous things to stop me from self harming, but nothing seems to work.
Ive recently been to my GP and she thinks that i might bipolar disorder, because ive had suicidal thoughts but maybe it is a cry for help, and im just not recieving any help :/

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gmf1979 said on 16 September 2011

I'm a 31 year old self-harmer. I began at 14 when in a moment of anger I slashed the back of my hand with a broken cup and ever since I have tended to harm myself intermittently, mostly as a result of having lost my temper. Generally I punch myself or I punch objects but I also have episodes when I cut myself with knives, scissors or broken glass. On one occasion I was hospitalised and almost arrested and I have a number of very visible scars on my arms and legs.

I tend to cut myself when I have been drinking. I managed to stop the cutting for an extended period after my kids were born, although I never seemed to be happy for long during that time, but started again after I split from my wife. I have never cut myself when my kids have been in the house with me, although I have punched walls.

I have suffered periods of depression where I've received counselling and medication, but I never seem to stick to them. I feel tense and tired almost all of the time, I seem to spend half the day clicking my neck or massaging my shoulder/chest, apart from when I drink or read novels. I feel most uncomfortable when at work as a Teacher or when in social situations where I don't know anyone well. I tend to be very up and down and when I feel down even for a few minutes, after a bad lesson for example, I feel like I'm completely unable to cope and that I have no hope.

Despite all this I'm involved in politics, trade union work and I'm a Governor. Unfortunately I never seem to have the time or energy to do what I want to which leaves me feeling totally useless and frustrated. Sometimes I get suicidal thoughts, although I'm confident I won't act on them as I love my kids too much to be that silly.

I worry about coping as I seem to be stuck in a cycle that stops me getting help. Weirdly part of the reason is that, even though I hate my job, I can't face changing my routine. Not really sure what I want anyone to do about all this but it helps me to write it down. Thanks.

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Sam13 said on 09 September 2011

I'm glad (if that's the right word) that I'm not the only one who has had issues with my GP. I went in to talk to them about my depression and self harm, and honestly got the feeling that she really wasn't interested. She did a questionnaire with me that covered the last two weeks, but as I tried to tell her, it wasn't during just the last two weeks that I had issues. She came to the conclusion that I was feeling 'a bit low' (which is clearly an understatement if you've ended up cutting) and was then more than happy to write a prescription for some anti-depressants. When I questioned her about other treatments, I was given a book prescription (which I've never heard of doing before) and was told that CBT and other 'talking therapies' were pretty much unavailable in South Wales, which is why they plug the books. Apparently I should read the book I was prescribed (which has a waiting list) and go back in a month to see how I am then. But now I wonder if I'm actually as bad as I think, and feel kind of stupid for going in about it at all - I can read a book of my own accord if that's the route I want to take, I was looking for more structured help, not just drugs, as I want to fix the underlying causes, not just stop the feelings which will come back when I come off the drugs. Now I don't know whether to go back and carry on trying to get help, (it took three appointments over about a year before they'd even think about looking into what turned out be PCOS), or whether to just give up on them for now, and see if the university can give me anymore help, even though it was them who suggested I see my GP in the first place.

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MisterToad17 said on 19 August 2011

Seeing as some of the comments are quite recent things may well have changed, but I came across an interesting story today and as a user of the service currently I have had concerns about how I have been "helped".

Here's a link about a story from 2009. I only post this because there is a mention of a practice of if they phone you and can't raise you, they should phone the mobile and if they still cant raise you they will send a home visit.

https://www.nhs.uk/Personalisation/Registration.aspx?ReturnUrl=http%3a%2f%2fwww.nhs.uk%2fConditions%2fSelf-injury%2fPages%2fIntroduction.aspx%3furl%3dPages%2fwhat-is-it.aspx

On day 4 of my care I was told I would be visited despite it being Saturday. No tel call, no mob call and no home visit.
Considering I was suicidal and have had a major episode today I just have concerns that the system doesn't seem totally robust and mistake proof. I hope I am wrong.

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kitty93 said on 31 July 2011

I went to my GP after reaching what was an all time low almost five months ago now. I was self harming worse than ever and I had a mental breakdown.
I saw my GP and told her what had been going on, she suspected me of having bipolar disorder and told me she would refer me to mental health. Like other people who commented here I still haven't heard a thing, and now I am feeling worse than ever. Because nothing happened I feel stupid for ever telling anybody. I am better at hiding my harming and am starting to have suicidal thoughts. I really need help and I have nowhere to go.
I feel totally isolated and i can't believe that our issues are not taken more seriously. If the nhs can't help then what am I supposed to do?

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User523407 said on 28 January 2011

I agree, i told my GP about my problem, she said i was too young for counseling and nothing was done.

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elfy_p said on 18 June 2010

I agree. The lack of help and treatment for self harmers is worrying. I used to self harm and ended up having to go to my GP as a very deep cut had got infected. GP just said 'oh dear' and gave me antibiotics. I was told I would be referred for counselling but this never happened. Looking back now I can see I was very ill and in a bad place but I did not get any help or support whatsoever.

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billybump said on 22 November 2009

Mental health teams would do well to read this site as many have told me that self harm does not lead to suicide and have subsequently sent away distressed patients who are begging for help leaving them to bleed out to dangerously low levels , even A&E doctors recognise the danger in giving no support to people who self harm and keep them in hospital as they could die. Perhaps the NHS could engage in joined up thinking?

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