(Ben) Completely out of my league, but she doesn't seem to have noticed.

(laughs) Result.

(Rosie) Well, he's not bad-looking and I'm falling for him big time.

Maybe it's love.

(Ben) So today's the day.

- Hi. Can I help? - Yes.

I was just wondering whether I could have a chlamydia test.

Yes, certainly.

You can do the big screen test or we've got a drop-in at the moment.

One of our nurses is free.

- So I can do it now? - Yes. That's absolutely fine.

- Take a seat in the waiting room. - Thank you very much.

(Ben) Look at me.

I am a man, not a mouse,

proud to be tested for a sexually transmitted infection.


(Ben sighs) I hope she appreciates this.

Me hanging out with sick people

just to get tested for something that doesn't even affect me.

Hang on a minute. What's that all about?

Oh. Well, thank heavens I'm taking my responsibilities seriously.

(Rosie) Well, here I am.

What are they going to make me do?

I cannot believe this was my idea.

Good afternoon.

Hi. I've got a 2.30 appointment to see the nurse.

If you'd like to take a seat and she will call you.

(Rosie) OK, here we go. Deep breaths.

Read something. That'll help calm me down.

Uh-oh. What's that all about?

I'm not sure I'm quite up for babies yet,

but I would like the option in the future.

- Hello. - Hi. Come in. Take a seat.

My name's Irene, I'm one of the nurses here. What can I do for you?

Well, I was just wondering whether I could have a chlamydia test.

OK, that's fine. We'll get you to fill in this form.

All that information is confidential, OK?

To get the results we do need to contact you,

so it would be by text if it was negative

and if it was positive we would give you a call

and speak to you in person about that.

- Is that OK with you? - Yes, sure.

All you have to do is pee into a pot.

Oh. Oh, OK. Right.

(Ben) I thought it was going to be something really awful

and all I have to do is pee in this pot.

Ha! Winner!

Job done.

So this is the pack that we use to do the chlamydia screening.

You go in the toilet, take the swab out of there,

place it in your vagina for about five seconds, like you would do a tampon,

pop it back in there and it's completed.

OK? Hand that to the reception.

- Is that it? - That's it. That's all it is.

(Rosie) No hand up my bits, just a do-it-yourself vaginal swab. Result!

Job done.

The reviews were actually quite bad. Wait, sorry.


(woman) Hi. I'm calling to tell you that your chlamydia test is positive.

- OK. - Can you go and see the nurse?

Sure. That's fine. Thank you for that.

- Who was that? - Er... my mum.

(phone beeps)

Do you want to stay round mine tonight? My mum and dad are out.


(Ben) How am I going to get out of this?

You know what? I think we should wait.

- To make it special. - OK.

(Ben) Oh, that was so cheesy.

Well done for coming in today. As you know, you have chlamydia.

(Ben) I am unclean, I am dirty. I may need surgery.

All it is is just some antibiotics.

It's just four tablets. You can take them now if you want.

(Ben) Praise be for modern medicine. I am saved.

Even though we're treating you today,

it's important that you don't have sex at least for the next seven days.

I always say to people to try and use condoms anyway,

even if you're with a regular partner.

It does help protect you against infection.

With other sexual partners over the past six months,

they do need to be tested as well,

and if you've got problems contacting them

then we can always do that on your behalf.

(Ben) Well, I'm glad I came clean in the end.

I made you a cup of tea.

(Ben) She took the whole thing rather well,

impressed with my responsible attitude.

And it's cool she didn't mind waiting.

(Rosie) Well, lucky for him it was worth the wait.