Will sex be the same after birth? 

A group of mothers and fathers talk about their experiences of having sex after the birth of their baby.

Find out more about whether sex will be the same after birth

Transcript of Will sex be the same after birth?

Will sex be the same after birth?

 

Georgie I think after going through labour it was the last thing on my mind and then gradually as weeks went on you think ‘oh OK, life’s getting a bit back to normal’, you start thinking about it a bit more and certainly my husband and I spoke about it before it happened and then contraception being the important part as well and it wasn’t the same to start with but it certainly is now.

 

Ryan: My wife, she had to have stitches and that…obviously afterwards the whole experience of having sex was completely out of her mind.  You know what? It was kind of like a rebuilding of trust again because it’s like ‘you did this to me!’

 

Beckie: It got to the point where we were thinking about our relationship and thinking ‘I feel so disconnected from you’ since the baby’s come and he was feeling the same, thinking ‘I wonder if we’re actually going to get through this and be together and just because we felt so disconnected, because we couldn’t be close how we were normally close.  Even just cuddling, obviously me cuddling into him…things were leaking and I was just like ‘no.’

 

Ryan: But any noise that you hear you think ‘is that the baby?’

 

Georgie: You just have these big eyes staring at you.

 

Ryan: You whole world is…

 

Beckie: …revolving around this little life.

 

Ryan: That’s the only thing which definitely I was constantly aware of.

 

Rupert: You shouldn’t feel pressured socially because you might hear about your friends or some other people that…it doesn’t take them that long at all and then…you don’t want to feel sort of pressured.

 

Georgie: I think all the things that we’ve been talking about, I certainly felt that in the first few times that we had sex, those things were so prevalent in my mind, but then it moved on and you get to the fourth, fifth, sixth time of having sex and you go ‘ok, it’s not so bad, actually this body’s fine, it’s healing and it is going back to normal’ and then suddenly you forget about it.

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