Addictions can develop from various behaviours, and that includes sex and love.
The relationship counselling service, Relate, describes sex addiction as any sexual activity that feels out of control. This could involve sex with a partner, but it may also mean activities such as pornography, masturbation, visiting prostitutes or using chat lines.
For many people, these habits don't cause them any problems. However, sex addicts are unable to control these urges and actions despite the problems it may cause their relationships, finances and professional lives.
This addiction is similar to substance abuse because an addiction is caused by the powerful chemical substances released during sex.
But love addicts become dependent on the emotional stability provided by romantic partners. Love addicts often have low self-esteem and lack self-identity, and their addiction can result in obsessive, controlling behaviour.
The cause of love and sex addictions is often rooted in childhood or adolescence. Early trauma, neglect or depression may be factors. One American study revealed that 80% of participants with sex addiction suffered emotional trauma or sexual abuse in their childhood.
The consequences of sex and love addiction are varied. Sex and love addicts will typically have long-term relationship and intimacy problems, but the addiction can also affect them financially, professionally, physically and socially.
The recovery process for sex and love addicts is similar to that of substance addictions, and it involves identifying and changing behaviour that's painful and damaging.
Could you or someone you know have a problem?
Relate: sex addiction
Relate offers advice, relationship counselling, sex therapy, workshops, mediation, consultations and support face-to-face, by phone and through its website. Read Relate’s advice on recognising the signs of sexual addiction.
Real stories
‘I was a love addict’
Read how Clare Catford’s problems with love addiction began in her teens and how she got help to treat the problem.
Get help
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous is a Twelve Step fellowship based on the model pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous. Visit the website for more information and to find a meeting in your area.
Health A-Z: CBT
Cognitive behavioural therapy is often used to treat addiction. Find out what it involves, and watch a video of an expert explaining how it can help.
The Recovery Network
The Sex, Love & Relationships area of this site has a chat room and forums, articles on education and preventing a relapse, and check a list of events, such as discussion groups and talks.
