Dawn (pictured above left), 44, lives in Camberwell and has been a carer for her autistic son, Chris, for the last 21 years. Here she explains how a Looking after Me course run by Lambeth Community Health has helped her to cope.
“Chris was diagnosed with autism at two and a half years old. I knew something was wrong because when people came up to his pushchair to say hello he wouldn’t even look at them. I took him to my GP and at first, he thought Chris was deaf, but then he was sent for more tests and we discovered he was autistic.
“I felt confused and isolated. At the time not many people had heard of autism and there wasn’t much support available. It was hard because he didn’t develop as fast as other children his age – he didn’t speak until he was four.
“When I went out shopping I had to get everything done quickly, otherwise he would start screaming. It was difficult because people would stare and think he was badly brought up, because they didn’t know about his autism. I found it stressful and physically demanding when Chris was young. I felt like other people just didn’t understand.
“I was lucky as I had a friend who also had an autistic son and sometimes she would look after Chris so I could have some time to myself. But he wouldn’t go to anyone else, not even my family. He was constantly with me and always needed reassurance. As Chris has got older it has become easier, but he will always need care.
“I found out about the Looking after Me course through Lambeth Carers (now Carers Hub Lambeth). I went along with a friend who cares for a child with mental health problems.
“It’s a six-week course that helps you think about taking care of yourself. It highlights the problems carers can face and teaches you how to cope with them. I find that it’s the day-to-day stresses that are hardest to deal with. With an autistic child you have to predict what will happen all day long. Now when I get stressed I use the breathing techniques I learned to calm me down.
“The course also teaches you about depression. You learn to be aware of the symptoms and how to deal with them. I think this is very useful as I had depression myself when my marriage broke down when Chris was only five and I had to care for him on my own.
“The most important thing I learned on the course was that even when you are a carer you still need to take a break. If you are stressed then whomever you are caring for will be stressed too.
“Whether it’s 10 minutes every day or a couple of hours a week, you need to take time for yourself. It’s important to take your mind somewhere else and to exercise your body so you are refreshed to care for someone else.”
What is the Looking after Me course?
Looking After Me is a free course open to any adult in Lambeth who gives help to a relative or friend who is ill, disabled, elderly or in need of emotional support – that is, any carer.
The six-week course is taught by professional tutors who have experience as carers themselves. It covers a range of topics including:
- relaxation techniques
- dealing with tiredness
- healthy eating
- coping with feelings of depression, anxiety and stress
- communicating with family, friends and professionals
- planning for the future
