I was 16, I started college
and alcohol was quite big in the culture, I suppose.
So I started drinking more, got into beer
and then somebody introduced me to cannabis
and then the roller coaster began.
I couldn't really handle my alcohol,
so when I found cannabis I thought I'd discovered the secret to the universe.
And, if I'm honest, I really, really enjoyed the buzz.
So I'd drink and all sorts
and then again somebody mentioned, "Why don't you try cocaine?"
And then that roller coaster kicked off as well.
There are many people that admit they've got an addictive personality,
and the ones that don't, that can be denial as well.
If you're a person that doesn't want to go home, wants to keep going,
"Come on, come on, keep it going,"
perhaps you've got a problem, because that's the person I was.
I think I was spending maybe around £300 to £400 a week.
I didn't do it every day but when I did it, I did it.
It changed everything. I became very paranoid.
The cannabis brought me to my knees. It's skunk today.
It smashed me to the ground, really.
Deluded my vision of life, of where I was going.
I didn't have any aspirations, didn't want to do anything, really.
I had lots of dreams and couldn't be bothered to do anything.
It wasn't working with family and friends at that point.
I think for five years I didn't spend one single night in at home.
I still lived at home.
I pushed them away and I was very angry.
They remind me about my anger. I was very angry.
Everything was smooth if you didn't talk to me.
In the end I was so tired of trying to work, do my professional life,
and be this other person as well that was a secret user.
But everybody knew, I think, in the end.
I didn't even need to use heroin or crack to be on my knees.
I fell to my knees to the point where I remember,
in the toilets, on my own, racking up the lines of cocaine.
I was crying at that point
and I knew then, "I don't want to continue."
I didn't want to kill myself, I just didn't know what to do. I was stuck.
I needed something and I found a recovery programme,
a 12-step recovery programme which I work on a day-to-day basis.
Drugs worked for me for a while, in the early days,
but then they didn't work at all in the end
and a lot of people, if they were honest, they'd admit the same thing.
I just think there's more to life than just drugs.
There's more to life than sitting there
with a group of mates doing some ecstasy and then just having a little rush.
I have been tempted quite a few times but then I thought again,
thought about my dance, what could happen, the consequences,
and just said no.
I love to dance, I love to show people what I can do,
get my body moving in different ways, in different positions, different shapes.
Prove a point to people that doubt me
that I can go further in life than they can.
I think if you've got a passion in life that you want to get to and succeed to,
you've got to stick to it.
You can't just mess it up because there's no second chances in life.
When I'm trying to talk to my mates to tell them not to do those drugs,
they will all listen to me but it's up to them if they want to listen.
I can't really force them to listen but I've still got my opinion.
Some people ask why I don't do it. I'm like, "Because I don't want to."
They've got respect for me for that. That's how my friendship group works.
Some of my mates now realise it does put a big hole in your pocket.
You wake up the next morning and you're like, "Where's my money gone?"
You've wasted it on drugs.
When they're on it, their personality changes a lot.
One of my friends, when he's on coke or he's been smoking green or something,
his personality changes, he has mood swings.
He gets well paranoid.
I just turn the other way, meet up with different friends and leave him to it.
If someone offered me an ecstasy pill and offered my mate one
and he said yes and I've gone, "No, I'm all right, mate,"
they won't say, "You're a pussy. Do it."
They'll be like, "Fair enough."
I think if you're going to say no, you say no at the time.
If people are going to think less of you,
then they're not your friends.