I was beginning to lose
all my self-confidence.
I began to feel that I was worthless
and I'd never achieved anything in life.
And, um, I couldn't sleep.
I then ended up having
a total nervous breakdown.
I was in a meeting
and, um... I just couldn't follow
what everyone else was saying.
And so they realised there was a problem
and I was sent to the joint services
I started displaying the symptoms
Didn't know it at the time,
but I was becoming
and having feelings of great control
over events, and power.
I mean, I used to believe that I
when I was driving along,
that I could change traffic lights
to green as I approached.
That I could make them turn green.
And I had several psychotic episodes.
But the one that really sort of
had a major effect on me
was when I believed
that I was the archangel Gabriel.
I'd read about other people
who'd suffered from manic depression
and they have quite often said
that they were so concerned
about the fact that they were going mad.
I've never, ever believed
that I was mad.
And this is the reason why the
of manic depression
normally takes so long to be recognised.
Because when you are manic,
why would you go to the doctor's
when you feel absolutely wonderful
and you're flying?
I was seen by a naval psychiatrist...
"You've been dismissed...
..your marriage is breaking up..."
Because it was by this stage.
It was really on the rocks, you know.
"..and yet you are so happy."
That was, um... him actually trying
to suggest the diagnosis to me
of manic depression, I think.
I take my medication. I take
Quetiapine, which is an antipsychotic.
Just a very small dosage. 25mg.
And I take it religiously
and have no further desire to, um,
go through manic depression... again.
that's how Sally likes me to be:
boring and normal.