Bipolar disorder 

Introduction 

Bipolar disorder

Bipolar disorder, formerly known as manic depression, is a condition that affects your moods. An expert talks about symptoms and diagnosis, and explains the different treatments that are available.

Bipolar disorder - previously known as manic depression - is a condition that affects your moods, which can swing from one extreme to another. If you have bipolar disorder you will have periods or 'episodes' of depression and mania.

Depression and mania

The depression and mania that are associated with bipolar disorder are characterised as follows:

  • depression: where you feel very low, and
  • mania: where you feel very high; slightly less severe mania is known as hypomania.

Both extremes of bipolar disorder have a number of other associated symptoms (see the symptoms section). Unlike simple mood swings, each extreme episode of bipolar disorder can last for several weeks or longer. The high and low phases of the illness are often so extreme that they interfere with everyday life.

The depression phase of bipolar disorder often comes first. Initially, you may be diagnosed with clinical depression before having a manic episode some time later (sometimes years later), after which your diagnosis might change. During an episode of depression, you may have overwhelming feelings of worthlessness, which often lead to thoughts of suicide (see complications).

During a manic phase of bipolar disorder, you may feel very happy and have lots of ambitious plans and ideas. You may spend large amounts of money on things that you cannot afford. Not feeling like eating or sleeping, talking quickly and becoming annoyed easily are also common characteristics of the manic phase of bipolar disorder.

During the manic phase, you may feel very creative and view mania as a positive experience. However, during the manic phase of bipolar disorder, you may also have symptoms of psychosis (where you see or hear things that are not there).

How common is bipolar disorder?

Bipolar disorder is a relatively common condition with around one person in 100 being diagnosed with the condition.

Bipolar disorder can occur at any age, although it often develops in people who are between 18-24 years of age. Both men and women, and people from all backgrounds, can develop bipolar disorder.

The pattern of mood swings in bipolar disorder varies widely between individuals. For example, some people will only have a couple of bipolar episodes in their lifetime, and will be stable in between, while others may experience many episodes.

Bipolar disorder and driving

If you have bipolar disorder, it may have implications for driving. You must inform the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA) about any medical condition that could affect your ability to drive.

  • show glossary terms

Depression

Depression is when you have feelings of extreme sadness, despair or inadequacy that last for a long time.

Last reviewed: 18/11/2009

Next review due: 18/11/2011

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midnight fairie said on 21 January 2012

well im still here......docs have added an antidepressant to my meds.its only been a few days but um not as adgitated as normal.i feel a lot more sleepy and spaced out.when will i start to feel better or get my old life back not be afraid of going out and eating normally instead of being sick all of the time its crappy.how long does it take to feel normal again anybody got any tips or a few words of encouragement for me please....

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wingnut1st said on 18 January 2012

I am to the point that I need to ask, is my wife bipolar? At times she is hiper active, she can't sit still and relax. She wakes up at 4:30 in the morning and goes to an excrise class then runs in the evening for 1/2 an hour daily. She is always on a "diet" , can't eat fat as an example. Eats a salad for dinner and 1/2 hour later makes oatmeal cookies,(with crisco shorting) eats the raw dough and a few of the cooked cookies then throws out the rest. She spends her mornings getting ready for work and is always looking in the mirror as she puts on make up, that would be normal but she is obessed it seems like. She also picks her fingers around the first joints and leaves open skin. Daily she has angery out bursts aimed at me that seem like she needs to be that way and later she calms down. She is always mad at someone at work or me or our adult children, she uses the word hate all of the time. When she is mad she complains of head achs, she says we give her head achs. She is 55 years old and her father was a pretty mean guy, if that might help. What does she have?

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midnight fairie said on 09 January 2012

im back and bonkers.im sitting waiting for my doc to get back to me.the medication has got me on the edge im so angry and adgitated over nothing everyday is getting worse this has got to be wrong i shouldnt have to be like this all the time has anyone got any useful tips to get through this hard time,.

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Bikerbug said on 29 December 2011

Hi there Im new to this site and I thought I'd pop by to say hello. I've been diagnosed with bipolar for the last 10 years. I've taken every pill they have wanted me to try and I have just completed a 12 week cbt course. I currently take duloxitine, lithium, quietapine, zopiclone and something to Stop the migraines I keep getting! I have felt with the diagnosis for 10 years now I also have multiple personality disorders aswell which has only been found out in the last few months. I have a partner who has absolutely no clue about the problems I face everyday just to get my backside out of bed so I can get my kids to school. I know how helpless Thoes of you feel who do not yet have a diagnosis but in all honestly the diagnosis only changes what medications they try you on it doesnt suddenly provide u will all the answers, Thoes are things u will have to find out yourself. I recently looked into child bipolar and wow I was so shocked it described me perfectly as a child so I think I've pretty much had it all my life. But you do learn how to live with it and how to cope maybe not as well as people who don't have mental health problems but you do learn and you can go on. Sometimes I wish I cud walk round with a bandage on my head so that people would have some visual focus on the fact I have a illness that not only mentally disables me at times but physically aswell the 'hidden disability' what a joke it must of been a well person who came up with that title!! It's not hidden there are lots of physical symptoms that apear it's just that normal or untrained people just don't know either how to look for it or just can't see past their own noses!! I wonder wud they cope with the feelings of wishing so desperately that u hadn't woken up then dealing with a hormonal 10 yr old and a 6 yr old with ADHD and autistic tendancys and then the crap your mind puts out during the day and night. We 'hidden disabilities' ppl are far stronger than we give ourselves credit for.

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midnight fairie said on 19 December 2011

hi im finally back.had the worst few months.ive finally been diagnosed with bipolar i thought it would be a relief but i feel ashamed and though ive been given a life sentence.iv tried quitiapine i thought i was going to kill someone my spending was through the roof all i can say is there will be a few people happy on xmas morning.im now taking olanzapine its not much better and i dont feel like myself anymore nights out are a nightmare i cant drink as i get paranoid and sleepy its crap i wanted help now i feel like a prisoner in my own body.i have therapist cpn and need loads of councilling roll on the good times xxxx

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hello456 said on 14 November 2011

i dont know what is wrong with me, i have had bipolar been suggested by my boyfriend but i dont think it is?
i seem to get very easily stressed about the smallest of things and this can make me feel extremely low
when things go slightly wrong i seem to make it 100 times worse than what it is.. i feel so low sometimes i have thoughts of suicide.
i seem to act irrationally towards my boyfriend alot ive now pushed him away because of this and i dont know why i do these things i feel as if im not in control of my emotions and actions
ive only recently noticed that if im not feeling low im ethier tired or very hyper and annoying.. but these moods can change so quickly which to me says its not bipolar. i tend to talk really fast and jumble my words up alot when im hyper
i really think i need help now, i want to find out whats wrong with me so i can change this and make my life better and others around me too

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Musicalmark said on 11 October 2011

I have been under immense pressure from my family to 'admit' I have bipolar disorder. I have taken the whole situation very seriously and have researched all about the disorder. Maybe I am not 100% but what is certain is I am not being bullied into a corner.
Mental health is not a black and white issue. There are huge stigmas attached to being diagnosed with a disorder. It is the last great unfairness in society and affects job, family life, everything. I adjust my life to fit how I feel and take care of myself.
As far as I am concerned I am just a sensitive person. Denial? Maybe but I prefer that to being labled and losing my driving licence.

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vegasal said on 06 October 2011

I have finally come to the conclusion that I may actually be suffering from bipolar. By admitting it I suppose that it actually makes me feel better in myself strangely enough! I am 46,married and have a 9 year old daughter. Highs and lows a given in my life and suffering with work pressures. I get very angry and depressed especially at work and with other people. A particular episode around 5 years ago certainly got the ball rolling. My wife had a miscarriage and the company I worked for (a very bullying shipping company) were not happy that I took time off. A week later they sacked me ( I was 4 months into the job on a 6 month probationary period). This was October and then in December, just before Xmas, we got burgled. Ever since I do not take well to the slightest indication of bullying at work and this gives me a reputation of being awkward, unapproachable and difficult to work with. Home life is mixed. I absolutely adore my daughter but my wife and I are poles apart. The occasional thought of suicide does come over me around 3 or 4 times a month. All things considered it's difficult to gauge the level of depression that I have as I am up and down frequently. the common approach from me is to grin and bear it but now that I know I have a problem I am going to start making some subtle changes to my lifestyle and see how they go. Don't smoke and rarely drink although on certain occasions like birthdays I'll drink far too much - they call this binge drinking I believe - but need to exercise more especially seeing that I had a major back operation in May 2011 to remove a herniated disc. Oh well, that kind of feels much better getting this off my chest. Thanks for letting me do that and I suppose I'd better get down the swimming pool now for a few lengths!!

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sueschu4 said on 25 September 2011

To littleamelie. I have only just found this site. I hope you have managed to find some help since your August post. Whenever you experience an episode, keep asking for help, even if this means seeing your doctor every day. If you feel they are not doing enough, you can go to a hospital A&E - they should have access to a duty psychiatrist. I am very lucky with my GP, who helps me with referrals. Have you tried using your own GP to help speed things through? I am experiencing an episode myself, so understand the frustrations and anxieties of having to wait for the next appointment.
It can be difficult to do, but think of asking any friends, family and colleagues to help you with this, including going with you to appointments - their objective account could prove very useful in psychiatric assessments. Good luck in getting the help you need.

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plym33 said on 22 September 2011

i have all the symptoms but i feel that the doctor wont belive me and so i put on a front, i can switch moods without warning , and it happens in extremes , when i feel low i just feel like i need to be left alone let alone talk to anyone, its affected my marriage and it affected my army career i just dont know what to do

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plym33 said on 22 September 2011

i have all the symptoms but i feel that the doctor wont belive me and so i put on a front, i can switch moods without warning , and it happens in extremes , when i feel low i just feel like i need to be left alone let alone talk to anyone, its affected my marriage and it affected my army career i just dont know what to do

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littleamelie said on 02 August 2011

I was diagnosed with a "minor form" of bipolar earlier this year. It is minor because I am in a relationship and go to work, and apparently I am coping well with it. I am not, and I told my psychiatrist this. I told him it would help to have someone to talk to, I am struggling to hold down my job, and feel like I am not coping well. I have narrowly avoided having police and ambulences called out when I have been out and had an episode that I couldn't see coming. I need therapy, but not sure how I can go about getting the help I need. I don't see my psych until January, please help, before this gets totally out of control :(

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MrHairy said on 27 July 2011

MJayne,

GPs are not always great at mental health illnesses. You could try finding out about your local mental health team and if you can self refer for an assessment.

Your symptons you write certainly sound like you fit into the bipolar spectrum.

When you do start to feel down then do something you enjoy doing, or go for a walk or other exercise as this will increase the happy chemicals in your brain.

Watch what you eat as this could be having an effect on your mood. The doctors etc will only prescribe medication at the end of the day which are just chemicals. Once you know the chemicals you need to keep you happy (but not too happy) just keep to a balanced diet. For example did you know that four brazil nuts a day can help to keep you happy because of their selenium content. A lack of selenium in the diet can lead to anxiety and depression.

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wilbur44 said on 23 July 2011

can anyone tell me what the protocol is for seeking emergency medical help for bipolar between psychiatric appointments? someone ( not a healthcare professional) told me to go the hospital, but that sounds a bit dramatic. also if i am really depressed i am too phobic to go in the garden, let alone anywhere further. i have looked on this site but i cannot find any information, have i missed it?

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qbob said on 23 July 2011

MJayne,
if you feel very strongly that you are bipolar, it helps to be organised - write down as much as you can about your behaviour and mood swings (ie use a mood diary and make detailed notes if necessary) and remember to be totally honest with your gp about possible symptoms. it's easy to say, i know, but don't be fobbed off - it's an illness, so treat it like any other. go back to your gp (maybe bring a friend/relative for support). if your behaviour is unusual and/or harmful, then you need help. best wishes

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MJayne said on 22 July 2011

I'm a (nearly) 18 year old girl, and I think I may be bipolar. I've done some of the online tests and they tell me I am, and to consult a doctor, but whenever I do consult my GP, they just over look it.

I have weeks of 'up' periods, in which I'm extremely hyperactive. fidgety, irritable, I sleep less, have great self/confidence, do reckless things without thought of how it could harm me, am easily distracted, rapid thought changes, more talkative, very social, I wear more outrageous clothes (for my style) and more make up and have no/few thoughts of deliberate self harm. I'm extremely optimistic and over the top bubbly also. There's also a possibilty that I get delusional, as a recent situation has occured where I am sure something happened, but it didn't.

In my 'down' periods on the other hand, its a drastic change, I have suicidal thoughts and attempts (a lot), self-harm, self-loath and no self-esteem, constant crying or upset, angered easily, very quiet and closed off, seek solitude, highly anxious, always tired, sleep restlessly, eat very little/nothing, confused/unclear thoughts, unable to pay attention/zone out, very distant and absentminded, and care little for my appearance. I'm also very pessimistic and have no hope/faith in anything, and feel worthless or guilty.

Before any of this started I was pretty normal teenager, sometimes hyper but never excessively, had moderate self-esteem, ate and slept regularly, was averagely social (not outgoing but not shy either), and never angry (or if I was I wouldn't show it.)

It's not the fact that I may have bi-polar disorder that's scaring me, it's not knowing whether I have it or not. I don't want things to get worse, and the GPs I see (a different one each time) don't help. I need help to know what to do.

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qbob said on 14 July 2011

User572777
keep a record of your moods (download a mood diary if you need somewhere to start) - it'll help you keep track of how you've been and when (more helpful than you might think -honestly). it'll help you assess your situation more easily and maybe highlight things that trigger a change. also you'll have something to show your doctor that indicates that there is a real, long-term issue/problem that you want addressing asap. good luck :)

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pinkpies said on 13 July 2011

hello all,
im new to this and really am after some advce please.
my mother(63) has been poorly for a ggod couple of months now.
it started with a nasty bout of flu, since having this, she has dramitically chnagfed.
her behaviour has gone from verbal aggressivness, innappropiate sexual talk, mumbling conversations, the inability to concentrate, very controling, angry, obesssions with baking and shopping(but within in her means)
she has displayed quite childlike behaviour also.
my dad(70) doesnt really know how to address this.
she has been to the dr we are waiting for blood test rseults, but she is not aware that she is acting any different, she thinks she is ok, and is reluctant to return to the dr!
i dont know whetether she maybe bipolar or whether im barking up the wrong tree!
i welcome any thought or advice(please only comment in a helpful way).
many thanks to those who take the time to reply.:)

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User572777 said on 12 July 2011

im new to this, i have never asked for help on this scale, i like to keep things to myself, which doesnt help!
i have an appiontment with my doctors and i am scared they wont listen to me i have been diagnosed with depression and stress/depression after the loss of my mother 2 1/2 years ago?
how do i make them listen to me?
i have read up on bipolar and my partner has and we are in conclusions that i may have it! i just dont want to be overlooked and left to deal with this on my own, after all i have dealt with mood swings and depression all my life for as long as i can remeber, and im only 24!
if you can Help please do!! thank you A x

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midnight fairie said on 21 June 2011

well ive been to mental health and ive been discharged from primarycare as i need more help so im now with secondary care.now its the process of waiting to get appt with psychologist.why do things take so long.my spending through the roof and ive started on the drinking again.my mind just doesnt settle ever its annoying.how many more times do i have to destroy things because i have no control.just need to b normal xxx

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midnight fairie said on 09 June 2011

thankyou rosietalk.its horrible ive been to docs got sertraline today roll on the side affects.ive been to c my mental health worker today im on the verge of losing it again im panicky shaky paranoid im crying then high this cant just b depression.ive been to crisis team 2wks ago bec i cut my legs up and ive spent to much money.im seeing cpn on monday but need advice on how do i get a diagnosis im so fed up my partner says im starting to read to much into things im not sleeping or eating and feel adgitated its too much at times.why cant i b normalx

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RosieTalk said on 09 June 2011

midnight fairie,


Try and find someone you can talk to if you are not coping well, like your GP, who can advise you about the next steps to take towards feeling better, or a close friend or relative.

There are people who understand, and who can help you deal with the problems you are experiencing. You can visit www.samaritans.org.uk for advice, email jo@samaritans.co.uk or call 08457 90 90 90.

If you are feeling suicidal, please visit A&E if you are in despair. They will have a crisis team on hand to help you.

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midnight fairie said on 06 June 2011

hi im back ive had such an awful time my depression been unreal been in hospital and had surgery .mental health have weaned me off my anti depres its killing me ive got flu like symptoms electric shocks going on in my head.cant wait to start new meds on thursday.im in a little better phase now but seem to b spending to much again im waiting for my cbt and councilling and everything else to start its just such a long proccess.hoping i will get some kind of diagnosis soon im fed up of being crazy xxxxxxxxx

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qbob said on 03 June 2011

Hi anthonyg87
You need a proper diagnosis - if you are bipolar then antidepressants might make you worse. Diagnosis and treatment plan seem to be part of a fairly slow process anyway, as far as I can tell. Had my first appointment and started meds a month ago now. Feel so scared that I might never feel/act normal. But more scared that I will - that meds will work and I'm gonna have to face up to wasting 20 years of my life feeling like crap and messing everything up when my life could have been much better. wish I'd had help/support years ago.
So good luck with psychiatrist, basically.

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anthonyg87 said on 03 June 2011

Im 24 years old, and quite sure that i suffer with bipolar dissorder.I have constant mood swings and can be so horrible to the people i love.Im often suicidal.im always aggitated and very irritable.I get very angry over the slightest thing and im very paranoid.Feel uncomfortable in social situations when im low but the life and soul when im up.my gp has reffered me to a psychiatrist and prescribed me with anti depressants,she suggested its very possibly bipolar dissorder.I break down in tears for little or no reason,im suicidal and feel completely worthless, sometimes i cut myself and feel like an idiot afterwards i visualize slitting my wrists every single day.but when im in a good mood im on top of the world i make music with my friends talk too much and do stupid things,i know that im doing these things but cant stop myself.im desperate for help cos i know im pushing my girlfriend away with all the accusations and mood swings.And im horrible to my girl and closest family members often for no reason at all.my mind races sometimes and i cant sleep or focus on anything in particular,but a milloion thoughts at the same time.I feel like im losing my mind,sometimes i think im being watched or there are people in the room with me when im alone.I know it can be treated but its so hard to talk to anyone as i get so embarrased and ashamed.ive been like this from about the age of 14 and its hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel,reading these comments tho i see im not the only one.it really helps to know that im not just crazy!! Good luck to you all,i understand exactly what your going through and you have my greatest sympathy.

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david1712 said on 19 May 2011

Mmmm! Just been to see my GP - I'm a very hyperactive 59 year old and have been on Diazepam since 1983.

I also drank a lot of booze 'til 97

I've been to CBT and never been quite open with anyone about the way I am.

I gave my GP a list of what happens to me and also some of my family history - he immediately suspected Bi Polar and now I'm off to see a psychiatrist

I walked out of my GP surgery elated that I had the courage to confess after decades of happiness/darkness

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melsmrs1987 said on 17 May 2011

Hi everyone, like alot of people on here i feel exactly the same. i have not yet been diagnosed with bipolar but have many of the sypmtoms. I am going to a self help group this Monday for bipolar sufferers or for people who believe they have this. I hear that bipolar could take 10 years to fully diagnose!
I hope that I can bring something positive back from this group as I feel so silly and scared to talk to anyone I know. I have this feeling people are going to laugh at me or am i being paranoid?
Anyway guys and gals, I hope that you all find some strength somewhere inside xxx

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Cydi said on 24 April 2011

I've always been really depressed, I never really had the best child hood ever, My dad was an alcoholic, all the violence and abuse. I just feel so low, I feel like everything's my fault, I'm why everything has happened. I hurt the people I love because my moods change just by a click of a finger. I get really angry. I feel so hurt and sad at times for no reason, I've tried to end my life so many times, I've slit my wrist, I've over dosed, Tried too drown myself. I'm just so scared of my own self I just want too know what is wrong with me. I have a friend who is bipolar and she's actually the same as me, Which makes me think am I Bipolar?

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cwilliams2 said on 16 April 2011

Hi, im not sure if I have bipolar. No-one in my family as far as I know has had problems with bipolar which is why im worried. Ive been getting very low lately, and feeling alone all the time, and not wanting to do anything productive in the day. I get up in the morning and think about what im going to do, I have my mind set and I always ending up saying I will do it later and never do it. One minute im so hyper and in such a good modd and the next im on such a low and feel on my own and lonely. I feel I need someone to look after me. I cry myself to sleep at nights and usually go to sleep very late and get up very early. Its only recently ive been feeling like this. Im so worried about my exams that are coming up and feel nothing is going on my head and I cant concentrate. Everything is worrying me. I havent had a good night sleep in weeks, and feel I cant talk to anyone about this. Im very worried as I keep thinking if I was going to kill myself how would I do it. Ive never tried to kill myself before but ive wondered how I would do it. I really need help but I feel I cant talk to my parents or friends. Any advice would be extreamely helpful. Thank you. Would really appreciate any adive.

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STEPHYKINS said on 10 April 2011

Can anyone help me ive been experiencing really low moods and alot of depression as of recent because i was on a high for a while whilst i was working i quit my job because of my mixed moods and because i was to stressed and cause of severe back and foot pain ive been experiencing high and low moods for years now and i have been trying to ignore them hoping they will go away my mum has said she thinks i may have bi polar cause she has it I have spoke to my GP and as lovely as what she was i dont think she truely understands she prescribed me chlomprine 20mg-i think i may have spelled it wrong she reffered me to a phycoligist in January and ive heard nothing back yet im starting to think there never gona get back to me im 20 and i have a good partner and a lovely 2 year old son and i feel like i can mention my feelings to my partner but i dont want to be putting my troubles on him or if i talk to my mum i dont want to be making her life worst and i feel like if i go back to my GP cause they might think im a bad mum i want to feel ok and these mood changes are really effecting me and i want to feel normal again can anyone help me please!!

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misunderstood angel said on 10 April 2011

I find it heart breaking to read some of these comments. I have suffered with horrendous mood swings most of my life. After my husband disappered when I was seven months preganant with my second child I decided I had to seek help through my GP for my children. It has taken almost three years to find a suitable method of controling my Bipolar in a fasion. I say in a fashion but I think I would be dead if it wasn't for my medication. The medication is Lamotrigine. I take 400mgs a day and it has changed my life to a degree that I never imagined. I had abused precription medication, mainly Opiates and Benzodizapines for about ten years previous to this in order to try and manage my mood swings. Being a Terminal Care Nurse made in easy to get hold of. However I kept increasing the dose and managed two crash two cars, destroy the great relationship I had with my family and loose my job. However things have turned around for me now and I am so grateful to the Psychiatrist who got me better. And I am better, life is good and I am looking to the future, planning ahead, something I never envisaged. The point of my message is to give hope to anybody suffering this soul destroying disease which can destroy good peoples lives. I wish you all luck, support from a good Health Professional and medication that changes your life like mine.

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KatieMichelle said on 08 April 2011

Im 16 soon to be 17 and i am undergoing observations at the mental health clinic to confirm that i have Bi-polar 1 dissorder. I have manic episodes and major depressive moods. When in a minic episode i find it hard to define the real world from whats in my head. I take stupid risks and feel out of control or as if im having an outer body experience. It's as if im watching my self do things and knowing i should'nt be but not having the strength to stop myself. When im depresssed i dont have the energy to get out of bed and can lie in bed with the curtains closed doing nothing but stare at the ceiling for days at a time. I find this hard to deal with and very lonely as i dont nknow anyone else with this condition.

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aquarius35 said on 01 March 2011

im very confused as to why i behave the way i do sumtimes, iv suffered depression most of my life and over the last 10 years it has became worse, after a violent, abusive marriage i found myself drinking, taking drugs and having sex with any1 but over the last 5 years its got worse still, my mood changes dramatically from 1 min to the next i can feel on top of the world for a few days with the slightest thing making me feel excited and then depression kicks in and i find it impossible to deal with anything which is a big problem because im married again with 3 children to look after and i go to college full time, iv been on antidepressants for a long time but jus feel like they do nothing for me because what i feel is so much more than depression. i wouldnt say i spend alot of money when feeling on a high i tend to feel the need to flirt and have sex with complete strangers instead no matter how they look or how old they are but when im feeling on a low the guilt overwhelms me and i feel disgusted with myself because when im on a low the thought of sex makes me feel physically sick, i feel like jeykll n hyde and even though i do manage to keep alot hidden from my family i dont know how much longer i can live like this because i love my husband and kids and dont want to be like this anymore.

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midnight fairie said on 09 February 2011

ive spoke to mental health couldnt wait for them to get in touch with me.things are starting togo downhill the racing thoughts,panicking,impulsive buying and terrible bouts of depression for no reason.it felt such a relief to talk and not be judged im so embarrased and ashamed to ive let myself and loved ones down,im meant to b the strong one how good have i been to keep these feelings in and carry on.now ive realised theres something else im not just odd or a recluse like my family have always thought .dreading but relieved that ive spoke out and maybe one day that wierd recluse will be a dark shadow of my past.is it so wrong to just want to b normal i dnt want no lottery win just to get up and not feel like breathing or going out on a high and spending get drunk then realising i need to b home its a nightmare that i want to wake up from.i want to b normal

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midnight fairie said on 31 January 2011

dont know where to start.from being a child my life has been an emotional rollercoaster.my mam was an alcoholic i wasnt wanted ive lived through abuse,domesticviolence,rape,drugs,incest,murder and thats just skimming the surface.im so pleased i found this site now i know this is not meant to b my life.ive suffered depression all my life and am currently taking antidepressents but the panic and self loathing are coming back.after yrs of lying to myself and others ive finally gone to my gp and been honest and have been referred to mental health team.i thought my life was meant to b this way ive selfharmed,took cocaine,drank,wanted to write a novel,refused to get washed or gfo out for long periods my wardrobe cant taka anymore bags,shoes,clothes i need them cant afford them then dont understend why i have them.i need to conquer this i have a wonderful partner who puts up with so much then half the time i dont want him or need him then other times panic when hes not there.its mad bec i have addictions for months then just sort of come out of this dream like state and stop and not b bothered but also not understand why i don e any of it.i also have a beautiful daughter who thinks her mam is always bad at times i take her all over then at min everything is left to my partner i refuse to let it make me miss time with my daughter i love them both and they deserve a better me i desreve a better life.

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angelie94 said on 04 January 2011

can someone please help me?

i'm sixteen, indian origin relatively normal, aside from the fact that i do have very extreme mood swings, sometimes lasting for weeks or months on end - just of either a high or a low. With this- especially on a 'high' often comes mild hallucinations like images or noises. I've been to my GP who noticed self-harm marks and referred me to a adolescent psychiatrist, who so far has not done anyting, just 'prescribed' a course of psychotherapy; which doesn't do anything, but either intensify confusion and anxiety, or patronizes me. the highs are worse than the lows, because i hardly ever actually know what im doing, and this leads to shocking realizations such as spending excessively, etc.

any advice?

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far_away_girl said on 28 December 2010

I think I might have bipolar. I scares me a bit, but not always. I think I am like dollydiamond, because I sometimes get obsessed about things being alphabtical, and think I have a super power. Once I jumped out of a tree, because I thought I could fly when I was really happy, and once I nearly drowned myself in the bath because I was depressed. I'm not just depressed though, sometimes I'm really happy and stupid, then upset. When I'm happy, I sometimes go for over a week without sleeping, but I don't feel tired. When I'm depressed, I can't sleep but wake up hours later than usual, if I go to sleep at about four or five, I might not wake up again til two or even three. I sometimes have these even days, very occasionally, like now, when I'm OK, but still really scared because I remember what I have done in the past, and what I might do again. I nearly slit my wrists, but my best friend caught me, then later on I was horrified. When in mania though, I'm totally different, the me my friends like if it's mild, just a little louder, more optimistic, and happier than other people, but sometimes it's more severe, and I bought a hundred and twenty eight packs of grapes online out of impulse on my parents ocado account until my mum saw and stopped me. I never know why I do things, but I can't stop myself. My friend who saw my suicide attempt thinks I might have bipolar. I'm not 100% sure I agree, but maybe I do. I want the courage to tell my parents or GP, but never seem to find it. I hope I can get some help, if anyone else knows what to do, I really need some help.

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Dollydiamond said on 01 December 2010

Hey, I've been reading all the comments and think i'm related to some of them. for quite some time i have thought that i may have bipolar disorder from the mood swings i started to get late last year. i get irritated and move around constantly, one minute i'll be really happy and excited about things and being silly, and the next minute i go all quite and feel really low and wont want to talk to anyone. i have self harmed in the past, i've also lost interest in some of my favorite activities, sometimes can't be bothered to do anything and think 'what is the point?' i sleep alot!! but sometimes i sleep very little but thats only every so often. sometimes i am determined to things such as time after time i like to be abit of a clean freak. i have a bad memory, sometimes i have racing thought like if something bad has happened i would try to reverse everything to get back to how it was, if that makes sense? i also get stressed about alot of things and panic. i have also thought that i may have some sort of power, might sounds silly, but i always thought it was just my childhood kicking in or the programs i watch. so could someone tell me if there anything is wrong with me please? thanks.

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kathleeenie said on 10 October 2010

Im 18, i have had depression and counselling before, i used to self harm and had panic attacks at school. I got over it but still have periods of feeling depressed.
Recently i have noticed my moods switch very suddenly, the slightest little thing can send me crazy i almost black out and do stupid thihgs and say things without thinking. I make elaborate and detailed plans such as plans to get away, the other day i ended up in the next city and stayed there the night.This can last 10 minutes or a whole day. I keep getting like weird thoughts that i dont seem to be controlling, they fade out and then i forget what it was i was "thinking". I dont eat properly and rarely get hungry. I spoke to my mum about it earlier and she said it may be bipolar, im going to go to the doctors soon. anyone got any idea whats wrong with me? if it could be bipolar?

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Tweety1980 said on 01 October 2010

This is a message for Emilyffion - what you're describing sounds like a mild manic episode (hypomania) and it's important you tell your doctor. All they will do is make sure you get the right treatment - if you go untreated (as my mother has done for years) you could find that you'll end up having a really large manic episode and end up hospitalised for a time (which is now the case with my mother).

I know you're worried about being diagnosed with anything more serious than depression but honestly it's pretty common and you're better off getting the right treatment now to prevent a more debilitating episode later on in life which is very stressful for you and your family.

If it was a physical condition I am sure you wouldn't hesitate to go to your doctor, unfortunately there is more of a stigma with mental illness but it's really no different and requires the same medical attention early on to prevent anything escalating.

Good luck!

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emilyffion said on 28 September 2010

hello i suffer from depression but not sure if it's manic depression or just purely depression. I don't notice my highs as a threat but people around me get quite uncomftable around me, i lauh for no reason, get full of self importance, have hallucinations, i feel overjoyed, excited, amazing, talkative, important and think im some kind of superstar, i haven't told my psychiatrist this because im scared, so he thinks im just suffering from depression, i really want to be diagnosed with the right mental illness, could somebody help?

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zambia66 said on 14 September 2010

i have been diagnosed as cyclothymic. i first thought it meant 'i liked bicycles'. however i now know it is a form of bipolar.

i have experienced the extreme highs and feelings of invincibility and the subsequent extreme lows and feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing.

i've never been keen on medication but i have been using an online system that has proven very helpful indeed. it's free and i would recommend it to all:

www.moodscope.com

it's self-explanatory and simple and easy to use. i now have friends who are not bi-polar who use it too.

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SingingTheBlues said on 13 September 2010

As a Bipolar sufferer I find myself in between a rock and a hard place. If I take medication there is no quality of life - when I do not take medication at least I can have a mania phase, which is a great relief when your suffer from depression. I would not encourage anybody not to take medication or at least try it, as some Bipolars are more acute than others and it is effective. One suggestion could be cognitive behaviour therapy, which I have asked for, but was told there was a long waiting list - far easier to give out a prescription for drugs. This is a false economy you can't always have a 'quick fix' you only get out what you put in.

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noname suits said on 11 September 2010

Hi I am not sure if I have bipolar, I know I have depression and anxiety have done for years, but lately say the last few months I have been doing really stupid things, I cannot stop spending on the internet mainly I cannot be bothered with the housework, I live on my own and have done for a few years, and have been through alot of bad things and lost alot of people. I get happy if I think I might see someone or here from them one min I am high the next so low I take it out on my son,I don't eat for days on end. I sleep as much as I can in the day rather then do somthing. I am up early before the birds sing, I cry for no reason. I never see anyone I have no friends. I cannot be bothered doing the easiest of things, like make a cp of tea, if I run out of food its so what i can do with out, I also self harm. All I do is look back because I cannot see forward, their does not seem to be anything for me I am 50 and feel like I am not just on the shelf but in the cupboard as well. I have terrible thoughts that frighten me, their are times when I feel like smashing the place up, I have done it before, but only my own things, I try not to argue with my son who helps me out, but he will say somthing stupid to me and i wont speak to him or ask for anything, he will offer after we have rowed and I won't except I feel like I am going mad.

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MissLizzie said on 01 September 2010

I was recently diagnosed bipolar, and was scared

my gp told me to keep a mood diary to start monitoring my mood swings, and I went online to find one. I found Mood Panda which is a pretty site with pandas on it, and it isn't as scary as others i tried [i tried about 4 or 5!!!]

after a month on it i feel like im more in control of my emotions and can easily see where i've fluctuated

i'd really recommend a mood diary to anyone, either the one i use http://moodpanda.com or any of the others available online

i hope i will get through this

Jodi x

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xoxo said on 23 August 2010

I'm seventeen, and i think i have bipolar , my mother had it and her mother and her dad , they didn't call it that though all i ever heard was manic , anyway since a could walk and talk i had a horrable childhood most of the time and when i hit my teens i went through more horrable things , i noticed over a period of time there was something wrong with me one minute i was happy , starting writting storys , then songs, then poems, then i was intrested in acting then it jumped and i wanted to party and drink and hurt people that hurt me then i would have a period were i was calm and upset and sorry and i would have clarety that my lifestyle isnt right , this past year i fell in love pushed that person away because of my irrational mood swings and behaviour , lost the respect of my family , constantly felt like i dont belong anywere and i dont know how to handle any of this or what to do all i want to do is drink my stash of alcohol but then i know i find something in me that tells me not to that i need help but i'm afraid i'm already alone with noone to talk to and I never wanted to be like my mum but i feel like i cant stop myself from doing what i'm doing is this bipolar?

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jennimay123 said on 18 August 2010

Hi, I have been researching bipolar for a few weeks now as i realy think i may have the disorder. I dont want to go to my doctor about it just yet, as they have just stuck me on low anti-depressants and not acctepted that i am depressed until the mental health crisis team wrote her a letter. I was wondering if anyone could email me and just chat to me about it, as i read 'DB07's' comment and can relate to what she's saying. Each time i have been to the doctors ive had to try and prove that i am depressed, and one doctors told me that i am obviously depressed if i can have joy in what i am doing. I find myself being happy for a couple of weeks, arranging trips away and things to do, going shopping, having obsessions with certian things, and getting on with my boyfriend well and talk to my freinds, then other days i will pick arguements over anything and do anything to get out of my head, screaming, pulling my hair, self harm, making my self sick. my apetite varies from hardley anything each day, often not eating u ntil 3 in the afternoon, to constanley eating throughout the day even if i am full from my last meal. i would really appreciate all your help and advice. thank you.

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Nia001 said on 07 August 2010

If you are struggling with your bipolar life please read this: I have had bipolar for 12 years. I have had 3 full blown episodes, 2 of which I had to be hospitalised for. (I was in a secure psyche unit for two then four months.) I have not had an episode for 7 years. I’m living proof that bipolar does not have to beat you. Taking the meds used to really bug and frustrate me. Every night was a reminder of my condition, the stupid things I get up to when I’m manic and the fact that I was different to everyone else. The two times I came off my meds resulted in me unwittingly putting my life in danger and then being carted off to the asylum. Without lithium I have no life.If I was born in the Victorian era I would be permanently locked up. My hands shake a bit and I need my sleep more than most. I have a full time job and I am able to go out with my friends. My life is not always sunshine and roses but I am trying to live one and that’s the point. My medications work for me. They prevent the highs and the crippling lows and in that way I am lucky. Doctors are good but when it comes to bipolar, psychiatrists are better. If you are not happy with the meds you are on talk to them. If you are really not happy ask to speak to another consultant. Please check out MDF- the bipolar organisation for useful information on the disorder. It is so important to have the right medication Sleep is also absolutely pivotal to being well. Only my family and two of my friends know about my illness because they have seen it and I think that is another reason why I have stayed well for seven years.If you haven’t experienced the highs and lows and the madness of bipolar, you will never know. Even when I am well I sometimes I get down to the point that the fight I give doesn’t always seem worth it. No one knows the future, you can just do your best. BUT you know what bipolar disorder? I am putting everything I have into forging a life for myself and I will be damned if I ever let you win.

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valentine the destroyer said on 13 July 2010

actually i find the worst thing about having manic depression is the meds.
its been around for ages, how about some meds that dont make you sleepy, lactate, put on weight etc etc
who wants to be fat and leaking and depressed?
seriously.

sorry, im tired and fed up of doctors wanting me to be depressed because im much easier to deal with.

i hate all the pills and the fact that pills are consistently all that i am offered apart from CBT which is less than useless.

sorry, that turned into a bit of a rant.

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cren said on 09 July 2010

i have this condition a hundred percent,i first realised from an early age my moods would swing from extreme over hyperactivity to not wanting to leave my bedroom.Over the years i have had a few relationships and destroyed them all.I am extremely selfish and would reduce partners to tears for no reason.It has come to the point now where i have lost everything including my children because of my behavier.When im having a hyper day i feel like theres nothing i cant do,,the closest feeling would probably be cocaine x1000,and i convince myself i am the greatest peron in the world,,then the next day ill be the opposite and feel worthless and not want to have contact with anyone,i really cant go on like this and i am sick of hurting everyone around me and myself and i am constantly thinking of suicide when im down,,i really need help for this,as i think my life wont last much longer if something isnt done soon,,does anyone have any advice for me please thanku

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harrassedmum said on 01 July 2010

I am concerned about my 25 year old daughter. She told me she has been to the mental health clinic and has been told that they think she is bi-polar. They told her to take the anti-depressants and they will send her a further appointment.

i know she had depression and that is why i got her to come back home as she was in London (she had completed four years at UNI and got her degree) since Uni she has only worked for six months and contantly says she is depressed or has knee cartilage problems.

Since being home she has not worked and it was me that told her to see the doctor about the depression.
She has become friendly with a girl that is an ex heroin user and who is seven months pregnant, from what i gather they smoke cannabis and drink a fair bit, and my daughter does a lot for the girls child as he is only nine.
Also my daughter stays at the girls house on a regular basis and she sees one or two men that take her out to dinner etc,
I told my daughter that i do not think she is bi-polar, I told her to tell the mental health team that she has a cannabis smoking problem but my daughter got argumentive with me and said that cannabis cannot give you mental health problems.
I am not coping with the saga of her mental health issues as i know she attends to the other girls child and helps him with homework also she attends all the baby scans with the girl and the appointments as she has to be monitored as she was an ex-user. I feel that my daughter should be attending to her own health and telling the truth to the mental health team and perhaps then she would get a correct diagnosis of her condition. I cannot get involved as she is an adult and can refer herself to wherever she likes but i am fed up with hearing about this bi-polar disorder when she smokes cannabis and consumes alcohol on a regular basis

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Livi71 said on 03 June 2010

I have been diagnosed as having mixed affective bipolar disorder and it has ruined my life. For many years I was simply down as having depression until a manic episode landed me in hospital against my will of course. I don't believe I have or will ever accept it as I see it as a weakness, I hurt so many people especially those I love, not by saying nasty things but simply by either being in a depressed state or a state where my empathy skills are non existent. I recently started lithium which does seem to be working more so than the depakote and quetiapine combo...still on the depakote and abilify though. Anyone who thinks they are bipolar keep a diary and find a good psychiatrist.........it took years before I found one who listened, thank goodness my old psych retired.

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elddis said on 31 May 2010

for years i have suffered mood swings to the cost of numerous relationships.my latest one has just ended.i always thought i was right when irritated but now realise not.when i am "down" there is no reasoning with me but when i am "high" well my credit card tells that story.i am going to the doctors tomorrow and will tell him/her all i can and hope they can help me as i dont want to spend the rest of my life alone because of this

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secretk said on 27 May 2010

Today I have been to see yet another councillor probably the best I have been to and that’s saying something since I have been on and off anti depressants since I was sixteen and im now 40!!!!!:) I was diagnosed with Bipolar about 7 years ago what a relief to find an explanation for my strange behaviour (thought I was going mad lol) trouble now is everyone is trying to fix me! Make me normal! Control me! Seems to me that it’s as much of a problem to everyone else as it is to me.
When Im happy everyone loves me and when im not they can all go away. I hate taking my meds I don’t feel like me I want my highs have a laugh be spontaneous female behaving badly etc :).
Problem is what follow the euphoria down, down, down the end is nigh; and I want that even less so I guess ill just keep taking my meds :(

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mobileh60 said on 26 May 2010

Is there any help at all for relatives of people with this condition

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Summer9910 said on 11 May 2010

I have recently been diagnosed Bipolar and finally years of craziness finally makes sense.

I love the highs the condition brings but apparently my family and friends view this very differently and have told me I behave totally irrationally.

I have started on some new drugs, including an anti-psychotic, so looks like my life and personality will be changing, I'll miss the old me, we've been together for as long as I can remember.

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topsyturvey said on 17 April 2010

it takes along time for a diagnosis of bipolar to be made and it usually comes from a phyciatrist. I too think i may have bipolar of some kind and have had mood swings from about when i was 20 ish i am now 47 and because i have only been to the doctors when depressed it has never been picked up on i am under a phyciatrist now and have been perscribed depakote to try and balance my mood swings i also keep a mood diary but have looked long and hard into my past and realised i have had the hyper moods causing misery for others and severe debt i am still waiting for a diagnosis. it isn't a nice disorder it can feel great when i am on a high mood shal we say but i always come crashing back down and thats what i hate also the high moods can turn nasty i can't sleep am very agigitated restless argumentative and enjoy and take pleasure in hurting people closest to me

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cyril85 said on 17 April 2010

for the last 20 years i have suffered from sever mood swings and in some of the cases been violent. i suffer from severe jealousy directed at my wife for no reason and reduce her to tears for nothing at all. during our marriage she said that i was like living with jekyl & hyde as no-one ever knew what kind of mood i would be in from day to day. my wife and i have now seperated due to mainly my moods, an affair i had which to this day cannot understand why i did as my wife 7 i at the time were good. i promise the world to everyone & then sometimes don't even bother talking to the same people. i am now on the verge of losing everything in my life that is important and finally realise that i have a problem as i have always thought i was fine and normal. i really need help in understanding what is wrong 7 to work out how to control the severe mood swings and hopefully sort myself out before it is to late. can you please tell me how to deal with this or what steps to take next.

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TITANSMRS said on 14 April 2010

I also think i may be bypolar. I do have autism and my friendships NEVER last and they allways say that i am feling sorry for myself and i am never happy with anything. I remember having an agressive eppisode in my bathroom where i was VERY destructive. I do not remember any of it all i do remember is coming round and there being an abselute mess in my bathroom. I remember the crying thats it and wanting to take my own life. I nerly jumped out of my bedroom window. Please if anyone here knows if i have it or not inform me so i can seek help before things get worse for me.

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Caspar said on 14 April 2010

Dear User448826,
we can't offer medical advice via the comments section, but please consider calling NHS Direct on 0845 46 47 who can give you more specific pointers. Alternatively have a look at the 'External links' listed next to the article above which include Mind http://www.mind.org.uk/ and the Depression Alliance http://www.depressionalliance.org/docs/help/what_is_depression.html

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User448826 said on 13 April 2010

I have suffered from depression for over fives years now and have had prescriptions after prescriptions for anti depressents, yet its never got any better, only having read into bipola am i concerened i might be, i never new about the manic side and confused it for "feeling/getting" better although with in days im yet again considering suiside. my family tell me that even when im happy i scear them because its not a normal happy, i struggle to stay in one place for too long and stay around the same people, im so happy that its uncontrolable i have no respect for my self or for anyone else, and im so sad no one can fix it, i blame everyone and my past, i become angry and scream at everyone have thoughts that terrifie me, i go to the complete extream untill im left with nothing, and then within a day am fine again and carnt understand why people carnt just let it go, forget about it. i constantly look for attention from anyone good or bad looking, old or young and have in the past have even looked for it in the same sex as myself to spite knowing im not gay or would ever be, mainly strangers. i could go on and on about a million other things i do that i carnt explain or justify but for now would just appreciate some advice of anyone that could help me. thanks.

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DB07 said on 04 April 2010

What should I do if the health care professionals I see fail to accept that I'm bi-polar? I went to see a local GP last week and she made me feel like I was lying to her about my condition for some reason. Why would anyone pretend that they are bi-polar? Why did I come out feeling that I somehow needed to convince her that I was bi-polar?

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emac24 said on 13 February 2010

I am very concerned that my friend is bipolar, her mother is and she'd be horrified that i think she is too. She seems to be really low and has been for around a year, everything is negative and its everyones elses fault, she seems quite aggresively angry and intense all the time, ,her speech pattern is very rapid and she fires off hissed statements instead of having a conversation. Its affecting her little one as well who appears too afraid of disapproval to leave her mothers side. I don't know how to broach the subject with her or her husband (who is also a very good friend) She is pregnant again and i don't think she's coping at all. Any ideas or anyone else who's had a similar problem please can you tell me how you dealt with this.

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