Sex over 60 

Sex doesn’t stop when you’re 60. A sexual psychotherapist talks about sexual relationships once you’re in your 60s, how the body changes and why sex can be better than ever.

More guidance on good sex

Transcript of Sex over 60

Some people don't even like sex when they're young, never mind about 60.

The most important thing to remember

is that sex doesn't stop when you get to 60.

Sex isn't just for young, beautiful, healthy, active people.

Sexual expression is important for all of us.

I'm now 61 and I've got an 18-year-old son

and when I got pregnant with him, my other children turned round and said,

"Didn't think you did that sort of thing any more, Mum."

I think it finishes whenever you want it to finish.

If you still enjoy sex, have it.

I don't think you go out for a one-night stand.

Have you seen my age group, what they look like? No, thank you.

(laughs)

With all the creaking of the bones and things like that,

it's not as often and probably not as long,

but I don't see why you should stop.

Many older couples can begin to find it frustrating

that their body isn't working quite in the same way as it used to,

but sexual pleasure tends to change.

Even if you don't have the mobility that you used to have

or you have other health conditions,

it doesn't mean that you can't still enjoy being sexual together.

In fact, many couples actually find their sex life improves significantly

because changes in their health encourage them to be more creative.

You just walk across the room and throw your arms round his neck and love him.

Same for him, he can come up behind you and put his arm round you,

kiss your ear or kiss your neck or something.

It speaks a language of its own.

As long as somebody's there, it doesn't have to involve sex.

You can just have a cuddle and know that someone's close to you.

For some people full sexual intercourse may not be possible,

but that doesn't mean that you can't still enjoy touching each other

and stimulating each other.

If you're not in a relationship,

then just doing anything sensual, anything that involves touch,

that could be going out and getting a massage, having your hair done,

just something that allows you to really keep in touch with other people.

I feel sorry when one of your partners goes and you're really left on your own.

Find someone, even as just a companion.

You know, it's someone there, isn't it?

That keeps you well in yourself, doesn't it?

There are many health benefits for continuing to be sexually active.

We know that people who are sexually active tend to live longer,

they tend to look younger,

it improves their immunity and their general sense of fitness

and also their self-esteem.

You feel more vital, you feel...

You feel that you're alive and not shoved away on a shelf.

In many ways I'm fitter now than I was when I was in work

because it was quite a busy life,

so to some extent I'm rejuvenated in all departments.

Well, it gets better once your children leave home

because you're young again, really, with no ties or worries.

You think you'll have a few years of that way,

but as you get old you get all your aches and pains.

There's plenty of sex shops to help you out,

so if you're not embarrassed, go to a sex shop.

I think you can get just as much enjoyment out of sex

whether you're 16 or 60.

Or even 70 if you're able.

Go on, do it.

Do your thing. Whilst you can. You're a long time dead, as they say.

60's nothing now, is it? The age is nothing now.

People keep younger now than ever.

So 60, I say, "OK, have a sex life. Good luck to you."

Ratings

How helpful is this page?

Average rating

Based on 8 ratings

All ratings

Add your rating

Comments

Ask the sex doctor

Is sex safe after a heart attack? Do over-60s need to worry about STIs? Dr Anne Edwards has the answers