A healthy sex life 

A sexual psychotherapist gives advice on how to have a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship.

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Transcript of A healthy sex life

Good sex happens in good relationships.

If you want to have a really fulfilling and exciting sex life,

then the first thing you need to do

is make sure you're investing time in your relationship.

When you first start dating somebody, keep something back for a little while

and it will be really special when it happens.

We're all so rushed off our feet and stressed at work.

We never really seem to have time for our sex lives any more

and it's so damaging.

I think the work-life balance gets in the way

of a lot of couples' sex life,

and I guess there's two things you can do that can really help that.

One is to really get into the idea of having a quickie.

Sex can be really exciting, fantastic and last just five minutes.

That can be great.

Make sure you do have evenings alone.

That could be by getting the kids off to someone else's house.

But when you do have those chances, really make the most of it.

Take it slow, dress up.

Think of your partner, don't be selfish.

And try new things.

Nothing's more sexy than being spontaneous.

Don't be afraid to use humour in the bedroom.

I think things can get too serious sometimes, too mechanical.

I think if your sex life is beginning to get a bit repetitive,

what you need to do is think about how you can get a bit more creative.

That might be experimenting with different sexual positions, sexual toys.

Decide to do something different for a change.

I think, for me, enjoying sex with one person for a long time is great

because you grow with the person.

And keeping it fun is the key, definitely.

Get to know your own body better.

A lot of us don't really know what sort of things we enjoy,

what sort of touch we like

until we experiment and find out.

So next time you're in the bath, take some time, get to know your body better,

explore and then share your learnings with your partner.

Don't be embarrassed about your body.

Be comfortable with yourself

before you jump into a sexual relationship.

Anybody can enjoy sex and enjoy great sex.

The important thing is to be in a relationship where you feel safe,

a relationship where there is trust.

That way you can really lose yourself in experimentation and exploration.

In a short-term relationship it's kind of there, done, over, next.

The same with one-night stands.

In a long-term relationship you can build on foundations,

become a better person and a better couple.

Learn each other's erogenous zones,

tell them what feels good, what doesn't, be as honest as you can.

We're making up for lost time now.

- Best sex ever last night. Seriously. - Yes.

- Of my life. - It's getting good.

The bottom line is that sex is fun,

it's good for us in so many different ways.

It's good for our self-esteem, it's good for our health

and it's fantastic for relationships.

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