Many parents need a technique to provide them with a step-by-step guide to follow until they see results and a point of reference for when things go wrong.
Gurney, who runs the Millpond Children’s Sleep Clinic, which offers its services nationwide, lists the most tried-and-tested techniques to help solve your child’s sleep problems.
“Never assume a sleep problem will sort itself out,” says Gurney. “You need to resolve it quickly because the shorter the problem the quicker it can be resolved.”
Night-feed weaning
Babies and toddlers who are fed to sleep often wake up during the night and won’t go back to sleep unless they get milk. This doesn’t mean they're hungry, it’s just a habit.
The key is to break the association between feeding and falling asleep by reducing the frequency of night-time feeds or reducing the amount of milk given on each waking. You don’t need to do both.
Your baby will gradually wake less for milk and eventually give it up altogether. Night feeds shouldn't be eliminated in a baby under six months old. For babies this age who feed frequently, you should space the feeds rather than reduce them.
“It’s best if the child is already on solid foods during the day before stopping night feeds completely,” says Gurney.
“Parents may need a sleep technique to apply after weaning the baby off milk as it may still wake during the night. Gradual retreat or controlled crying (explained below) can be used."
Controlled crying
This technique teaches babies and toddlers to fall asleep independently. Abandoning them when they're crying doesn’t cause them psychological damage.
Controlled crying means checking on your child at set intervals, increasing the time between visits until they fall asleep. Put your baby in the cot and leave the room. Return after five minutes but don’t go up to the cot as this may be a distraction. The idea is not for you to get your child back to sleep but to reassure yourself and your baby that all is well.
Increase the interval between visits by five minutes each time, starting with five minutes and going up to a maximum of 15 minutes. Repeat the checking every 15 minutes until your child quietens and goes to sleep. Apply this technique at bedtime. Repeat it every time the child wakes up.
“This method can be used when there’s been a minor disruption to sleep such as an illness or a holiday,” says Gurney. “But it’s emotionally challenging as it can be very difficult for parents to hear their child crying.
“It works with infants who may be dependent on things like sucking, cradling or rocking in order to sleep. It’s not recommended for children with sleep anxiety-related issues or those under six months."
Gradual retreat
This technique involves the parent distancing themselves from the child little by little until they have gained confidence sleeping independently.
For example, if you normally sit on your child’s bed as they go to sleep at bedtime, the first step will be to move to a bedside chair. Maintain this position for three nights, then move the chair slightly further away from the bedside. Repeat this process at bedtime, until you're outside your child’s room.
Make sure your child is fully asleep before leaving the room, otherwise your tip-toeing out may wake them up.
“It’s suitable for parents concerned about their child crying,” says Gurney. “It works with children who share a bedroom or if you’re worried about noise, as it involves less crying.
“It works with babies who may be dependent on things like sucking or rocking to sleep, in cases where sleep patterns have been disrupted after an illness or holiday and with children with fears, anxiety or stress.
“It can take longer than controlled crying to be effective and it’s not always easy to know when the problem is fully resolved.”
Elimination
Parents sometimes unintentionally reward a child’s night-time waking. Rewards can be very subtle such as a quick kiss and cuddle back to sleep, tucking back in and a stroke on the head or sitting with your child as they go to sleep.
Once you’ve identified the reward decide how to withhold it. Explain to your child (if they're old enough) the new rule. Each time the behaviour is repeated, respond kindly but firmly.
Don’t give in to protests or crying. This is easier said than done. Stick with it. If you're not consistent, you risk reinforcing the behaviour and undoing all your hard work.
“This technique works quickly particularly after a minor disruption like a holiday or illness,” says Gurney. “But it can be difficult to identify the reward because it can be subtle.”
