Every family’s circumstances and needs are different, and it's a good idea to discuss your twins' options with their school.
Although 80% of schools with more than one class in a year group give parents of twins a choice of whether to separate their twins or keep them together, it is still worth discussing your options and concerns with a school before you apply.
If a school only has one class in a year group, it won't be possible to split twins. However, some single-form schools are happy to do other things to help separate twins, such as putting them into different activity groups.
Making a choice
If there is the choice of separating your twins when they start school, you have three options:
- start them together and plan for them to stay together
- separate your twins from the start
- start the twins together and then separate them later
Your decision will be based on your twins’ personalities, abilities and needs. Also, involve your twins in the decision and listen to their preferences as to whether they want to stay together or go into separate classes at school.
The Twins & Multiple Births Association (Tamba) produces a checklist on its website for its members, which can help you decide the best option for your family.
Keeping twins together
A recent survey conducted by Kings College London found that twins separated at the start of primary school had more emotional problems on average than twins who were kept together. This was particularly noticeable in identical twins.
Although not all twins were affected, and some may benefit from separation, it's important to take into account the personalities of your children when making your decision. It's also important to discuss your children’s wishes with them and ensure that these are taken into account when you make a decision.
The benefits of keeping twins together at school include:
- Twins often settle faster in school if they're kept together. If they like being together, there are definite advantages to keeping them in the same class.
- Twins who don't want to be separated will suffer if they're forced apart. This may make them more dependent on each other.
- If twins are highly dependent and would be distressed to be separated, it's better to keep them together.
- Twins tend to be competitive. If this becomes excessive, it makes sense to separate them, but a mild rivalry can provide stimulation.
Separating twins
Around one-third of twins are currently separated in school. Advice from Tamba and the Multiple Births Foundation says that the benefits of this can include:
- recognising the wishes of multiples who may want to be separated
- if one child is markedly more able, either socially or academically, than the other, separation can reduce the risk of comparisons and competition between the two
- multiples may display disruptive behaviour when they're together
- if the children are too dependent on each other and are not separated, they may find it hard to mix with and relate to other children
- if they're in the same class, twins often strive to be the same, which can mean a more able twin underachieves, while the less able twin struggles to keep up
- twins, particularly if they're identical, can use their status to confuse teachers and entertain other children, but this can be distracting and disruptive
- in boy and girl twins, the girl twin will tend to develop faster and this can lead to "mothering" behaviour, which may harm the boy’s relationship with his peers
If you decide to separate your twins, Tamba offers the following tips to help prepare them for being apart at school:
- discuss the separation with your twins
- take them on separate outings
- choose different pre-school sessions and activities
- take them on separate visits to their new school
- allow them to spend time apart with grandparents
- talk to teachers about allowing separated twins to have some contact during the day
Delayed separation
If you choose to delay separation, it must be carefully timed to take place at a time when a change would occur anyway, such as the end of a school year, otherwise one twin will remain with the same friends and teacher, while the other may feel rejected as he or she is separated into a new environment.
For more information on multiples at school, see Tamba’s Twins, Triplets and More: the Primary School Years, which is free to members and £5 for non-members, or the Multiple Births Foundation's The First Five Years and Beyond, which is £7.99 and available from its website.
