Clinical depression 

Introduction 

Depression and low mood (BSL version)

In this video, an expert describes the various levels of depression, the early warning signs and the treatments available.

Media last reviewed: 30/09/2013

Next review due: 30/09/2015

Mental health and pregnancy

Find out who is more at risk of mental health problems and were you can go for help

Find out how your local NHS manages depression care

Depression is more than simply feeling unhappy or fed up for a few days.

We all go through spells of feeling down, but when you're depressed you feel persistently sad for weeks or months, rather than just a few days.

Some people still think that depression is trivial and not a genuine health condition. They're wrong. Depression is a real illness with real symptoms, and it's not a sign of weakness or something you can "snap out of" by "pulling yourself together".

The good news is that with the right treatment and support, most people can make a full recovery.

How to tell if you have depression

Depression affects people in different ways and can cause a wide variety of symptoms.

They range from lasting feelings of sadness and hopelessness, to losing interest in the things you used to enjoy and feeling very tearful. Many people with depression also have symptoms of anxiety.

There can be physical symptoms too, such as feeling constantly tired, sleeping badly, having no appetite or sex drive, and complaining of various aches and pains.

The severity of the symptoms can vary. At its mildest, you may simply feel persistently low in spirit, while at its most severe depression can make you feel suicidal and that life is no longer worth living.

For a more detailed list, read more about the symptoms of depression

Most people experience feelings of stress, sadness or anxiety during difficult times. A low mood may improve after a short time, rather than being a sign of depression. Read more information about low mood and depression.

When to see a doctor

It's important to seek help from your GP if you think you may be depressed.

If you've been feeling low for more than a few days, take this short test to find out if you're depressed.

Many people wait a long time before seeking help for depression, but it's best not to delay. The sooner you see a doctor, the sooner you can be on the way to recovery.

Sometimes there is a trigger for depression. Life-changing events, such as bereavement, losing your job or even having a baby, can bring it on. 

People with a family history of depression are also more likely to experience it themselves.

But you can also become depressed for no obvious reason.

Find out more about the causes of depression.

Depression is quite common and affects about one in 10 of us at some point. It affects men and women, young and old.

Depression can also strike children. Studies have shown that about 4% of children aged five to 16 in the UK are affected by depression.

Treatment

Treatment for depression involves either medication or talking treatments, or usually a combination of the two. The kind of treatment that your doctor recommends will be based on the type of depression you have.

Read more about the treatment of depression.

Living with depression

Many people with depression benefit by making lifestyle changes such as getting more exercise, cutting down on alcohol and eating more healthily. 

Self-help measures such as reading a self-help book or joining a support group are also worthwhile.

Find out more about how self-help and improving your lifestyle can help you beat depression.

You can read other people's experience of depression in our comments section below.




Page last reviewed: 22/08/2012

Next review due: 22/08/2014

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The 273 comments posted are personal views. Any information they give has not been checked and may not be accurate.

PixieSal said on 28 June 2014

I am 21 years old and had stages of happiness and sadness for about 5/6 years. My childhood until I was 11 was very troublesome. My mother is an alcoholic and my childhood was spent locked indoors and in dark rooms, made to think that I have autism. My clothes were old and uniform was never bought for school so I wore short clothes so my school life suffered. My mum would get so drunk she would sware at me, eventually she would kick or pull my hair.

I moved out at 11 into my dads and step mums, they have gave me the absolute world however I just can't seem to accept it. And they suffer because of my sadness, I rarely see my mum as it's as if she lives in her own world and on a cave.

Being 21 I want it to be the best years of my life and I want to enjoy it but I let so many things worry me and get in the way. I've lost my motivation and although I do not think about my past. I know it's there somewhere, the people around me are suffering because they feel they cannot help me. I get so upset by people rejecting me, and I don't like to be alone too much, I like to be around people. I want to learn to like myself. I've tried councelling twice just expensive to keep up with. Tried exercising daily, it's ok for a while.

I'm lost too, seems like I've tried everything. . .

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AbbieAbbz said on 19 June 2014

Hi, i'm 21 years old. I have suffered from depression since I was 12. I had a fall & nearly died, I had to have my spleen removed, At the time i thought thank god i'm alive. Truth is, I didn't know, it was the start of something huge. I had to rest up for 6 months, staring at a massive scar going down my stomach. Most people say, "oh it's nothing" but to me it meant i'd never be like anyone else, i could never wear a bikini again, i was this young girl.. That felt insecure & empty. My mum had just had a baby & suffered from post natal depression, my dad was always working & my older brother had drug & alcohol problem. I felt like i had no one. Then when i was 16 i met what i thought was the love of my life, in the beginning everything was amazing, i felt wanted, something i hadn't felt in a long time. But everything turned, 8months in to the relationship, he started calling me fat, ugly, all the names under the sun, then followed to physical abuse. I ended up turning to drugs to lose weight & in three months, i went from 10 stone to 6 stone. I dont know how, but i managed to fall pregnant with my first baby around 10 months in to the relationship, i was so happy, i thought this would change him & we would be a perfect family.. Boy was i wrong. 4 months into the pregnancy, he punched me in the stomach. I lost my baby & not a day goes by where i don't blame myself. I should of got out of the relationship and saved my baby. But it was to late. I now have problems and i don't yet know if i cant have kids. This has made my depression 10x worse. I left him after 2 years of being with him, but losing him, meant being lonely again. Thinking i had my family, but i didn't, they were to busy with other things. Eventually last year i went to my doctor & i broke down. They gave me anti-depressants, but all i have off people is, they dont help, only you can help youself.

Lately things have got worse, i'm lost.
What do i do?

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AR Wilson said on 03 June 2014

I started my own blog about my battle with depression and anxiety - http://frommymindtoyourthoughts.blogspot.co.uk

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User843481 said on 28 May 2014

I am 22 and went to my GP at 18. I was severely depressed almost to the point of being unable to speak and move it was extremely frightening. I felt so incredibly low. Stopped sleeping and eating. Was offered drugs (That made me worse - these things should be supervised, not just handed out like sweets, they really have the potential to mess people up big style). Having said that I can honestly say it makes the world of difference having an understanding GP who doesn't feign concern and who is genuinely interested in trying to get you help (It's not their fault that the help they refer you to is crap). My GP is very good and I feel lucky I have one who isn't dismissive or rude.

He got me an urgent referral to see some people at a CMHT their service was abysmal and instrumental in a further breakdown. My next breakdown was spectacularly bad, I ended up floridly psychotic and now have a paranoid schizophrenia diagnosis. I think that therapy can be good but what is offered at the moment is not fit for purpose. A&E if you are feeling suicidal is even worse, I went there when I was really skinny, covered in burns from harming myself and basically a complete wreck and they sent me away and back to the useless CMHT. I nearly succeeded in ending my life shortly after this.

I'd say they need Early Intervention teams like they have for psychosis, also set up for people with clinical depression. Good emotional support, talking therapies, practical and social support, and sometimes drugs that aren't just standard SSRI's can be helpful for more complex cases.

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kimsu88 said on 14 May 2014

Stupot, I totally agree with your comments regarding the GPS lack of care options people with depression. You're not alone! Im 26 and I have had depression for 4 years as I was bullied at uni. Just today my gp told me that my only option is to take medication for 2 years, then and only then will they consider any other treatment. Im a young women and thoses types of tablet make it impossible for me to go out into the world and function. I can't go to work and I am self reliant. My family is not wealthy and they cannot afford to support me while I spend the next two years catatonic. I keep losing my jobs because employers have not been sympathic and therefore I'm in debt to the tune of 15k. If I lose my job, than I will most likely be made homeless due to this mental illness and end up on the streets. Chugging down citilopram, isnt going to help. I have tried desperately to explain this to the go but his attitude was entirely dismissive. He basically told me it wasn't his problem and I should go to my mp if I didn't like it. Gave me a leaflet on stress (ha ha) and told me to get lost.

I have tried everything to get the help I'm entitled to on the NHS but they will not do it ! They do not provide the Cbt..therefore i am putting myself in more debt to see a private practioner but if I don't I don't know what will happen to me.

Hopefully, I will get better and when I do I will making a serious complaint about the lack of duty of care that these drs have. I have been back and forth to the drs and they have made it worse. I've been insulted many times and treated like overemotional silly girl despite the fact that I was studying at masters level when my depression was triggered.

I hope your wife feels better. Its so nice to see another get family support. I hope that you are also coping, it can be hard living with someone with depression especially when you watching them suffer. I hope that you both get the support you need going forward.

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ryannn said on 13 May 2014

hi am 20 yr old and i have felt very low since i was 17! i dont know why am sad and unhappy. i cant do things for myself in the real world i always need my mum to help me i cant even go the dentist on my own i get very scared at doing things like that i feel like a joke am even scared to apply for jobs on my own i cant even ring the doctors because am scared and i dont know why. i have zero motivation. i always sit in my room crying everynight i dont know what to do with my self am to scared to get up and do anything for myself. nobody even gets me. iv told my mum how i feel but nothing changes i feel like am getting nowhere. my mum n dad are split up n i feel like i cant tell my dad because my mum might get in a bad mood with me. am just so scared right now i just need help. i tell myself that i hate myself n my life everyday. am also very paranoid about my looks i hate going out but this may seem a bit silly but i hate going incase people laugh at me or what am wearing. all i want to do in life is make my mum proud of me. i dont have anybody else to talk to i used to have friends but i drifed myself from them because i was on para all the time.

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Cherry 74 said on 12 May 2014

I have suffered with depression on and of for a number of years since the age of about 15 years. My daughter who is 14 years has now been diagnosed with depression and is on medication and receiving support from CAMHS. I have also been suffering with stress, anxiety and depression over the past 6 months, which I believe is due to stress at home and work. Although this is a difficult time for me and my daughter I want to tell people that it does and can get better. Mostly I manage well, but with bouts of depression, which vary from a few months to a few years. I would rather the depression would stay away but unfortunately it comes back at times of stress or difficulty and there are times when I can't get out of bed and just want to cry. But I know how to deal with this now, I accept the medication when needed and try to take care of myself, healthy diet, lots of sleep and I try to get out of the house as much as i can. It also helps to talk to someone who has an understanding of what you are going through. If you are given medication that doesn't suit you ask to try another. Depression is hard to come through and for some it is harder than others but my story is that by being strong you can live with and manage depression. I hope my comments are helpful to some of you.

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Siobhan96 said on 10 May 2014

It is so nice to see that I'm not the only one that feels like this.I'm a 17yr old female and have only known to be suffering from depression and anxiety for the past 6 months and it's so hard I have been through a hell of a lot in my childhood. I have no family or friends only my long term boyfriend but I push him away and he doesn't really understand this illness I quite college due to this and have no motivation to do literally anything I do get suicidal thoughts quite often I won't go into my feelings too much as I don't like to talk about this I have my first GP appoinment next week and I'm so scared. Does this illness ever go away do you ever go back to normal?

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Stupot1968 said on 29 April 2014

I understand that these 'rough' guidelines can give an indication of whether an individual is depressed or just feeling 'a bit down'? But my wife has suffered from severe depression for years, even trying to end it all at the very young age of 14, where she was told by the so called professionals to 'be a good girl and don't do it again, as you have a nice family' with no further counselling! We have had more success with self help books and briefly attending B-eat counselling as with many there is a connection with an eating disorder, while funding allowed. Now at 46 years of age she take it one day at a time, as the GP's only option considered is to drug her up to the extent that she could not function. Sorry to rant, but sometimes I feel that the NHS has badly let her down. And sometimes ( but not all people) it would be far more successful and cost effective to find and treat the cause rather than masking the symptoms with drugs,

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JimDon said on 22 April 2014

For anyone suffering with depression wanting advice/help I'd recommend going to the depression forum links above to "HealthUnlocked.com" & go to the "Action On Depression" group. It can be quicker & easier to get answers and can be a help.

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AshleighMegan said on 22 April 2014

When I tell people I am on antidepressants and suffer with depression they say but your 20 pull your self together. But people don't understand it isn't that easy, 2 years ago 8 days before my 18th birthday my boyfriend beat me up, the whole time that was happen I felt I deserved it and I should just take the beating. A month or two after was when I noticed something wrong with me I could barely sleep, I was surviving on chocolate and you only had to look at me a second to long for me to bite your head off, I remember being in a shop and I saw someone I used to know and she was staring and that was it I just saw red I was screaming shouting and I wasn't me anymore, I was never an angry person, I didn't even recognise me anymore but I loved the feeling I had after I was shouting at her I needed that to let my anger out and then it became a regular thing after that, I was just an angry little girl and I didn't no how to cope with it and then it just became worse there were days I couldn't even bear to get out of bed all I wanted to do was cry, I felt worthless and I wouldn't talk to anyone I just lay in my bed and cried, I new what was wrong with me I just didn't want to admit it I thought I could handle it myself and I'd just snap out of it. Then it started to affect my work life, I'd sit at work and cry on the bathroom floor because someone asked how I was, I'd start fights for no reason, and it was like I was invisible in a place where there was hundreds of people I was screaming but no one was hearing me. I'd been to counsellors numerous times before for numerous reasons and I didn't feel like they helped me, they made me worse and more depressed to go other all the things that happened in my childhood. I still have very dark days and yeah I don't no how to cope I just take it one day at a time, but for me my coping mechanism is talking to my best friend, we sit and eat chocolate, she takes my mind off it and it helps or we go for a walk, but it does get better

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Harbor2001 said on 16 April 2014

I have been sad/angry and been suffering from anxiety for roughly 5 months now. It all started on Christmas Day when my sister got hospitalised because of an eating disorder. She was in hospital for about a week and got released on New Year's Eve. I was so angry. I was angry about them ruining my Christmas, my Boxing Day, my New Years Eve. A couple of weeks later it turned to sadness. I was lonely. I still am. How come when I'm in a crowded room I feel so alone? I shut myself in my room for days on end. It didn't help that I had to leave my former secondary school to go to another. I would spend hours contemplating life. Thinking about who I was and what my future be. I wouldn't talk to people. And then that's when the insecurities came in. I told myself I was fat and that I was ugly. I told myself not to eat. The next thing I tell you is something that I'm ashamed of but I still somehow want to do it again. I tried cutting. I got a razor and cut. After two strokes I couldn't do it again so I turned to scratching my arm till it bled. I covered it up. I used to always role my sleeves up at school, until i started cutting and then I rolled them down. I sometimes think about what it would be like if I wasn't alive. About how people would feel. Would they miss me? Would they cry? I turned to reading, but it just makes me more sad. How come everyone seems to have a happily ever after and I don't? So it's been 5 months now. 5 months till my world turned upside down. My sister has got better, and I feel like know one cares about me. I don't care about myself. I'm useless. Nobody needs me. I can't tell my parents. I can't tell my siblings. I can't tell anyone. I was so close to telling my best friend but then I realised, there's no point because nobody cares. I don't know what to do. I hate myself and I hate everyone around me. I'm so tired all the time and when I try to sleep, I can't. I'm sorry that this is so long and I thank you for having the patients for reading this

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SLollypopW said on 04 April 2014

This is the first time ive spoke about this so please bare with me as i try to explain, i have been feeling incredibly down, sad, lonely for a good 7/8 months now, i have lost interest in everything, i use to be a party girl, now i barely make it out of bed and when i do i have no energy, i cant sleep because it feels like my thoughts are nibbling away at my brain. The strangest thing was the other night i was laughing, and my laughter randomly turned into me crying my eyes out (sad tears). When i cry its almost like my brain tells me or reminds me of other things i should be crying about and i start crying all over again.. I don't know if this is depression or if its just high emotions? My mother has depression, but what im going through doesn't seem to be the same as her symptoms? Can someone please help

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SLollypopW said on 04 April 2014

I have never spoke to anyone about this before partly because im not sure if im just emotional or if there is something wrong with me. Since my dad passed away ive felt low, but i thought that was just part of grieving, but that was almost four years ago and surely i should have got over it and stopped grieving by now? I get these days where its hard to even get out of bed, and i have this constant empty, lonely feeling, even though im always surrounded by my family. I cry randomly, i almost always cry when in alone for no reason, then when the crying starts all these little things start to nibble away at me. The other night i was in the middle of laughing and it suddenly turned into floods of tears (sad tears) i just don't know what to do, i don't know if there's something wrong with me or if its normal. I just feel so awful, im young and have no sex drive, in fact i don't even feel like my partner even wants to be with me half of the time, i don't know if this is because of me constantly feeling sad, or if its genuine, im at a loss i honestly am.. Can anyone at all suggest what to do?

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MikeyJS said on 24 March 2014

Shanlatham - You need to request an urgent appointment to see your GP, we can help with these things!

Don't despair.

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shanlatham said on 23 March 2014

I already have postnatal depression from my first, she is 8 Months old, but I am currently 29weeks pregnant, and these feelings are getting worse and worse, I am starting to have horrible thoughts about wanting to hurt myself, and even had a few suicidal thoughts, I feel asif I can't conmtrol myself and feel really out of control, I am paranoid constantly, I feel like I can't talk to anybody, I'm not eating which I worry about most cause of my unborn, but if I try eating I physically can't I throw it back up again, I've lost my sex drive with my partner, we argue an awful lot more than we used to, were not the saMe anymore and I feel its my fault, I feel asif I cant talk to him and he's supposed to be the one person I should talk too. I felt like this for quite sometime now, and I didn't think anything of it but now I know I need help and a lot of it, I'm harming my unborn and I feel so horrible but I can't help it, I constantly feel low and agetated I feel asif my bodys getting taken over but a demon and I feel like I can't control me I need help please?

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JimDon said on 07 March 2014

Mm2014 & anon7376.
It's not easy to talk to people about depression. Remember that you only see the doctor very briefly (I assume you don't move in the same social circles) so frankly who cares if they don't believe you or judge you. You know how you feel. You know your mind & body better than a doctor. Besides if they don't help what have you lost? Nothing, but imagine what you could gain. You could start on the road to recovery to reclaiming your life back. You could learn how to deal with those thoughts that constantly shout out in your head or even silence them completely. Make that appointment & go along on the day. Take a deep breath, let the mask slip a little and tell the doc. I won't lie to you, you may feel weak & rubbish initially afterward but a little later you'll be so glad you did it and perhaps even a little proud of yourself that you took that first step (the most important & difficult one). Don't give up. Fight! Good luck both

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Mm2014 said on 05 March 2014

I have been carrying these feeling for so long and i to just can't bring myself to go to the doctors and get help. I don't know how to overcome my fear that the doctor will not believe me, I've tried talking to my boyfriend but he just doesn't understand that I cant just snap out of this. Ive grown up in a family that just doesn't discuss things like this so i have to carry on every day pretending that I'm ok when I'm crying inside. How do you find the courage to talk to a stranger about been 'depressed' ?

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anon7376 said on 03 March 2014

I don't know how to go about getting help. How do you make that step and go to the doctors, and utter the word ' depressed.' I've just struggled on alone because I cant bring myself to do it. How did other people overcome this?

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JimDon said on 27 February 2014

tryingtofindanswers
I hope you get to read this & that I can put my thoughts across well.
Don't give up girl. You are doing the best you can & I'd bet he does appreciate it on some level. You cannot take his depression away but you can help him by being there. Read this:
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/living_depressed_person.htm

Ask him to read the next bit;
Sir you will lose her if you don't seek help. By the simple fact that she is on here trying asking for help & how she can change for you is proof of that. You probably won't lose her in her running away but in the sense that you will push her away & leave. That would be the biggest mistake of your life. That's exactly what I did. I regret it every single day. I thought things were so bad & that she was better off without me. While I still believe that I know that I am not better off without her. I wish I'd gotten help years ago and now it is too late. I am at the lowest point I have ever been in the 20 years I've stuggled with depression. Yesterday I actually spoke to a counsellor. I have booked sessions for next month to try & sort myself out. If I had done this 5 years ago I believe I would still be with the woman I still love & miss. The thing is I didn't fully appreciate her or realise how much I loved her until we'd been apart for a year. By then it was far too late, the damage was done & the depression has ensured she stays away.
Don't let your girl go, she appears to be a good un & a keeper. She loves you. Love her. Get help. FIGHT IT!

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Smandaangel said on 22 February 2014

I think my problems really kicked in after I was made redundant from my job just over a year ago. It was a job I loved as it fit in perfectly with my family life, since then I've had one job for just over six months and felt like I couldn't cope with the shift work as they refused to let me have days off with my husband as he works shifts too.. I then changed jobs and they told me that I'd be able to have my set days off.. However just over 5months in, this has been changed and I can tell that all the symptoms of depression are coming back. I'm feeling tired and run down all the time as I can't sleep when I get to bed but them can't wake up in the mornings so am staying in bed til nearly lunchtime when I'm on late shifts. I'm arguing nearly everyday with my poor husband over small trivial things, or weeping profusely! I always feel like all that's going wrong is because of something I've done and feel like everyone would just be happier if I disappeared. I hate feeling like this and feel like I'll be letting everyone down if I go to the drs as can't really afford the time off even though I desperately need it to get my head straight xx

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usa1776 said on 21 February 2014

In answer to "tryingtofindanswers". I myself suffer from depression and have done for years now. About 2 years ago I saw a therapist who sent me to a group therapy programme which I've been on for the last 18 months. I can understand him not wanting to see a professional, neither did I but I promise you when I finally did, it was the best decision I ever made. For all your good intentions in wanting to help him your still not an expert in the matter like the therapists out there and they will be able to help him fix himself. It's not easy opening up to complete strangers and to be quite frank it can be terrifying but the rewards he can get from it will set him up for the rest of his life. As for you causing parts of his depression, certain things will set him off depending upon the type of trauma he's undergone to make him depressed in the first place, things that to you may seem trivial, the worse thing you can do is blame yourself though. There are things that upset or anger me that might not bother most people but because of my past experiences they bring back bad memories and feelings. Just try your best to get him to see a therapist, if he's really struggling or even if you are you could always call the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90. Good luck :)

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tryingtofindanswers said on 20 February 2014

Hi.. Recently my boyfriend has been diagnosed with depression, I feel like I've been doing the best I can to help but there doesn't seem to be much improvement, he gets very agitated when I say or do certain things and although I know its something that cannot be helped I still feel so useless. I have read many columns and comments people have left and it has given me a better understanding of how depression works and how to deal with the person with this depression. I feel like I might need a bit of advice? I do try my best to understand how he feels but know that I never truly can because I'm not going through this. He spends a lot of time isolating himself in one room and I do try to get him to do more things but feel as if I shouldn't be because I know its something he doesn't want but may need? I'm really confused and would love to hear from someone who has been through or going through a situation like this. I feel so helpless sometimes and I know he feels like I'm no help at all, I would love to help him get on the right track but feel as if its a very sensitive subject for him, he doesn't want to speak to a professional but has been going to his GP regularly, I don't know if this is something he doesn't want to accept? I can understand if he would feel this way because it is a hard thing to come to terms with.. He blames me for a lot of things relating to how he feels and I am doing my best to minimize the things that irritate him about me, is this normal? Or is this really something I could have caused without knowing until now? .. Please help.

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Jogga121 said on 07 February 2014

Jat95, you have said absolutely everything I feel. If you also want to talk let me know.

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User839125 said on 28 January 2014

Ive had it for 2 years now it all started when i got letter from my local council to come to an interview at the time i was on benefits and selling items on ebay for friends and family however i didnt realise i was breaking the law at the end i was given a fraud conviction. I tried to fight my case on grounds that the evidence was in accurate as they said i made 28k but after hrs off study and prints i calculated about 12k this was sent to them but no good as i was told i need a clark to organise the calcuations had no money so i gave up. I spent 4 weeks non stop hardly ate and achieved nothing but a conviction and lost my job due to the conviction. Knowing they were inacurate made me even angry. I just felt down and down whilst all friends family were around i just pretended everything was ok . But inside i was dying i just stopped eating completely everytime my friends came to see me i said i ate but they could here my stomach making noises this noise was constant eventually i stopped hanging out and just kept indoors living alone really doesnt help.
I felt like im no longer an intetest to humamity just didnt want to do anything did have thoughts off jumping out the window but this is not allowed in islam.
Could not get a job as i had fraud i started realising the true nature . That no one will employ me and im stuck.
I stopped sleeping and lived on coffee only i would only sleep when i got tired but this was about 9am and waking up around 3 to 6pm i smoked about 30 ciggs every night. i sometimes would eat at my mums but never told her my issues. Before this started i was 13.5st today im 9.8st and losing more everyday. I feal a slight satisfaction from not eating as it eases the depression but health wise it still killing me i now have full depression feal like killing my self every now and then also have nervous breakdown angziety dizzyness heart ache also skin disorder egzema week back constipation cannot sit in a car as passanger head spins. Dr dosnt help

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Emsabo said on 16 January 2014

hi tom! my mum had depression for few years and she always found help in people most close to her or someone she really thought understood, for example, a doctor you see regularly, I would advise going to a group of some kind if you live in town/ city because you will have a common understanding with other people there- this helps- because they can relate with you

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SNPPNS said on 21 December 2013

Being a depressed person myself what is the point in spending your life 'trying' to be happy

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Colin31 said on 16 December 2013

It seems a lot of people are using this platform to voice their experience of mental health issues and even ask questions. While these forums can make you feel heard they are unlikely to provide the answers you require.
Most, if not all, of the users have a mental health issue of some kind. This can be difficult to accept, because there is still a stigma attached, and many people still do not realise that you can't simply 'snap out of it'. Even some GP's will tell you to just try harder to manage it yourself. The situation doesn't get much better when you are referred to specialist teams. They often seem reluctant to make a diagnosis, and they are so stretched that you can't always access the treatments you need.
People are suffering unnecessarily; the government and health professionals need to wake up and realise that more still needs to be done. If you are one of those suffering then please know you are not alone. It feels like a very lonely place and nobody really understands you. During those very rare moments when you do feel some strength please use the opportunity to seek professional help even if you have been let down before. The only way to address the issue is to put pressure on the services to help, and not to lay down and suffer in silence. Remember you are not a failure or a burden, you are unwell and in need of some help.

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Lizzy252 said on 13 December 2013

I'm 25 female and I think I've been mildly depressed since i finished uni about 3 years ago... It's got to a point where I just feel half dead and hopeless. I could just sleep and sleep and sleep and eat and sleep. They're the only things I seem capable of doing. I had depression and anxiety problems when I was 11 and was not entirely normal until I was about 16. My dad has also suffered with it. Since then I've been through a lot but nothing really floored me. In a way I turned my emotional experience at 11 into a way of staying strong. Like I learned things from it and turned it into a life lesson and advantage. Since then I became everybodies rock and I was the one everyone turned to for support and advice. I was happy, confident, bubbly and had clear goals and a future. But this last 3 years have been really really tough. Everything has gone wrong and I feel like I'm on the verge of tears all the time. I've pushed all my friends away because I feel so useless, fat and disappointing. I know I'm isolating my husband and I'm worried he feels unloved and taken for granted but he's really the only good true thing I have. I can fly off the handle over the smallest things and sometimes feel so angry I scare myself a bit. Other times i feel nothing to the point i scare myself a bit. I don't know why I typed 'depression' into google and started reading this page. Until this point I hadn't even considered it. I come from a very close but loud, opinionated family and they would just tell me to pull myself together or say I have pmt or start competing with who is the most stressed and should by right have depression or something. I just don't know what to do anymore.

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Anonymous said on 04 December 2013

Hi Redtearsfalling just wanted to ask you have you seeked medical advice?

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Cearc said on 25 November 2013

My mum has been diagnosed with severe depression, her medicine prescribed is mirtazipine 30 at night and zalasta 5mg night and 2.5 morning, she is very quite not sleeping and loss appetite on tabs now 2 weeks and no change yet, do you no how long until we start seeing some improvement

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redtearsfalling said on 25 November 2013

Hi I'm a 17 year old female called Amy who used to be such a lively, loving funny bubbly person. I miss that person so much. I had loads of friends when I was in secondary who relyed on me and liked me for me. Although I was a bit of a rebellious teenager for my parents as genreally most teens are they always supported me and kept me on track. Sometimes in the past I went through difficult times as most people do and that made me feel depressed yet I never let it rule my life and I always managed to get over it. However now I have lost all my personality, when I speak to my old friends I fidget alot and can't look them in the eye. I feel asif everyones judging me and I speak very quiet most of the time stuttering my words. I can't remember the last time I laughed without faking it. Theres this voice at my head telling me I'm not normal and I think everyone thinks I'm weird. Making new friends in college is difficult, I left one college last year because I felt like I didnt fit in and spent the whole year mostly hidden in my bedroom. I am in a different college now and spend my breaks in the disabled toilets mainly putting makeup on because I feel ugly. I only really have 1 friend now and he has stood by me for 6 years. At home all I do is argue with my mum and she doesnt deserve it because she is the nicest person ever but I cant open up to her because I cant express any feelings at all. I just feel emotionless all the time like I cant even cry. All this anxiousness and paranoia has lead to excessive sweating which is really embarresing and it makes me even more paranoid and disgusting out in public. I have a job and I constantly obsess over sweat patches. I just want to be normal again, because in my head I am the old person I just cant act like it no more in fear of everyone judging me. You may be surprised as you wouldnt normally expect me to feel this way but I do

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jat95 said on 22 November 2013

I'm an 18 year old female and I've suffered with social anxiety for about four years now. I've always found daily life difficult, but now it seems impossible. For about six months, I've had symptoms of depression, although the thought of going to my doctor terrifies me so I've no idea if it is depression or not. I feel like I can't talk to anyone at all, because they won't believe me or think I'm just overreacting. I don't feel like I have any obvious reason for having depression. I've always been made to feel like I'm not good enough in school and college and work. But I have an amazing family and the best friends in the world. But I don't see the point of anything anymore. I feel like a waste of space and like nobody really wants me around. I just feel hopeless, although I'm not sure why. There just doesn't seem to be much future for me, there's nothing to it. I've always been very, very emotional but I feel like all I do anymore is cry. Even talking to people seems like too much effort. That said, I would love to talk to someone who understands. Just reading that other people feel the same had been great. So if anyone wants to talk, please let me know.

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User821095 said on 19 November 2013

I am a 20 year old male and for the last year and half on and off I have been feeling depressed. I have always found myself being very insecure person due to the fact my Dad neglected me from such a young age and had three other kids with another lady. He chose to favour those kids and spoil them whilst me and my mum were stuck in a halfway house. I also have "ADHD" and this causes a lot of problems home, socially and work life due to fact that I am forgetful, scatty, hyperactive and don't think before I do - which often causes people to think I act like a child, whereas I am mature in my age in terms of life skills but still very child like. I have a job in a career I have been doing for 4 years now and I am massively under performing, which doesn't help when I am in a lot of debt with bad spending habits on material things such as Alcohol, Drugs, Gambling - which is only building but I choose to runaway from it, rather than face it. I often feel teary and I am very emotional person anyway but sometimes I feel hopeless and not the person I used to be, I feel like I'm just about tolerable to people but not once loved by friends as I used to be. Now this all may sound silly but I know how I feel in terms off feel low and looking for support. I have pushed my girlfriend away due to the fact I am needy & untrusting which has not helped my situation.

Thanks

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winner 71 said on 14 November 2013

Petek782,

I just read your post about feeling depressed after the breakdown of your marriage and other major life changes.

Its really good that you've been able to write that, and because I have had decades of experience with my own depressive illness, I wanted to writer you a post that may support and comfort you.

You say that you have lost a 30 year marriage, some friends, your home and your job. These are huge and very significant life changes and every person going through this will likely experience deep sadness, be in shock, and enter the grieving process. Without friendship, companionship and support this can sink into a clinical depression. In that situation, the only answer is to speak to your GP honestly about how bad you now feel about yourself and your life. I know that's not easy to do, but lots can be done to help ease the pain your are in.

You say you feel like an empty shell. This can be a symptom of severe social pain. All humans endure amplified social pain, as part of being such a social species and rejection is a huge cause of the worst social pain. It is what we have evolved. Research shows that the worst pain for humans isn't physical pain or even emotional pain. It is social pain.

Social pain from rejection can be so bad and so intense that sufferers may 'dissociate'. This means psychologically shut-down and disconnect from society and their own feelings. This causes the 'empty shell' feeling.

talking therapies heal social pain, as does time, and finding new social connections. Humans need companionship and need to feel wanted and accepted. Without this we suffer.

There is a ways forward for you and you will feel better after taking a journey. This will take time and you can't do it alone. One day your life will be better than you have ever known it, I do promise you. Step one is to end the isolation and seek help. You can rebuild and recover.

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Lostsheep said on 12 November 2013

Hi I'm 27 im a mum of 2 and I think I've been suffering with depression for about 8/9 months now maybe longer, I haven't been to my gp yet as I don't know what to say as I don't know what happened to make me feel this way, it just kind of crept up on me one day. I find myself crying all of a sudden and my children ask why and I don't know what to say to them either, I get no pleasure from anything lately and I got so tired of pretending that everything was normal around other people that as often as I can I get my parents to take my eldest to school to avoid seeing the other parents. I need help but I don't know who to turn to I was such a bouncy happy go lucky person before that it's getting hard to hide it x

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ChelseaLeah626 said on 03 November 2013

I'm 15 and have been dealing with depression for about a year now and the NHS website helps me just that bit more because it makes me feel better about the whole thing really. I've learnt things about depression that help me a lot and hopefully my NHS counseller will help me finally beat depression:)

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ellie7796 said on 31 October 2013

I feel like this has really helped me. I was already aware that I had depression but I feel that it's really comforting knowing that how I feel is completely normal. I hope others who feel this way manage to get through it. It's really really difficult. Love to all. <3

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petek782 said on 31 October 2013

I have been depressed since the breakdown of my 30-year marriage 18 months ago. I have lost everything: home, job, all material comforts and find myself alone in a 1-bedroom flat with no friends and a few family members who have remained faithful (not all have). I took some ant-depressants at the beginning but they made me suicidal. Now, I have been advised to take some others so I probably will do because I can’t go on like this. I am empty shell living a sham of a life, I feel no joy, just emptiness. I am 56 and I feel my life is over.

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SimCal said on 29 October 2013

I have been unwell for just under two years now. I have only just recognised this as depression. My marriage broke down after being together for 10 years - I have been in another relationship for eighteen months now to a wonderful lady who helped me through my marriage breakup. Unfortunately that relationship has now broken up as well. Both break ups were not my choice. I'm 47 and feel totally worthless - I can see no future in any positive way just a lonely depressing one. I don't sleep, eat as my mind is constantly thinking of my ex partner. I can not switch off. I'm about to start counselling so hopefully that will give me the coping strategies I desperately need.

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User814166 said on 24 October 2013

Hello All,

It's great to see so many people open up about their problems and it gave me the courage to share also, so thank you.

Im 25 now and have been depressed once before back when I was around 19. That was a difficult time, however now it has started to creep back into my life. I have constantly been employed since leaving Uni and have had stressfull jobs, but somehow have dealt with them. But for some reason I have been feeling like I was back then but even worse.

I constantly feel worthless, like there would be no difference if I just didnt wake up tomorrow. I feel scared of other people all the time, to the extent that I ignore people because I feel I'm not good enough to have their company or will just let them down .tonight as I type I have woken up stressed out for little things, pacing my room and even crying. I feel quite pathetic. I have killed my confidence and I feel everyday a little more of my heart just says give up.

My parents are great but if I told them I was depressed they wouldn't know what to do. Probably be ashamed. I told my boss last month. who was okay about it but I am still expected to preform like everyone else if in at work.

Well the thing is I can't do it anymore! so tomorrow I will call in sick and go to my doctors. I just don't care about anything else now. My health has to come first over my job. I want to enjoy life again.

I can quite truthfully say in the last 5 months I have never for even one minute been truly happy.

I don't know if it is time off I need or medication but I just want something to make me better.

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mada0305 said on 23 October 2013

hello everyone im a 21 year old male and have been suffering with social anxiety and depression since i was around 14. went to uni a number of times but dropped out due to these problems. tryed pretty much everything including CBT, psychotherapy, private councelling, psychiatrist and am on medication. still feel isolated, empty, lethargic, lonely and extremely unhappy quite frequently. i have no reason to feel this way i have a good family, nice house, friends, had a girlfriend was at uni etc. if anyone has any suggestions of anything that has helped them i would be grateful. thanks

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AnnLW said on 14 October 2013

Dear Lancslass,

You must go back to your GP. This is not 'attention seeking' and no professional would use that term. This sounds like chronic depression at this stage. The symptoms of an under active thyroid can mimic depression but you can also have depression alongside it that wont respond once the thyroid issues have been addressed. So please go back. It is not your GPs place to make a judgment about 'attention seeking', only about your health and well being.

It sounds as if you might be severely depressed and you must speak to your GP (or practice nurse if you find this difficult). You are entitled to ask for a course of prescribed exercise at your local gym (dependant on availability) and/or a course of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy).

This could be in addition to medication which you might need to take for a few weeks before you feel any improvement and for several months before slowly coming off.

If your workplace has an occupational health department it might be helpful to discuss in confidence how you are feeling.

With regards to your friends, you would probably be surprised at how much they have already worked out for themselves. It is important to have a network of support so decide on one or two people that you really feel you can trust to talk to.

It really is not normal to feel like this, so please, if you haven't already done so, make an appointment to see someone today.

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caks1994 said on 12 October 2013

HII FOLKS im new to all this there is some interesting news feed that cud help people i suffer from depression all the time i suffer it cause of work which i find totally unreal because i was off on the sick i was grand went i went bck the stress started n got worse iv now got a Councillor while i see 2times a week but the best thing i done was speak up about my illess

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lancslass2013 said on 10 October 2013

Hi. I'm reading the comments and feeling so sad that so may people have to go through such tough times. I'm in my 30s and haven't been well for nearly 2 years now, since my long term relationship broke down. Everyday I feel exhausted, can easily sleep 12 hours without waking up and that's all I want to do - sleep. I force myself to get up and go to work everyday, pretend I'm ok but really I stopped talking to anyone because I feel I have nothing so say and I can't tell anyone how I really feel. I haven't got family or my close friends in UK, I live on my own and life is getting more and more difficult everyday. I stopped going out with the few friends that I have because I feel I don't belong to them and if they knew how low I really feel they would think I'm weak and wouldn't want to know me anymore. Following a routine blood tests and a lot of complaints about the lack of energy I have now been diagnosed with a hypothyroidism and started a hormone replacement therapy but it's made no difference. I'm afraid to go back to the GP now to seek further help as they would put it down to attention seeking. I don't know what to do. I feel like the best part of my life is over and I have nothing to look forward to but I don't think I've got the strength to live the rest of my life in this state. Getting through each day feels like a torture but it helps knowing that I'm not the only one.

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hopeful2013 said on 05 October 2013

Hi... New to this forum..took me a while to find this type of for but hope it can help me.. Diagnosed in nov 2012 with depression...in a very stressful job which doesn't help! But anyway, that's beside the point... Hopefully this site will help anyhow...

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Pebbles123 said on 02 October 2013

I have suffered with depression aged 14, diagnosed at 18 and I am now 23. Along with that I suffer with anxiety and PCOS. Some days can be dreadful and some days I can feel a lot better. It varies most of the time. If anyone would like to talk and want someone to listen I am here. It's good to speak to people you don't know.

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2412 said on 30 September 2013

I am a 26 year old female who has suffered from depression since my teenage years. Only last year did I seek help after the third psychological breakdown I had suffered since becoming a teenager. The burden that lifted when i visited my GP was unbelievable. I am not suggesting that they cured me, this is something i have to live with long term, but i finally felt like I was taking control of the situation and this gave me something to work towards. The response of the doctors was refreshing and it made me feel less abnormal and less lonely than I had been doing cooped up alone in my flat. NHS doctors should be supportive if you go to them with symptoms of depression, If they are not, make a complaint and see someone else. Go and see the GP. If you cant face telling them, write it in a letter. They will understand, this happens all the time. Don't be afraid of anti-depressants. They give you room to breath and think about your life away from the psychological burden of depression. If anything. Stop putting it off, every minute you do so is one wasted. You only live once so whats the point in trying to cope with how you feel when a trip to the Doctors can make you feel even a little bit better. I am still suffering from depression, but now it is not overwhelming and I am managing to piece together a life for myself. The future is no longer a black hole but something I can at least see and on occasion, look forward to. Good luck everyone that feels like this, believe me, more people do than you could possibly imagine.

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person19 said on 18 September 2013

I'm an 18 year old male and have never told anyone just how bad I feel partly because I lack any form of confidence and also because I'm scared they'll just tell me I'm being a moody teenager.
I've felt like this for about 7 months now and just want someone to talk to. I was trying to pluck up the courage to book an appointment with my GP but now I'm not sure if that's the best path to go down. I've always found talking to people on the phone awkward and horrible anyway but would really hate the call to my GP. What would I say? How should I address the problem? What if he just laughs and tells me to 'get over it'?
I have suicidal thoughts nearly every day, I've had the Samaritans number saved on my phone for weeks but haven't actually managed to get myself to ring it yet. I've lost the passion and motivation for everything, just walking out of my room and looking people in the eye every day is now a massive effort.
I find comfort in being on my own and on the rare occasion I get a social invitation I make every excuse imaginable to avoid it. They must know that I'm lying but it doesn't bother me. I struggle to sleep and hardly ever eat, but hey, life goes on.
Commenting on here is the biggest step forward I've made and I really appreciate all the other comments on here but I'd love to be able to step even further forward and talk to someone who understands how I feel

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lizliz2234 said on 08 September 2013

I have felt depressed for over 4 years now. Just after me and my ex boyfriend broke up after a bad relationship (although it wasnt physically abusive) he was alot older than me and I was young and impressionable, he turned out to be big bully and very controlling. After that I feel like Ive changed as a person. I feel like I still after 4 years later I dont know who I am anymore and what Im about. My morals and values are what I used to live by and now Ive forgotten them all. like I have no real sence of who I am anymore. I get anxiety aswell as low mood. I find myself bitter and generally have a bad attitude towards life and people which I try to control but it just comes out! Im about to go into my third year of uni and all I feel is apprehension. I am convinced nobody likes me and that Im just an inconvenience. Although that may not be true the fact I think these things holds me back from being happy in my life. I just feel horrible and like Ive changed when all I want to be is the nice girl I once was and still are deep down. i have tried counselling but I get no real help of how to change but just a place to offload. I do normL things that kids do at uni likr drink alcohol and it definately makes it worse. I try not to drink alot but its socially hard not to. My dad also recently died but I dont feel depressed about that although its been one of the hardest times in my life I dont feel like its left any kind of depression. I just dont know what to do!

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end1085 said on 28 August 2013

After an internet search / questionnaire on the way I feel I ended up here.
I have many of the feelings already described (in my mid 40s with intermittent dead end low paid jobs, never had a partner & knowing I'm too old & too far gone to have any hope for a future), but the advice of seeing a doctor is a joke.
I found it very difficult to see my GP. I eventually plucked up the courage only to be dismissed out of hand. (At least it was better than my previous visit some dozen years when I was screamed it by a doctor.) How can this humiliation be of any help?
It is clear that I will have to just try to accept things the way they are. I will not subject myself to this a 3rd time & will steer well clear of the doctor's surgery.

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vcd876 said on 28 August 2013

Like a lot of people here, I have suffered with depression all of my adult life, and with anxiety for as long as I remember.
I find that its so easy for the people who write these articles to sit at their computers and say things like 'you should see your GP when you get depressed' or 'counselling helps' when in reality, GPs aren't that much help, and counselling takes an age to get on to a waiting list. The NHS has not been much help for me and on a couple of occasions, I have been told theres nothing wrong with me! The fact is, it took me ages to find the confidence to go to the docs about it in the first place.
If you make the effort to try and beat it; ie carry on as normal going to work etc, its seen as if you don't have a problem, and therefore, you're not worth bothering with. If, however, you don't make the effort to help yourself, you get all the help in the world thrown at you.
Its completely wrong.
These days, I'm on mirtazipine and busperone. When going to see the doc, he always tries to get me to take a greater dose than what I'm on at the moment, but I refuse. The theory behind that is if they drug you up enough, you can't complain, and you'll hopefully get through your life in a drug-addled fug and claim not to be depressed any more. Then the doc has another success on his hands.

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What to do said on 28 August 2013

I'm a 19 year old male, and I really don't know what to do with myself, I have lost interest in everything I used to love. I feel as if no-one has ever really liked me and I'm just tolerated or hated. I find it extremely hard to talk to anyone in any type of conversation, I have to analyse what I say over and over again and think about what I just said for the next hour in case someone felt I was weird or strange. I know for a fact a lot of my friends have started to dislike me, indicated by not bothering to talk to me, invite me anywhere or even acknowledge me. This has recently made me feel even worse and my self esteem is at an all time low. I've been badly bullied in the past, never had any relationship and have shunned people who may even like me and I don't know why. Everything just seems hopeless and I'm a massive disappointment for everyone; no point at all even being here, the only reason I haven't killed myself is because I love my mom too much to do that, even if I fail at everything I do. I need help fast but I have no-one to talk too and I don't know how to address the situation with a GP, I just want this to end and get some advice.

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dupree21 said on 12 August 2013

Another fellow sufferer from the age of 4, now in my thirties and I am medicated, have counselling, exercise, eat well and it just about keeps me on the 'right' path but to be honest its been 30 years now and like many of you say - why bother anymore, do I have to feel like this for the next 30 years because I really don't want to, but what can we do to get proper help or is this really it. We have to get out of bed and go to work and keep a routine going as otherwise we will feel 10 times worse, but all I really want to do is sleep and shut the world out because then I can just be myself and not this fake, smiling, happy go lucky girl (which I am most certainly not, but everyone one at work thinks I am). Has anyone noticed what great actors/actresses you become when you're depressed...... Hang in there fellow sufferers, I feel your pain xxx

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littleoyster said on 05 August 2013

I've had depression for aslong as i can remember (4 years of age onwards) but my mum said even at two years i was constantly unhappy and just never got any better. Growing up ive had agrophobia, social phobia, severe anxiety, anorexia, self harm, exhaustion, dream anxiety dissorder (constant nigtmares) and drug and alcohol problems. Ive got through it all and am in a much better place (degree educated and a job i enjoy) but still totally depressed and only function due to my medication. The worst thing i find about my depression is that even when everything is fine i am still not ok and im often scared i will relapse into a state where i completely stop functioning. It really is such a dehabilitating illness which i would really like to go away please! Best wishes to my fellow sufferers x

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LaylaBarbara88 said on 17 June 2013

I am 25 years old, I have been suffering from depression since my mid teens. I have been to counselling before and found it helped but the last 2 years I have really gone down hill. I have been to my doctors and been on different medication, finally I have seen a different doctor who has given me new medication and referred me back to counselling. My main fear is am I always going to feel like this and need medication, is this really how I am going to feel for the rest of my life? I suppose of it is I'm not sure I want to hang around for it. After speaking to the doctors I understand there are things that have happened in my past and to me in my childhood which I thought I had dealt with but maybe I haven't, maybe I have just put them to the back of my mind and tried to forgot. I don't want to feel like this forever, I sleep half my life away, never go out and shut myself away in my room all the time. My mum knows I suffer with depression but I don't really talk to her about it as she doesn't understand, unfortunately it is one of those things I think that unless you have suffered from it you will never understand. I wish I could feel positive and happy about things but that just isn't the case, I wish many things though but my main thing I wish for is to not be ill anymore I don't want this but don't know what to do! Sorry I'm rambling but I just found this forum and thought they may be people who understand how I feel as I don't have anyone to talk to, I decide not to tell people as I don't want them looking at me differently or want their sympathy.

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User776764 said on 29 May 2013

I lost my Dad on October 2011 and since then I have never been the same, every day I cry.
I thought with time it would get better, how wrong was I
I no longer get happy about the things that used to make me happy, also I find it very hard to concentrate on the most simplest tasks.
I cant tell my family or my partner.
James

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_HarlequinDoll_ said on 27 May 2013

I hate when people pass depression off as being moody and just tell me to 'get over it'.

I'm 20 years old and I've been suffering from depression for as long as I can remember, it's AWFUL. I can almost literally feel it tearing me apart inside out. I can't function, I have no friends, I've never had a boyfriend and it all sucks. Truth be told I've been this way so long I don't see an out, I don't think there's a 'normal' for me to go back too, it's just going through my head every day like my own brain is trying to torture me, it's just going 'kill yourself, you're worthless, pathetic, there's no future for you, no hope for you, you'll grow old a worthless disappointment to everyone around you. You'll watch the few people you have to care about die before succumbing to death, dying as a worthless waste of space who didn't deserve the life you were given. Just die now and save yourself the heartbreak and others the disappointment. They wont care, they never talk to you, you're alone, all alone.' It's like that every day to the point that I try to force myself back to sleep in the mornings...

Good luck everyone else, I hope you all feel better. No-one deserves this.

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User775953 said on 26 May 2013

First off, I just want to say that looking through these comments are inspirational. Please, keep on fighting. You can all get through this :)

So mine started around 18 years old, I was losing my first job due to redundancy. I started a new job when I was 19, I was constantly targeted and they made fun of me when I told them I had special needs. They used to shout at me and send me in tears whenever I asked for help, which is what an apprentice needs. This really started to worry me at night and I couldn't sleep, felt really sick and run down all the time, I couldn't tell anyone because I felt like a drama queen. I used to have panic attacks on the way to work, they became more and more frequent. I ended up going off with chronic stress and wasn't supported at all when returning to work. Since leaving I entered a downward spiral of depression... I constantly got false hope, was really tearful, really stressful events were going on, and now, I feel the damage has been done, my "friends" turned my back on me, I stay in my room most weekends, as no one wants to go out with me. Everyone thinks im a bipolar maniac because I act happy then its always one thing after another.

Luckily, things are on the up for me, I have a new job which I love, I feel respected and don't feel scared to ask for help. Its only temporary, I really hope its made permanent, I'm worried what will happen to me if it doesn't.

I know its easier said than done, but hang in there everyone. It truly gets better xxx

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cissyhelps said on 20 May 2013

I trust you. first time i assumed , If i seek advice from a counselor personally , it makes me feel even more abnormal and people feel bad for me and I hate it when people feel sympathy for me.

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suzyQ33 said on 03 May 2013

Hi ckos-18, I do not know where you live but if it were me I would call your gp practice and explain you suffer from agraphobia and need a home visit.? Just be very direct about it. If you get some snotty receptionist who tells you its not possible then ask for one of the gp's to give you a phone and speak to the doctor direct, just be honest about how you feel, its not a big deal to them. If that fails contact one of the Mental Health Agencies near to you and they should be able to advise you on the phone your best option. Just google it or look up your phone book - do people still use them? Don't worry about your family and telling them, that's not important right now, when you get treatment I promise you it won't seem half as daunting. And just for the record my mum still tells me i have to just pull myself together even after suffering with this over 30 years! I like to hang up the phone then! :) Good luck and remember you're not alone and you have nothing to be ashamed of. :)

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Jayde38 said on 02 May 2013

I have been suffering from depression for 3 years. It started when my husband had an affair. Then my health deteriorated. Then my job changed and I got this most obnoxious boss. Now my life is hell at work and at home. I am tired of people telling me just to leave my husband or find another job. Like it is that easy? I have kids to consider and payments to meet. I just feel so trapped. I was on anti-depressants for a year. Then my GP decided they weren't good for me and prescribed counselling instead. That did nothing for me. It was just a lot of easy answers. Get fit, stay active, go out with friends. Talk to people (but they don't want to know!?!) Yeah, like I didn't know that. Don't know what to try now. Any ideas?

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ckos_18 said on 01 May 2013

Hi, I'm an 18 year old female and I have been suffering from depression for 3 years.
I haven't told anybody, not even family or friends, mainly because I'm scared of them thinking "Whatever, just get a grip", but also because I'm not sure how to start that conversation.
I have recently been trying to gear myself up to go see my GP, but I'm not sure what to say. Also, I have never been to a doctors appointment on my own before, and I don; think I would be able to cope (I also have social anxiety disorder and agoraphobia). Can anyone make any suggestions as to what I could do, your help would be much appreciated.

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suzyQ33 said on 30 April 2013

Hi everyone, but especially Saffron aged 14!. i've suffered with depression since being young even as young as 12. Its something thats a big part of me and always will be. Acceptance is the first step. The second step is seeing a GP as soon as possible to get assessed. If you don't like what you're gp has to say and don't get the help you need then go to another gp, then another, then another until you get the answer you know you need. I did. Telling friends or family is a personal thing. I first saw my depression as a sign of weakness but after lots of medication and counselling i realise now that asking for help is a sign of strength not weakness! People still don't understand but hey that's their problem not mine. I'm now 47 still alive and manage to live a reasonably normal, happy life most of the time so i must be doing something right! Just remember this feeling wont last forever and is only temporary until you do get help but do get help. Remember you have to help yourself first before anyone else can and that is asking for it. I was lucky and eventually found a great GP. He explained to me i have something missing which causes depression so i have to take medication to replace the something missing (sanity I call it!). You wouldn't deny something with Diabetes Insulin would you? So why would you deny something for yourself that you really need to live a happy life. I would also recommend counselling. I used to think this was for mental Americans who had no mates! Sorry America! The unbelievable relief of talking to someone impartial is undeniably a very powerful tool in aiding your recovery. And one day you may even learn to love yourself and accept that your quirky and different (not mental) - and really, is that a bad thing? Hope this helps someone. PS: I looked up famous people who suffer with depression on Google - you would be surprised! xxxx

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eddie21 said on 02 April 2013

i think might be depressed as i have a lot of the simptoms and got 21 on the test but i dont konw how to tell people

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eddie21 said on 02 April 2013

i think might be depressed as i have a lot of the simptoms and got 21 on the test but i dont konw how to tell people

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Please_Help_Saffron said on 22 March 2013

Hello I'm 14, I went to the doctors about a year ago and he said that I might have depression i had counciling for a while but I didn't say much I have gotten worse i have self harmed 3times and cry everyday I took your test and got 26points I'm always nervous and anxtious and I recently thought about taking antidepressant but I feel uncomfterble telling my mum and other family members apart from my auntie, please reply thank you for ur time x

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Pearo said on 06 March 2013

depression is the most horrible thing ever to happen to me

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natchanel said on 10 February 2013

@confusedgirl I can totally relate to what you mean. I'm 25 and live in California, USA. I found this site in my search to find someone similar to myself to talk to.

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missed out said on 09 February 2013

Hi 52 y/o male here , i suffered from depression in the mid 80's and most of the90's , i could not except my sexuality as idid not wnt to be gay , i smoked lots of weed , drunk lots of vodka and would have jumped a bridge if i never passed out before i got there , i went to the GP and with some counsellig and some tabs i sort of got through it , a few years down the line my famly wanted me to be happy and dropped hints about me finding someone , few months later i thought i was ready and met my first love at the age of 43 , i thought things were great but he was a complete control freak and after a few years into the relationship he started kicking hell out of me which he continued to do for the next 2 years ... he left (hooray !!! ) but the little confidence i had i had kicked out of me , a few years on i have had hundreds of panic attacks , no self worth , think about dying or death every day , no sleep and hit the vodka again , my brother told me to see the GP , went down on friday and he was a very nice chap who i had not seen before , he reassured me that 1000's of people have anxiety and get over it quite quickly and i sould get this particular book on psycology as it's a excellent read .... or try www.getselfhelp.co.uk if i dont like reading books ... well doc i'm sure your a exccellent GP and your a real nice chap but you did not know me or my history and it's not your fault ... but the vodka is winning and i doubt i will be back .

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confusedgirl said on 07 February 2013

I am 25 years old, have been feeling really down for a long time. I cry quite a lot of the time over small things, feel really low about myself as in I feel like a failure as a person and that a career isn't meant to be for me. I am so tired of looking for work since graduating from university 2 years ago and have had no luck what so ever. I feel this has triggered everything off. I never feel confident in what I do, wish I could switch it on and struggle to make decisions, feel am I doing the right thing or for some reason it feels wrong. I have no self-esteem, feel insecure about my looks, my mum hasn't exactly made me feel good about myself growing up and once laughed cos she thought I said I was pretty, said to her don't worry I know I'm ugly. I suffer from insomnia as well, stay up til really late at night and sleep a lot. I struggle to focus without my mind wondering elsewhere. I struggle socially, growing up I have really struggled to make friends, tagged along with whomever and prefer to avoid gatherings or sitting down with family, just want to be alone. My mum isn't exactly supportive in what we do or never has taken an active interest. They give my sister preferential treatment, bend over backwards for her and is really close to them not me. Since she chose to fulfil my mothers wish to teach, she said she enjoys it, my mother has been telling me to do it since its the best career for a girl not in an office which she doesn't like and I chose not to do teaching cos I have no interest in it. Others in the community who happen to be relatives say I should do it as its best for a girl not travelling further out for work, as people will talk. I have lost my zest for life. Exercise gives me a temporary relief and I'm adjusting my eating. You probably think I have everything, family, part time job and a degree. I can't help how I feel, I struggle to open up cos when I do I feel they don't understand me. Why do I still feel like this? Am I depressed? Help me.

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jules9905 said on 06 February 2013

Im only 35 i have two kids and a husband, but i just dont connect anymore, i cant sleep and eating is an issue.
my life sucks, i just wont to say enough and scream but the words turn to tears and i cant explain myself.
My job has turned into a nightmare i hate going in, i have spent the last two days crying being sick. I cant afford to leave and i cant stay .

wont somebody give me an answer. please.

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Greenacer said on 30 January 2013

Message to BRTH, I hope you are still visiting this web page. something you wrote struck a cord with me. Please type into google shrink for men and have a good read on the web site that it directs you too. It may or may not be relivent to your problems. For me and the dark place I found myself in the topics discust on there were very relivent.

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Jackson11 said on 26 December 2012

I have suffered with depression for years and find that support from other people really helps I found an online forum with various people suffering from the same things as myself it's called http://depressionforums.co.uk/dpf/

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Dark place said on 11 December 2012

I have not slept well for a month or so, concerns... real concerns about money, feeling worthless, unable to provide, then my father has to go into Hospital for an operation, and then I get flu, 5 nights without a wink of sleep and without eating or drinking as it made me feel sick.......crying! Lots of crying....and the dark thoughts came, it started with planning to just leave, pack and go, everyone would be better off without me, then, it got a whole lot darker, confused, crying for hours at a time, ( I have not cried since I was a boy in my early teens 40 years ago!) ,,,,,then, as clear as I could be, I decided it was best for everyone concerned if I was not here permanently..... In the end after planning the three ways that would be the most decisive, I settled on one and planned it to the last detail, If I had not been speaking so slowly and just a little more lucid, I might have done it, anyway, the Doctor summoned a medical Emergency team and withing 2 hours I was re hydrated and feeling better, within 6 I was stunned I had even had the thoughts, 5 nights of sleeping pills later, I can only say to you, Please......speak to someone.......Anyone.....it could be biological, as simple as insomnia an dehydration...All I ask is you pick up the phone.....it saved my life......I am still concerned about my lost week, and the place it took me... I cannot remember much lucidly........it is difficult to find reasons... But I know it only takes a phone call......

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will2012w said on 26 November 2012

40 now , been brought up to deal with things myself like we were back then , be a man and all that but felt a bit bad just felt bad for a long time , been over tbh i think a year and a bit more now just feeling low and not wanting to see anyone or do anything , im going to speak to a doctor tomorrow , havent made an apointment yet but im hoping he can fix me tomorrow because to be truthfull i have had enough.

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olive o said on 12 September 2012

Hi, im 28yrs old and im a very depressed person. i remember feeling sad and teary for long episodes since the age of 6 years old. i remember crying and hating myself from this age and having the belief that no one loves or cares about me.

unfortunately throughout my life i have always felt useless and not worthy of living. i have had real problems making friends and keeping friendships and i have come to accept that people generally dont like me.

i have a loveley daughter and a caring partner who is becoming increasingly frustrated and fed up with my low moods and lack of sex drive. this has put a massive strain on our relationship.

i really hate who i am and what i represent. i feel as if i have no good inside me. i feel as if im a flawed creation. i feel as if my purpose on this earth is complete.

i can not speak to anyone about how im feeling cause no one will ever understand or believe me. i tend to adopt a confident attitude but deep down im a total wreck.

lately iv put on weight, fatigue, headaches, dizziness, been self harming, overwhleming feeling of guilt and little self worth, teary, over criticising of myself, thinking the worst about myself, serious thoughts of hanging myself, thoughts of my partner leaving me for a happier life (which i often encourage).

im tired of feeling so down all the time and im not much of a talker. cant speak to my partner cause he is way too self assured, tends to make me feel silly and weak and can be dissmissive about mental health problems.

what should i do?

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beckycc7 said on 19 August 2012

hey, my boyfriend of 24 has all the same symptoms as described in the article and in the other comments. he currently has not a proper job because of his depression and anger as he cant keep a proper job down therfore he cant afford a house. he also doesnt currently have a doctors and cant untill he has a place to stay-which he cant get untill he has his depression and anger sorted. its ones nasty circle and he thinks he can sort it out himself which he cant. i want to help him get help but i dont know where to start. where can i get him help without him having a doctors to go to?

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Rosie Anne said on 15 August 2012

I'm a 25 year old female. At the age of 3, I saw a rotting corpse and soon after that my grandpa, my hero, died of cancer and my auntie took her own life, so I had skewed views of death from a very young age, and I think that's where my depression started. I had a great childhood otherwise, with a loving family, but I struggled to make friends at school and always knew I saw the world differently to the other kids. At secondary school, I put on a lot of weight and was bullied badly. Suddenly, the weight flew off and I was practically skeletal without changing my diet, and I was diagnosed with Coeliac disease. I also nearly died in 2 separate freak accidents. Around the same time I lost 2 more grandparents who I adored. I went to uni and loathed it, I was utterly homesick, living in a rough area, with no friends. One day I was rushed to hospital and nearly died from a perforated ulcer in my stomach for which I needed some massive surgery, and a few days later my granny died. I left uni and enrolled at uni back home and went on anti-depressants and had counselling, which, for a while changed my life and I had the happiest, most joyful 2 years of my life. Then I started to get poorly again, was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, and my doctors thought it was a deadly strain of the condition - it took nearly 2 years to get the results back from the genetic testing, during which time half my hair (my most distinguishing feature) fell out due to stress. I developed fibromyalgia and ME, and was diagnosed with chronic pain, mild autism, and numerous other things. I'm now in a wheelchair, which I will be in for the rest of my life. I'm in constant agony and can hardly move a muscle. I still have many horrific symptoms that remain undiagnosed as my medical situation is so complicated. Throughout my life, I have battled with self harm and suicidal thoughts, but now I'm coping really well with the depression, and I will explain in the next post as I'm running out of space!!

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anonymiss said on 14 August 2012

I just feel numb

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OhGrimz said on 03 August 2012

Am I depressed? I keep having the feeling that I'm worthless and I often bounce from high moods to low moods. I was diagnosed with an anger management disorder as a kid and lately I just seem to be getting more and more frustrated. I'm 16 and I smoke (does smoking affect moods?) Sometimes I just lie in bed and weep over past experiences such as the death of my grandad which was 4 years ago or the fact that I got bullied when I was younger before I had the nerve to stick up for myself (and that only lead to more trouble). I've never had a girlfriend because I'm not confident enough. Some days I just lie in bed for as long as possible because I don't feel motivated enough. People are often surprised that I've never been in a relationship because I'm apparently good looking and I just make up the excuse that I haven't found the right person yet.... Every day is the same and I often feel very low and I feel guilty about the things I've done when I've had large outbursts of anger. Am I depressed? Help!

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SunshineRose said on 01 August 2012

I have read some of these comments and it shocked me how similar my feelings are to others, for many months I've not been feeling like I used to. I was always the bubbly, loud, happy person in the room. My mom would say I was like a sunshine because I was always smiling. And I was so happy. Twenty months ago my mom died, and I thought I coped well, my sisters and I stuck together, we had lots of friends who rallied around us and really helped us stay stable. Of course I was sad, that doesn't really explain it properly, but my mom was my world, she was a single parent and she was always there for me, she was my best friend. But I thought I was doing well, I was carrying on, I started uni, I moved in with my boyfriend. But for several months now I've felt myself slipping. At first I thought it was due to my weight, so I threw myself into losing weight, after losing a stone and a half I felt no better, I thought it could be because I was unfit so I started running, which does help, while I'm running I do feel much better, but I can rarely summon up the enthusiasm to go out now.
Its got to the point where I can't see the point of getting up, going to uni, doing anything. I still force myself to, mostly, but I don't see the point. I wonder if anything would change if I didn't, if I just disappeared and hid somewhere by myself and did nothing, would anything change? No, the world would still go round, people would still live, move on. So why try? It doesn't make a difference.
The only reason that I haven't done that is because I don't want to draw attention to myself, I've exhausted myself trying to hide all this from my friends and family. Including my boyfriend, he hasn't got a clue, he knows I'm down sometimes but he just thinks I'm thinking about my mom, he doesn't know just how much I'm strugglng. And I don't want to tell him, or anyone, I don't want to be seen as weak..

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lostgirlintheworld said on 28 July 2012

I feel really unsure about posting this, obviously I am not happy, I haven't been for a while. Thinking about it, I've been feeling like this since 2009 but I've tried and tried many things to distract and forget how sad I am but I can't handle it anymore. On the one hand, I know how unhappy I feel inside yet when I look at myself from an outsiders perspective, I think 'pull yourself together', some people have it so much worse than me. I know in many aspect i'm lucky, I'm not unattractive, I have a big social network and lots of 'friends', but in actual fact, I feel this life was what I used to have, I used to honestly feel happy and content but suddenly I feel that 'me' I look at in the mirror, the girl who looks happy, carefree and smiley is just not there. Inside, i'm crumbling, constantly on the verge of tears, and so so scared, the worst part is that I can't see past how i'm feeling and I don't know what to do.

I've just graduated from uni with really good grades, I thought this would lift me and it was the anxiety of not passing that was getting me so low this year but I feel no change, It felt good for a day. I thought that getting back into contact with my ex boyfriend would help, its only made things worse as I feel myself clinging to him, putting my hopes on us making things work just to distract myself from the reality of my life, and honestly when I leave I feel 10 times more alone. Every guy I have been involved with has hurt me.

Also another thing i've noticed is a change in my eating habits, in comparison to the last time i felt happy. I will eat really unhealthy food like chocolate etc carbs overload to the point i feel sick. then for the next few days eat nothing. My eating patterns are so unstable and I mentally feel a-lot bigger than what i am in reality.

I can't say this to anyone I know, friends /family. I don't want people to know how much i'm hurting inside. Thankyou for reading & pls reply if you understand.

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hammerit1807 said on 24 July 2012

wow,have spent an hour reading everyones comments and feel it is a run through of my life,i have suffered with depression for over 25 years maybe longer been married for 15 years and have 2 children it has only been 8 yrs since i was diagnosed but am still learning to cope.for all new to depression no matter how trivial you think your being speak to a doctor close friend or relative.i cannot escape the fact there is a stigma attatched to our illness but it is an illness all the same.the one thing in everyones comments that shine through is that we are all caring people and unfortunately the more you care the more it hurts..thats what comes of being a really good human being,as for personality change when depressed i used to drink daily,take drugs get into fights,quit jobs, insult people get arrested and generally be a ruddy nuisance,the reason was always blamed on drink but the truth is now i understand i was ill and used booze and drugs to escape the demons in my head.even now the depression still hits me when im not looking currently 2 months into a bout but feeling better by letting it out on this forum(which is all new to me)so sorry if its out of context ??good luck to everyone out there at last im not alone

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laurajane94 said on 20 July 2012

I'm only 17 and compared to some of the other things people have to deal with, mine sound like nothing. I go to college, have a job, volunteer part time and have a hands on role with my family (younger brother and sister) and help my mum whilst she is out at work. I enjoy socialising with my friends, but recently I just want to be alone. I wake up in a morning and don't see the point in getting out of bed because it makes no difference. My mum is getting annoyed at me because all I do is snap at her and can no longer hold a conversation without getting annoyed s she is veery out spoken and opinionated and she has no idea why I'm being like I am. Im just really unsure of things at the minute, decisions about going to university are looming and its scary. I'm not sure why I'm feeling like I am. Does all of this sound pathetic?

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Johnccfc said on 18 July 2012

I have suffered 5 times with depression in my life. Recently my partner kicked me out of our home physically with the help of her friends. I am currently unemployed with no car and was studying to be a driving instructor and using my partners car. I have moved back to my parents house which is some forty five miles away. We have a baby girl of 20 months old who I miss so much. Currently I have been anxious and have felt like ending it all numerous time and have self harmed by cutting my arm. I feel so desperate at the moment it feels like my whole life has been destroyed. I miss my daughter so much and although I talk down the phone to her every night apart from the last two weeks I haven't been apart from her for 9 months. It breaks my heart to think she is without her Dady and I am without her. I love my partner so much, she is suffering from post natal depression and drinks 1 - 2 bottles of wine each night. I am worried for her and for our baby. How can somebody be so cruel as to throw somebody out on the street. I am not the easiest person to live with but have never hurt anyone nor have I ever been cruel to her. I don't understand what has happened to me and can't seem to focus on how I can restart my life.

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rachel2345 said on 17 July 2012

i think im really really depressed. i've felt so down and worthless for the last couple months. i constantly drink if i can and i smoke. i dont study or work and ive been looking for a job for so long but where im staying is so off the map there isnt anything around, my parents kicked me out and im living with grandparents in a remote town. i have no friends round here, my boyfriend lives miles away now, im rude to him all the time because he's out enjoying himself and im stuck here with nothing to do and no one to see. i cant even get good signal round here so i cant talk to anyone. i always think about death and whats on the other side. i havent attempted suicide and i hope i dont, but on this road things are just getting worse and that might be there at the end, i've been eating so much recently and just cant stop. i just eat and eat. i can never concentrate on anything, i just keep thinking about all the negative stuff in my life and how horrible everything is. i hate being like this and being so negative and angry and sad all the time which makes me hate myself, i feel so useless and like nothing i do is ever good enough and i can never do anything right. im just so lost in everything and i just want to die basically. i hate my life, i hate who i am and i hate that im in a position where nothing is nice any more. i need help but i dont want to talk to people face to face about it. its too stupid and embarrassing. i dont know what to do first.

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anglea said on 16 July 2012

hi am new to this am 25 years old i have suffer from depression i have this for 10 years due to rape at college am very low with this and my weight has suffer from this

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User349047 said on 11 July 2012

star04 - pls see another doctor. you probs have postnatal depression or post natal anxiety. I had it with both my babies. don't ignore it as it can get worse.
one thing i would have changed is either
1) get someone to help you during the day when you're alone or
2) pay for someone to help you during the day when you're alone
I didn't have any support during the day and couldn't afford to pay for it. But looking back, I would have got out a loan.
Take care lovey xx

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star04 said on 29 June 2012

im 22years old and recently had my first child 15weeks ago, even though i love my daughter more than anything i can tell im suffering from depression,
at first i put it down to the baby blues, but as weeks went passed it got worse and worse.
its got so bad now that not even my boyfriend wants to stay with me, we always argue as i feel so low in myself i dont want to do anything, i have no energy and cant sleep (my baby sleeps all the way through) so cant even say i wake up coz of my baby.
i lash out at my boyfriend and i dont even know why, it has gotten so bad i just dont know what to do.
been to the doctors they just said about how to change my lifestyle and that its hard work being a mum for the first time, they ouldnt listen when i said i needs help. was wondering how you guys coped with everything thats if you dont mind sharing

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Rosswp336 said on 27 June 2012

I am 24 and I am suffering from depression. It's hard to even write it down and I've never really even admitted it to myself but its got to that stage where I know within myself. When i was 17 I had an operation for phimosis (tight foreskin) and ever since I have experienced pain and over sensitivity during any sort of activity and sex. It is really uncomfortable. I also have a hydrocele (fluid around my testicle) that causes discomfort and prostate pain and I don't think I can have kids which is a shame as I would have loved to have been a dad. I have been trying to cope with this for years. It is the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing at night. It is also what haunts me during the day. I have never had a proper relationship with a girl as I am always down and I wonder if i ever will. There is a girl who I really liked and cared about but she doesn't feel the same anymore. I feel so exhausted, my few friends have become distant and it seems like noone wants to be around me anymore. Every day is a daze that i try and get through. Even for a brief hint of being content I never get too carried away as I know that soon I will be back to feeling down again as I know I have to live with these problems for the rest of my life. The doctors don't know what to suggest. It is affecting my whole life and I am currently working a job that fills me with no desire to get out of bed in the morning. I am also losing hair and the stress is only making it worse. Sometimes I can't quite believe that this is my only life and I feel like it is ruined. I have started taking medication to help but its not really helping. Everywhere I see people happy and laughing. I havent laughed or smiled in months. I just want to be like them

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lonelysecret said on 27 June 2012

I have been suffering from depression since my early teens. It is so isolating and i feel guilty that past events keep me from enjoying the great friends and life i have now. i am constantly told this is just a blip by my parents and that because i am no longer living my past that i should be over it. This feels impossible for me with all the flashbacks and nightmares i have which are made doubly worst by my medication. The doctors constantly tell me to wait for months till it kicks in then to have them double the dose coz i am getting worse and i have to spend a lot of my small salary paying for counselling because the nhs waiting list is too long. None of you including myself should feel guilty for feeling this way no matter what has caused your depression. You are not alone and it is not your fault to feel the way you do. You need to talk and if like me you cant talk to your family then try counselling even though waiting lists are long because talking is the only way you can deal. Those of you teens who suffer can usually get free counselling from local charities and you shouldnt feel like you wont be taken seriously. The amount of pressure you are put under is enormous and it is ok to feel depressed and stressed with it all. I hope everyone single one of you overcome your problems. Just try to remember you arent alone and you shouldnt feel guilty for how you feel xx

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BRTH said on 20 June 2012

Hi,
I am new to this. I guess I'm depressed. To be frank, I'm a good person (according to me). I don't drink and don't smoke. But I have a girl friend, she tells that I am not as brilliant as her, and I'm always lazy. Yes, I do accept that I'm lazy and not brilliant as she is. But, I started feeling depressed now, because she hates me because of this habit(laziness and lacking brilliancy). This made me wander in the streets of Manchester. I felt like I'm good for nothing. I feel like stupid and insane. But before coming to UK, she was fine and I was also fine, I would think myself brilliant and good in everything. But now, not even a single minute can think myself as such. I got just 50 in my course works, she scored all 70's. She earns 800 per month, I do only 400 per month. All these makes me suppressed. Also, she loves to stay in England. She found a way and her part time job's boss is ready to sponsor her a VISA, She will going away from me very soon. I will go away from this world very soon. I don't need a help. I cry often. She even told, that I am a girl. Is there a way to check whether I do posses girly characters or not? If so I need to check before dying. She was able to afford an iphone 4s. I was not able to afford anything, only rent and personal expense. All these makes me quite depressed.

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Lonley15 said on 18 June 2012

I'm only 16 so I don't feel like anyone will take me seriously. I've been feeling low for the last 5 years but in the last year it's got really bad. Its usually worse in the evenings and sometimes i dont even cry i just sit on my bed and stare at the wall. Lots of little things have gone wrong recently and it just feels like one thing after another. I can't remember the last time I was truly happy. I don't feel like I can tell my parents, or even my friends because they'll think I'm being pathetic. Reading all these comments, especially the ones from younger people, has really helped and it's made me feel like I'm not alone and other people know how I feel.

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anon1996 said on 15 June 2012

i am just 16 years old and i know now that i have depression, ive only really know for a few months but i cant remember ever being properly happy. on sites about depression it says it changes your personality - and i know i would be a very different person if i had never had it, but i cannot say it has changed how i act because i have always been like this.
over the past year especialy i have been feeling really tired, lonely, and depressed. i'v also started wondering how much easier it would be to die, just not to live anymore. last year i got glandular fever and now iv got chronic fatigue which means im really stressed too bcause im so far behind on my exams. ive decided to get help now but it is so hard to even pick up the phone and make an appointment with a doctor and i keep thinking that they'll laugh at me or just wont understand, or that even if i do it wont help and i'll just get worse.

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shedview said on 10 June 2012

Iam not sure if I am depressed or just feeling sorry for myself. I was TUPE transferred to a new employer a few years ago and since then I have been so unhappy. I have never worked with so many people with negative attitudes to the effect that it has worn me down. I started training for a new job role and due to lack of training and support I began to struggle. I was always a confident person but found my self esteem was very low. I began to make loads of mistakes. My concentration was poor and I began to slow down when I became stressed which meant I didn't complete my tasks and I fell behind. Banter with colleagues no longer was funny and I found myself crying in the toilets all the time. I felt so alone as my bosses didn't seem to understand what I was going through. In the end I decided I could not do the job and asked to be downgraded. I thought I would maybe feel better but I still feel I am struggling. my memory is poor and find I am constently forgetting to carry out tasks. i was a manager for 20 years and now I feel such a failure. Should I seek medical help because I just feel such a complete failure or will i eventaully get over this period?

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Pineapple Princess said on 08 June 2012

Talk of Chav culture is partly to blame for the way the last two posters feel. They study, work hard ,care. It is difficult to find employment. Both of my nephews, with degrees, struggled to find work.

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RachyRoodles said on 06 June 2012

I'm only 21 yrs old and I feel so low its starting to affect the people around me. I at a point where I am doing stupid things. It all started when I lost a much loved family member but this was 9 yrs ago. How have I let myslef get worse? I don't understand why its affecting me as much as it is. Everything just seems to make me feel like crap too. I'm not happy in myself anymore. I have only just been able to tell my boyfriend of 6 years about how I feel and now he doesn't look at me in the same way. So how can I make this better if I don't feel like I am going to have the support I need? I know I make things worse for myself as well as I drink (alot) and I think I'm getting dependant on that too. Will seeing my GP make any this pain stop?
I don't know what I can do to stop thinking the deep dark thoughts that I have in the first place. But what I don't get is that no-one can tell I am so sad. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone anymore I have distanced the real me so far from everyone that no-one really knows anything. I feel so alone and so messed up that I'm concerned if I new what was wrong with me it will make me go through with it. It scares me that I have even thought about not being here. But sometimes thats the only thing that makes sense, I don't know what to do anymore! Can anyone offer advice?

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Sir Samuel Of Buca said on 27 May 2012

So the form says that I may be suffering from some kind of depression. I don't want to go to the doctor because I feel stupid and it's embarrassing. Is life really worth it anyway? I have no friends, no girlfriend, no job, no money and no social life. I also hate the way I look. I definitely suffer from anxiety because whenever I am out and about I cannot help but feel that people are judging me. I'm constantly angry and frustrated. I got made redundant 2 years ago and haven't really recovered since. With this recession / double dip recession there is no hope, I have no real qualifications and no real working experience. I'm 25 years old and I have so many regrets. I've not experienced anything in life at all. So to conclude, if I wasn't such a scared coward then I probably would have ended things by now...

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LouiseBooth said on 20 May 2012

Ok so a lot of the symptoms match up, but I feel that if I go to the doctors they'll just laugh at me. My mother would tell me to stop being stupid; that if anyone should be depressed it's her, etc. I really don't know what to do; I don't want to talk to some about it 'cause I feel stupid; I know that there are people out there in worse situations than I am, but I just feel really down, confused and fed up with everything. I have exams coming up, and I know for a fact that I am going to fail one of them. I jut have no idea what I should do; risk going to the doctors and wasting their time and getting laughed at, or just leave it and hope for the best?

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penny99 said on 15 May 2012

I think I am suffering from depression but I don't know what to do.
There has been a lot of stuff happening over the last year:
- my parents broke up
- my mum moved out of the family home then to two different houses
- my mum got a new boyfriend
- my mum revealed my dad is a transvestite and I wasnt allowed to tell my dad I knew for 6 months
- I was told lies by both my parents about the reasons for their divorce
- my dog died
- my 13 year old sister tried to kill herself by an overdose in the middle of school, as well as her having multiple trips to hospital with a bad stomach which remains undiagnosed
- my brother broke the front door at my mums house
- I failed my exams
- my dad suffers with depression
- I live with my brother and dad

I have also been struggling to get out of bed in the mornings. I find little reason to go to college. I am only 17 years old though so I'm not sure whether anyone at the local doctors will take me seriously. I have also been scratching and picking at myself for about 9 months now and I dont know if I need help or not.

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laurajaey said on 12 May 2012

I would really appreciate an opinion or some help..
I'm 16 years old. I'm on medication for headaches: Imipramine, a type of Tricyclic antidepressant. I have been putting off contacting a doctor because I think I'll just be sent away because they'll think it's these tablets affecting me. I've only been on them since the start of the year, but I feel that I've been depressed since last year, maybe since January 2011, unknowingly. I had a miscarriage just week in, I didn't know I was pregnant but I know for sure that it was a miscarriage, I had just begun using the pill, for over a week before I had sexual intercourse, for incredibly heavy irregular periods. Anyway, the miscarriage happened at school and I had to carry on like everything was normal, I haven't been able to tell any family members (like my mum) because I don't have a good relationship with them. Apart from my boyfriend, and few, very unsupportive, friends, no one else knows. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years. We have a fairly average relationship, but I believe that it's going downhill and we're about to leave school so I think we're going to end up separating due to different colleges/sixth form. I've told him that I'm struggling but he doesn't seem to take it seriously, I just feel like I'm dealing with this on my own. Right now, I'm just entering my main exams, so that's stressful as I need As in science. I have no appetite and have lost a lot of weight, I'm constantly tired, I'm tearful every day (from even the smallest of things), I have no energy and constantly feel drained. I have no interest in going out anymore with any of my friends. I'm just on a constant downer.
If I go to the doctors they'll probably just think that it's my tablets making me down, so I don't think I'll receive the help I need, but I think I've left it and have been suffering too long. Please, somebody, give me some advice. :(

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n1g3 said on 10 May 2012

I found that L carnatine helped me. It's a vitamin you can get from health food shops. I tried form the internet but the quality was not good enough. It gives one energy, helps with my mood I sleep better and so mood is better during day.

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Dijon9054 said on 09 May 2012

To anyone with depression, I overcame it using nlp and hypnotherapy. It only takes about 10 hypnotherapy sessions or 4/5 nlp sessions. Find someone in your area who specializes in depression and you'll feel better faster than you think. I wish I'd discovered these years ago.

http://www.understanding-depression-symptoms.com/how-to-overcome-depression.html

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peteh82 said on 09 May 2012

i had been suffering with depression for ten years. finally admitted it to myself a month ago. this one the first site i found. the comments here gave me the strength to go to my GP. i am now on the mend and feeling better. thank you all. if anyone out there is feeling low or futile please feel free to get in touch. Pete

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GlenLo said on 23 April 2012

Excellent piece on what depression feels like - and the light at the end of the tunnel.

http://belleabouttown.com/beauty_wellbeing/wellbeing/depression-is-not-a-dirty-word/

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MSingh92 said on 20 April 2012

I am a 20 yr old male and I have suffered from depression for about a year now. But the comforting thing is reading all your stories at least makes me feel im not alone although it feels like that everyday. I have all the symptoms above and I feel like im going to explode, i just feel so lonely, and sad I cant talk to my parents because they just don't understand me and never really have they do everything for me but even still I can't go and talk to them about anything. I dont have any friends i try really hard to make some but i have realised that no ones interested. Recently it's got worse because I have started thinking about suicide i know i can't do it but seriously sometimes I feel like just curling up in a ball and dying. But the worst thing is the feeling of loneliness and sadness, that alone is killing me inside I feel so empty. I keep thinking about goinging to the doctor but i have this feeling that I will just get laughed out. I have also started crying alot I mean i never used to cry but even over little petty things i burst into tears or sometimes it will be the complete opposite i will get so angry that I end up punching walls. I live at home but i feel as though my family have just cut me off they can't even see the sadness in my face it's horrible I feel worthless and now I am just considering ending it and getting out of this bubble im trapped in.

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Sba 77 said on 16 April 2012

aww thanks mate i'm glad you feel like me too. i feel like i really am the only one. i dont know, i think i've got aspergers, someone thought i did ages ago and other people have said it and i've got loads of the symptoms so i'm pretty certain, just need to go private to get a diagnosis - i just want someone to tell me i've got it so everything would be confirmed,but its money that i havent got plus my mum has got money and thought i had it, but i'm estranged from her and we dont get on, and i'd have to tell her i think i had it to get her to take me to see someone. So can't do that. If i did get diagnosed i can keep it a secret cause i have it subtly and people don't notice, but i'd always know i had it. It would be better for me if i just knew because it'd be a weight off my shoulder and i could just accept it.

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John22 said on 16 April 2012

- Sba 77 -

I have felt exactly the same as you and thought I was the only one, nice to know I'm not alone.

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Sba 77 said on 10 April 2012

Well i probably havent gt it, since when i do feel down it doesnt last weeks and weeks...but when it happens i feel bad. My dads gt it aswell, manic depression. I'm a 19 year old girl and i'm an only child, so nobody really to talk to plus dnt really have any family - i have only 3 people i'm really close to and that's it - and i cnt tell them everything. Recently, i've felt depressed, keep going to bed late, getting up at 2:30 everyday and always feel tired, lethargic and have no energy. Havent been out the house in like a week, theres nothing to do anyway and dont want to do anything when i'm like this. Plus, no money and no car. It's just so boring and i feel like what's the actual point of gettin out of bed? i dont want to. its such effort. Some days i just wanna go to bed n never wake up. I think that would be mint. I'm not happy. I've got three exams soon and have no motivation for revision at all. Also, feel sexually frustrated like really bad...last September it came on particularly strong and i wrote to cosmo and another place but gt nothin back. It makes it even worse cause i;'m just normal, alright looking and a nice person, fun, loving & tactile. i dont want to get used i just want a proper relationship but losing my virginity first would help cause i'm more frustrated about that. Never had a boyfriend and i just want a man, someone intelligent, articulate, loving. I don't get how at nearly 20 if you've never had anything...you can't not be frustrated...but i can't talk about this to anyone, its too embarrassing and they'd probably think its weird cause i'm a girl. A while ago, i was so distressed about it it led to insomnia and thinking about everything, worries etc One day i got up at 8:00am, went to college, came back home around 1:00pm, went to bed at 2:30pm. Got up at 6pm - still had no sleep. Then went back to bed at 8pm, was still awake at 1:00am. So i felt like rubbish. So now, i feel just apathetic, cant be bothered doing anything.

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sreepv said on 03 April 2012

dear friends,
This is to my depressed friends,..
I also was suffering from depression before and i had taken anti depressents also..but i think it is not useful and also it is having some side effects and withdrawal symptoms.
so my advice is to do yoga.. especially breathing exercise like nadi suddi pranayama,anulom vilom pranayama,bhramari,kapal pathi and bhastrika pranayama.. you can find it in search.it will be more helpful than any other medicine,,..this is from my own experience..
wish you all best wishes

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User659594 said on 25 March 2012

I am 56 suffering of bipolar disorder and depression. You are so young for that horrible pain which is depression. Most of you cry for help and me too. I don’t smoke don’t drink don’t do drugs. Don’t know is good or not but in my experience bipolar shouldn’t take that entire staff. Eat some oily smoked fish and loot of vegetables. If it may make you more depressed stop it at right time. You may help yourself to go to your GP and take some anti-depressants. It may help you but if not don’t try to stop by yourself go to your GP again. GP will tell you how to stop it. First of all be with your family if you love them and they love you, never stay alone it will kill you quickly. I have two daughters and beautiful wife and for last few weeks they never leave me alone because suicidal plan. They just save my life actually.
I cannot say avoid but be careful with organisations that say they may help you try help yourself and use people who love you. That’s all next part is what need’s to be change in future because is unhelpful or you have to stop contact with them when needed and stay with those who love if necessarily sleep at same room.
I don’t know to who dedicate attached text If it help you or those who have power over us to help us that will be great.
No next part because technical problems (only 2000 characters or less approved) and I am to tired to fight with that.

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Johnson1 said on 23 March 2012

Im 21 and suffering with depression.I didnt realise it was an ilness , ive felt low stressed I cry alot , dont go out , dont socialise.I feel horrible.I feel lonely I just want to be out this world.I dont have no family except for my mom and I live 3 hours away from her and never see her hardly.I have a couple of friends but dont see them .I moved to a new area where I dont know anyone exept my boyfriend that im with now.He is always at work as he works nights and through the day he sleeps.He loves me but dont think he understands how serious this depression is affecting my life and our relationship.OI feel worthless , I used to be a bubbly very confident sociable young woman.Now im a quiet sad lonely and hopeless individual.Ive lost interest in life.

I speak to my mom regularly on the phone as she suffers with depression too.She noticed by the way I speak I had depression and tole me to go the doctors months ago, and yesterday I finally decided I needed to go.I have been prescribed citalopram 20mg so I am going to see what effect these have.Although I worried as I read up on a lot of views and once you start taking the pills once you stop taking them you go back to how you was.I hope I get better soon.Reading everyones problems im not on my own.its tough, life is so diffucult right now.I hope I get through this.

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CountryLady said on 20 March 2012

I am 28 and feel very depressed, i have always had it there in the background, but lately it is so much worse. It is like i am in a big black cloud all the time. Bad thoughts are always in my mind, its not good. I know i should go to the doctor, i went about 2 years ago and they gave me pills, i came home but didn't take them, which was the wrong thing to do i guess, but i didn't want to be on pills even though i needed them, plus my husband didnt really want me to take them. I just keep thinking ill be alright, but some times i'm not so sure. I had an operation 3 months ago, and i think that has made my depression worse as i am in pain a lot and it gets me down.

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Grace Middle said on 20 March 2012

I have been trying for years to do something about my unhappiness. I turned 18 in October and even then I didn't celebrate. I can't remember the last time I was truely happy, but I always wonder if it's because I am suffering from something or it's me just being difficult.

Since I was in year 8 I have been having feelings of deep sadness but I've always put on a happy face to others as I hate confrontation and telling people about my feelings. When I was in year 9 I started self harming and found that I kept doing it, like it was adictive. If someone saw the scratches I would just say it was my cat.

In the past two years I have seemed to get worse, having mood swings and sudden anxiety and paranoia. I started to drink more to get rid of these feelings but I was getting ill and even worse. I tried to hint to my family that something was wrong with me but they would say things like 'nowadays everyone seems to have depression', so I just keep on thinking that I'm attention seeking.

There have been occasions where I get so paranoid and anxious that I run away to somewhere quiet, as if I'm having dellusions that something is following me. Just the other day I had one of these 'phases' and so I called my sister to come and help me. But she said that I was being stupid and attention seeking and telling me to stop. I was geninely panicking and she didn't comfort me at all. She is the one person who I thought would always be there when I needed someone the most, but she wasn't. If she can't help me then who can?

I did go to see a counceller a while ago and she told me to try and relax more by doing these different things, but since then I have dropped behind in my school work. Nothing seems to help and I'm getting worse eveyday. I have had suicidal thoughts before and I'm afraid I'll actually try and succeed it. I'm alone and terrified and have no idea what to do anymore. It's time that I took care of myself and got help, but I don't know how.

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matthew1994 said on 16 March 2012

i am 18 and i started dating my gf who is 19 a year ago she was suffering from depression and had seriously low self esteem low confidence ect it has taken me a whole year to get her thinking positivly about herself recently in the last month i have noticed a huge improvment she has been alot happier spending more time with her family and friends and not just me has been more confident and more sociable i have written this because i would like to give advice to all those people with partners who are suffering from depresion aslong as you stick with them and show them love and tell them you love them and tell them how good they are everyday and how much they mean to you and be there for them when they are depressed then eventualy it should start to change dont turn away from them or give up on them because its hard for you if you want to help them you should stick with them and do your best to show them that there is a meaning to life since my gf has started getting better ive been making plans with her ect and telling her everyday all the things i have mentioned at the begining of this text i have never been happier then i am now with my gf now she is happy her being happy has made the last year full of frustrations and depression and feeling like i cant help her has been worth it in my opinion and in my opinion if you want to help you just have to be there for them try to figure out why it is they are depressed and comfort them as much as you can alot if not most or all people with depression as most of these blogs tell me is hinderd by an extreme feeling of isolation and in some cases even just a warm smile and a kiss and letting the people know that you care for and about them and being understanding when you speak to them and encouraging them to go out and knowing when not to over do it will do the world of good <(all based on my opinions and my experieince with depression including my own at times) just dont let people suffer with this alone give support

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QBBX said on 07 March 2012

I am a 24 year old male and I've been pretty much up and down all my life but the big change came when I was 16 and something just seemed to switch off in me. I wasn't popular but I wasn't bullied either and I had enjoyed school up to that point but then everything just seemed to slide and I didn't care. I left high school and have been wandering in circles since, with people around me moving on with their lives and me appearing to stand still.

It was my birthday last month and I had a moment where I asked myself how I felt and it struck me just how empty I was. I've had times where I've felt like I've been battling this 'darkness' within me and every time I seem to get over it, I would slide back to where I started.

When I think about it I know something's affecting me and I've had my head buried in the sand the past 8 years but I've never really been sociable and I can't talk to my parents about it because I don't think they'd believe me. My friend thinks I should see my doctor but I've never self-harmed/been suicidal and I'm not sure if there is anything actually wrong with me. I feel so confused, scared and trapped that I can't bear to pick up the phone and ask for help.

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scenesector said on 01 March 2012

I'm 22 year old female, and i've suffered from depression/anxiety for over 5 years. I've been on 3 different types of medication (depending on how bad my depression is at the time). My advice for someone living with depression is to understand it is normal. you are not 'crazy'. for some reason, something in ur life/u have experienced is making you feel down. the first thing is to surround yourself with people who love you. the worst thing you can do right now is have people putting you down. see your doctor. it took me years before my mum dragged me by the hair, as i had been living with an eating disorder. it was the best thing thats ever happened to me.
making that appointment with the doctor saved my life. i was suicidal. Within a week i was contacted and started therapy straight away. people (even myself) sometimes slate the NHS, but honestly, i could not fault them with the service i received. It couldnt have been any better! the team of CBT therapists saved my life!
Unfortunately, i have realised i will never be free of depression. I've tried many things, self help books etc. I have periods where Im happier, but it is affected by my life. Recently, Ive noticed i am much stronger. as i have moved to london with my partner, and we have set up a new life. i needed a change to get away from my past which haunted me. hopefully, one day, i will be free from depression. but right now, I'm just looking after no.1 and keep myself away from 'triggering' things i.e nasty people. people are the reason for everything! Oh, and if you're feeling lonely, get a dog/cat (get 2 or 3) they will give you love and won't judge! they will bring you back to ur feet.
Learn to love yourself, and you will be able to love others.

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Anon1116 said on 26 February 2012

I'm a 17 year old girl and I think I'm suffering from depression. I've had it for a year now, and at the beginning it was at its worst I wrote suicide letters, I use to self harm and every night I would just think about how much better life would be if I was dead. You may think it's the hormones or bullying , but I have never been bullied and my hormones are under control because of the pill. I just hate myself , and life. And I can't understand why, I get less then 6 hours sleep a night because I wake up every two hours. my mum found my scars on my wrist last year and had an argument with me about how stupid it was and that I suould hide them from my step dad, and then after my friends saw and they didn't really understand me , I would just joke it off. I forced myself to feel better after that but it just recently in these couple of months got worse. I feel sick constantly , I gag all the time but never throw up, don't sleep, have thoughts about just leaving and just sitting in the woods forever. I don't know what to do because my mum thinks I'm a hypochondriac from all the illness' this is giving me and if I tell that I have depression she wouldn't believe me and think I want attention , and I could never tell my step dad as he would think I'm stupid and in just making it up. So right now I just want to leave or talk to someone that will not think I'm just having a go and actually hears me crying every night when I wake up 3 times in the morning. I just want things to get better

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Anonymous_1994 said on 26 February 2012

I am 17, I've been suffering with depression now for over the last 3 years,for many reasons. My mum also suffers from depression and many other mental illnesses... I'm not sure if this is why I'm suffering with depression myself? I've had a hard 17 years of my life for many different reasons. But the depression seems to be getting worse. I've completely gone of food and if I do eat anything I can only eat a tiny amount, also I always seem tired and never want to get out of bed to do things for friends ect! Also feeling that at times I wish I was better of dead, because life gets me so down at times, also feeling that no one cares or loves me which makes things worse. I don't have a good relationship with my family as I'm in foster care and I find it hard to talk to friends about it has they may think I'm stupid or weak, even though I know how soul destroying it actually is. I feel for everyone who suffers with it. But I do find it hard to talk to anyone about my feelings, even the people I love most, the ones that care and worry about me... I need help before it takes over further I want my life back where things were happy. Who can I talk to about this or get advise from, I admit I need help/ or someone to talk to.

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JCR21 said on 16 February 2012

To all of the people commenting here telling their personal stories, first of all thank you for sharing your experiences and we hope the information on NHS Choices is helpful.

Many of you have asked for help in your posts and I'd like to encourage you to look at the external links on the top right of this page to the many organisations which are there to provide support and guidance. It may feel like there's no one out there who can listen to you, understand your situation and offer help, but these organisations can do all of those things. The messages here also show that you're not alone in feeling as you do.

There are also forums out there where you can talk more easily than you can here to other people feeling similarly to you. For example, http://www.mentalhealth-world.org.uk/forums/ has a range of forums dealing with depression and other mental health issues.

Finally, if you are feeling at a particularly low ebb, The Samaritans are always available to talk to. You can email them on jo@samaritans.org or call 08457 90 90 90

Best wishes
John
User generated content lead, NHS Choices

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odd bodd said on 15 February 2012

i`ve been very depressed recently i feel it getting worse. i am under a mental health organisation where sombody, i don`t really open up the way i should, just recently i`ve come out of supported accomadation. i feel like i`m on my own. some days i can`t even face going out side. i take more tablets than what i should, because i can`t remember weather i took my previous lot. i`m drinking a bi more than what i should even though i don`t tell anyone else. some times i drink and calaps on the floor, but this to me is an escape. i lost my girlfriend last year, she passed away. i know that one day i won`t wake up and someone else will find me. i self harm and sometimes cut myself to much this is the voices that tell me to do that, but by drinking this gives me an escape. if only the drs and prefessionals really new what i was like. life isn`t worth living. i find my self looking for answers to the questions, but i can`t find any and do you really think a dr or shrink does, thers no hope for me, i hate my self and hate my life, but soon i`ll be at rest, then i`ll have no pain no more torture and i`ll be free.

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helpmybrain said on 15 February 2012

I am a 20 year old female and was Diagnosed about 7 years ago with depression, At this time i was going through quite alot of stress, i.e my mum getting married to a guy i didn't like ect... I just got fobbed off with some anti depressants which made me feel hopeless. So i stopped taking them and self medicated for the next 6 years with Cannabis which helped, Every time i felt suicidal or just really upset for no reason id smoke and feel better, I havnt been smoking recently due to finance but also i feel like it doesn't get to the root of the problem! Also every time i went to the doctors for other reasons they never asked me how i felt or if the depressants were working. So the past year or so ive been struggling again with Suicidal feelings, complete lack of interest in the things i love, really just general feelings of depression and anxiety and worthlessness. It all came to heads when me and my mother had a huge row and I just broke down and explained how id been feeling, she insisted i go to the doctors and Demand a referral to the mental health team and not to just be fobbed off with the pills. Needless to say the doctor just tried getting me to take the pills for 3 months and see how i felt. I refused and said i needed help. So its been a month now and the feelings are getting worse and worse. I just feel like i cant leave the house and this is effecting my studies. Ive got my assessment next week to see what help i need but i don't feel like its soon enough. Its nice (i know this sounds horrible) to see other people feel the same as me, and find it frustrating that the NHS does try and help but its generic treatment, I hope this counseling works and if they recommend i take the pills then i will but i don't just want tablets and to be sent home. I NEED HELP! I need to know how to deal with things, how not to break down and cry in town if they don't have the face cream i wear, or they short change me. Does any one know of any websites or forums? Thanks!

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angel2010 said on 12 February 2012

I'm amazed at just how many comments there are on this subject. First of all i just want to say how much i admire the likes of yskf and Anonymous_04 at such a young age to have the courage to ask for help. I've been depressed for over 20 years and finally at 33 i've only just been able to beg for help at my GPs. I'm not sure what form or strain of depression I have (even my counsellor isn't sure) but one thing she is sure of is that i am depressed along with suffering from extreme low self esteem and anxiety. Its ruined my life. In a nutshell I'm a paranoid nervous wreck, i feel like everyone hates me literally. Some days i just don't want to leave the house and when i do its the biggest challenge, i can barely look people in the eye because i feel like the world is out to get me. I've had trouble holding down jobs, relationships. Everyday normal life is a living hell. My husband thinks I'm mad for only just seeking help but til now i just thought this was 'just the way i am' and I couldn't be helped. To be honest I got so used to feeling like this I couldn't imagine life being any other way but people who care about me know i must be living a horrible nightmare. All i can say is if you have any of the signs/symptoms. Get help. Don't be embarrassed or afraid. Look how many comments are on here. There's so many people suffering. Its so common. Especially nowadays with the economy there's more than ever despairing. Don't suffer in silence. You can be helped. I am receiving CBT at the moment and have been doing for about 6 months. Sometimes i break down and sob in therapy because i know 20 years of my life that i'll never get back has been ruined and i'm permanently scarred. I feel like no one can help and want to give up but i'm persevering and trying to be positive. I know one day I will get better.

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georgina_mary_ said on 10 February 2012

I've recently split with my boyfriend - i had been with him for a year and 4 months before i found out that he had been stealing from my family for all that time! We have been seperated for a month now and i have avoided to see my friends, i have a councillor to talk about my depression and every weekend i do absolutely nothing.. like i used to before i met my boyfriend.. i know for a fact i have depression but i'm too scared of talking about it to my family, friends or doctor! I don;t know what type i have or anything.. :( D;

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yorkshirerachel said on 09 February 2012

i think what could be useful is if there was a place we could all go to chat, such as a forum so that we can all support each other and share our stories. does anyone know of one?
im 24, i have been on citalopram 40mg for a couple of years now after finally seeking help, i've had CBT through the nhs which was fantastic but i'm living away from home now to finish my studies and im struggling. i feel very isolated and stressed a lot of the time, but outwardly at work i can seem ok. I do wonder whether i will ever really feel like i've come out of the other side of depression fully, i can't even remember what that feels like but try very hard to take things day by day. some days are good, some days i wish i could write off completely and just sleep. i don't sleep well at all, and that has a major effect. it's very frustrating. anyway from my experience i do have advice to offer and i would certainly appreciate some advice or someone to talk to who understands and is non-judgemental, so if anyone knows of a website where we can chat about stuff, please let me know!

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missmax said on 05 February 2012

i have been depressed for over ten years but for the last 3 months i have left my flat i feel so lonely and alone i have no family or friends i hate being like this people and advise web sites say get a hobby go to a class join a group how can you do this with depression and were do you go liberies have a few groups and classes but mainly for older people i cant cope going to shop on my own never mind joining groups

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PMZZZ said on 02 February 2012

yskf
First of all you have to talk to your parents and the ones close to you. This is not a burden you can bear alone.

I myself have along with a friend made an ad-free site for people where they can discuss depression.

What I learned from making this site along with others with a depression is that you have to have someone to talk to about it, professionel or not.

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yskf said on 22 January 2012

I am 18, have been depressed for about 3 years for numerous reasons. I'm so used to it, I can't imagine my life without it. It's getting worse and worse and affecting my life greatly. I change my mind 50 times just to plan to go out shopping with a friend. I've finally realised that I need to speak to someone, but who?

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Anonymous_04 said on 19 January 2012

I'm 19 and I've been suffering with depression and anxiety for about 3-4 years. Its taken a long time to admit that i am depressed and i'm finally getting help for it.
Its been extremely hard to find someone to confide in as I'm only young, through my teenage years my family put it down to a part of growing up even though i was crying out for help, now i am diagnosed they still find it extremely hard and frustrating to understand my mentality and tend to tip toe around me. I know that others think I'm completely useless and that's how i feel most days.
Since going to my GP I've been gradually getting better, although the tablets I'm on make me extremely tired and knock me out completely most days for a few hours. But i am very appreciative of the nhs as they have been bending over backwards to help me and everyone that i have spoken to has been extremely helpful and very nice.
It really does help to just speak to someone and for someone to tell you that you are in fact ill.

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Dan1992 said on 10 January 2012

Porgysummertime.

Another I wish I could speak to privately!

What you have isn't unusual. There's plenty of people you can speak to.

I have recently been referred by my GP to counselling services. I've only had 1 session so far but I advise it.

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Dan1992 said on 10 January 2012

mw17 - I wish I could speak to you privately. It's difficult to deal with someone with depression. They will feel you don't understand and it'll make them angry, They won't enjoy things and it'll get you down. Sometimes it can come out of nowhere but there's most likely a trigger (even if it's small). Hope you look here again.

I'm 19 and have anxiety but display many of the tendencies listed here. I have a pretty good life and there's no reason for me to have any of the issues I do have. Lots of friends, girlfriend, Uni etc. But I just do. Some days I can't even get up. Some days I want to die. And it's the deepest feeling I have felt. Today I have only left the house to go to work and tomorrow will probably be the same. I cry for no reason. And the worst thing is it's completely self-absorbed, as I have as already stated no reason to be this way.

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porgysummertime said on 08 January 2012

i'm 18, i've always felt like things have affected me more than others, Things that upset me, that i should be able to let go of, still effect me for weeks/months and even years. The way i was treated by some girls in the last few years of high school still brings me to tears now 2 years later ;for example even though it is long in the past and i hardly see them. I come from quite a large family who have never really had many issues however in the past year, i've felt like the odd one out and whenever they'd upset me all i'd get in response was remarks like 'drama queen' etc. so i decided to just remove myself from the situation when i felt i was going to cry. it didn't help me but it stopped the situation from becoming worse. In the past, 8 months i met someone and we have been dating since. He suffers from depression and it has never been a problem, the only problems it has caused is my friends have left me because of social differences(they want to go out to clubs to meet boys) and my family don't approve of him because he doesn't join in on their 'social' events. What they don't realise is that he does try but still struggles. In the past 6 months, i have no friends at college, i have suffered from glandular fever and IBS alongside other complications meaning i have missed a lot of college, but despite catching up the teachers still treat me like i'm someone who can't be bothered. i feel like giving up on everything, i always feel tired. Sometimes i just want to stay in bed all day and other times i can't sleep at all. I always feel like i need to cry whenever i'm confronted with anything. I used to feel like a strong person but for the past few years i've completely changed.I find it hard to get through the weeks and suicidal thoughts often occur although i couldn't do it to my family or boyfriend. I try to focus on anything i'm doing at the weekend but if that fails i become a wreck. I can't talk to anyone about it. I'm struggling which has brought me here

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dept said on 05 January 2012

If anyone is suffering due to a member of their family or a friends' heavy alcohol drinking please go to your local group of AL ANON.

Meeting up in a group setting with other people who have grown up or live with a heavy drinker can give you valuable insight into the problem and furthermore can give you the strength to cope with the past and help with YOUR future.

You can find a local group in Thompson Local or online.

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mw17 said on 03 January 2012

my boyfriend is 17 and had been diagnosed with depression. By reading the information on this page he has serious depression, and has had it for a while but has only just gotten help. I know people suffer with depression in their own way and i know that i will never fully understand exactly what he is going through, but i do no he has had a very difficult childhood.
I want to help him through this but i don't know how? it upsets me to see him upset and its putting pressure on me, i'm confused because i don't understand how this has just occured and i just want to know how i can help him? i feel helpless because i dont no what he is going through, and i want to understand but i don't, and im worried that him being like this will eventually get me down. I just want to no how to cope with some with depression?

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Nic 40 said on 31 December 2011

This is for "confused17yearold" as I was feeling exactly the same way when I was 17,I'm now 40.At seventeen I had no one to talk to,my mother was an alcoholic and my father was a depressive.I was their counsellor and shoulder to cry on.We lived quite an isolated life and I had no one to confide in,no grandparents,no aunties or uncles and I felt as though my friends wouldn't understand so didn't confide in them.However, now at the age of 40,having gone through several counselling sessions, having been on anti depressants and some life coaching, the one big piece of advice I would give my seventeen year old self would be to find someone to talk to, some to confide to.There are a whole raft of people out there that just want to hear your problems/issues so that they can help you.A friend, teacher, relative, doctor.The old adage a problem shared is a problem halved is so true.I was 31 before I confided to a doctor, and the outcome has been so wonderful, I wish that I had done it years earlier.Depression is so destructive. internalising and imploding, but if you can find a small opportunity to reach out for help you'll benefit from this long term.For me, the depression has not gone away,but the times in between are so much more enjoyable as I now have the tools to get excited and involved in life instead of the self perpetuating misery that depression can insist you experience.You are a lovely seventeen year old, with studies, a boyfriend and friends to aid you on your way in life.What you need and must do is allow your boyfriend to hold you when you are weak,allow your friends to make you laugh when you are sad and allow yourself time, space and love when you are depressed.Learn to recognise the signs of your depression.My signs are that I can't look after myself, the kitchen ends up looking like a tip and I don't shower for a week.It's not much to go by,but I know to slow down and to be kind to myself for a few days.Life can be lovely,find a way to be happyx

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Freewheeler said on 30 December 2011

As someone who does not (i think) suffer with depression just occasional feelings of sadness, i have had a recent event in my life which has made me take an interest.
I cannot empathize with those of you who do suffer but think its very brave to express your feelings openly. Your open expressions i have found very helpful at the moment. One thing i would like to say is i believe its important to have a purpose in life and to have interests such as physical activities (appreciate this is easier said than done). Also remember that (hopefully) everyone has someone who loves them and would be destroyed if you were gone. Take care and good luck.

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JSexton said on 19 December 2011

I'm Really concerned that i may be depressed, im 16 and just about to start all my GCSE exams but i cant seem to concentrate on anything, in all lessons i just feel like a zombie nothing goes in, I also find myself zoning out. What i mean by this is people will talk to me and i just wont hear them. As well as this i seem to be getting more and more short tempered, for example during a maths lesson i got so annoyed and frustrated that i just got up and walked out, which I totally out of character for me. Also when i do have the angry spells and people notice I just try and cover it all up, gloss it over, pretend nothing is wrong when i just feel awefull inside. I dont kow whether it means anything buti have the tendancy to think negitively for everything whether it about my exams or about how I see myself, I hav a habbit of thinking that im not liked and sometimes I even feel pariniod.
I dont know what to do, I am afraid if I tell anyone how I feel that they will just say its stress because of exams and I will ge over things, but I dont think it is. Last time I felt like this was when I was thirteen, I had no exams and I just exploded, I took all my anger out on all my friends at school, it got to the point when they were all worried about me and I felt terrible afterward, I just was fed up with everything and I couldnt take it anymore.

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confused17yearold said on 06 December 2011

Im 17 and confused.
I constantly feel down and upset, i often find myself crying for no reason too. I take everything out on my boyfriend, and have even tried and repeatedly consider self harming. I dunno what im meant to do. I hate the aggressive person im turning into, especially as this is all having a knock on effect to my college work, and at this rate i wont get into uni. I feel like a constant burden to my boyfriend, and feel the need to just shout at him, and when he tries to help i cry and tell him to leave me alone. I cant explain the way i feel but i know something needs to change. I constantly feel tired and run down, and lack motivation for practically everything.
My mum ever since 2007 has drank large amounts of alcohol each night and i witness her basically killing herself. My dad had a health scare back in july, and i thought she'd change but i was wrong. I sit alone at night crying trying to get to sleep and forget about everything but cant. I just want to be relieved of all this. Anybody care to help me please? im getting really frustrated and think im silly going to the doctors, thanks.

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Jxxxxxxxxxxxx said on 06 December 2011

I've been 'diagnosed' with depression, but I don't feel diagnosed, I feel like I've been given a label so that I can receive generic treatment regardless of whether or not its right. I was living in Hull when I sought help for depression for the second time, and was asked to answer some questions about my feelings over the past 2 weeks. This determined what was wrong with me, and I was prescribed anti-depressants. I was also placed on a 6 month waiting list for counseling. When it finally came up I didn't feel it helped, I just spoke about my tendencies, and the guy gave long awkward pauses when speaking to me that made me want the ground to swallow me up! The process was confusing, I often found myself missing appointments, going to the wrong clinic, struggling to contact him and overall it was quite stressful.
I actually feel like a bit of a fraud, like its not depression its just the way I am and always will be. I worry about how people perceive me because I often say insensitive or inappropriate things, then beat myself up about it and tell myself I'm nasty and worthless. Its like my fingers type or my mouth speaks before my brain has chance to engage, and at the time I think its ok to say or type these things, then realise later its not and spend ages crying and often hurting myself. I also get angry at tiny things, like something not being cooked right, or other peoples noise, and again I cry, break things, hurt myself, and shout at my boyfriend. He is very understanding but I don't feel I can tell anybody else. Maybe because I don't feel its an illness, so telling someone would be like saying 'oh by the way, I'm an idiot and want you to feel sorry for me because of it!' I get told to get exercise, eat well, keep busy, but I am a dancer so already do all of these things. I feel like I'm not bad enough to receive much help, but too bad to fit into society as a normal person. I feel very alone and like it will never get better unless it gets worse first

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lld88 said on 27 November 2011

im 22 yrs old and about 4 weeks ago i lost my job and every since then the feelings of failure and worthlessness and gotten worse. i can sit and cry for no reason. i try and watch the tv and all i seem to do is constantly look at the clock wanting the time to pass. i feel ok when i have the motivation to distract myself but when im alone, i feel alone again. i feel like im not good enough.

i guess i started feeling this way about 6 months ago but they've just gotten worse in the last 4 weeks. im too scared to tell anyone that im unhappy. can someone help me?

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suesometimes said on 18 November 2011

LB555 - you sound exactly like me 30 years ago.
You've probably already done a personality test like myers-briggs, but when I first did this and found that I was an introvert and not just odd it was wonderful! I read agreat book called 'The Introvert Advantage' and it changed my life. Do some confidence building courses, even if they are on CD or video they'll help.
Things will get better, but you have to understand yourself and give yourself the same breaks you'd give to other.
All these years later and I'm a confident (?) public speaker, but I still find it difficult to make a phone call, and sometimes cross the street to avoid someone I really like, cos I can't think what to say. But, I don't beat myself up over it so much. (Maybe I am a little odd too, but when you talk to people there are a lot of us about)

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Longtime said on 17 November 2011

It's time I faced up to all this and dealt with it properly. I'm in my 40's and all my problems stem back to my earliest childhood. I can really relate to a lot of people's problems from their comments on here and feel I'm at the problem point. Again.. This time it's almost as if I don't care anymore. It's too much and I've just about had my fill. So the question is, is there sufficient fight left in me, is there strength there to carry on or do I do the selfish thing and check out. Permanently. I have the ability to make people happy, but don;t like being around people and then I feel lonely. I have a terrible memory, always have done since a child and I've been up and down in my moods my entire life. I have a good profession, one where depression is in fact common place, 1 in 4 apparently and like nearly all people who post on here, I can't see it getting better. I've been here before and I've got through it before. And I actually felt happy for a while. It just seems every time I get on with it and start to progress life seems to give me another kicking. Writing on here is so self indulgent but by doing so I hope that someone else will see something in themselves and know that they are also not alone in this. It's a solitary illness, because we make it so. I need the simple, cheap option to happiness and know it doesn't exist. I've just taken the free bi-polar and depression tests and apparently no to bi-polar, but moderate to severe depression probably Dysthymia. I'm scared of admitting this again, telling work, again, telling family, again. It just never seems to go away. 30 years of depression is too much wouldn't you agree? So, and I say this to all who have taken the time to read this, we can be happy, it's an illness and we need help in treating that illness. Think I just talked myself in going to see the GP. Think you should as well. Wish me luck. Remember, You are not alone in this.

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LB555 said on 17 November 2011

I'm a 19 year old girl and am a uni student.

I don't go out partying or socialise in any way, not because I hate people but because I fear I am not good enough for hanging out with these people.

Any inconvenience I come across e.g horrendous drivers cutting me up on roundabouts, I stress out about from the rest of the day up to months at a time, depending on what the bad situation was. Other people just say 'oh they are just so and so's just forget them and move on'. For some reason I find this too difficult and wish I could just forget it with a smile like a lot of people I know apparently do.

I miss a lot of uni due to fear of being in rush hour traffic and being on my own in a public area.

My days are usually spent doing the same things at home on my own and I wish I had the confidence to do more things as I know this would probably lift my mood.

I go to therapy but have missed the last appointment and am scared to ring her back as for some reason I fear talking on the phone to people(!?).

I have always had anxiety flare up every couple of years (I remember it beginning at a very young age, at least to my knowledge), to the point where I'd run away from what I found scary situations and just cry, people probably thought I was weird but I couldn't control it. I still do it now, especially if I get embarrassed.

I am a healthy young person with a loving family, so why can't I just say SCREW YOU to the people who I think want to cause me harm and have the confidence to make really good experiences happen?

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tsw93 said on 15 November 2011

I feel like I have been depressed for about over a year now. I'm an 18 year old girl and my background isn't the best at all, I have been abused for years and my parents are alcoholics, although they strongly deny it. I feel like im stuck with everything. A few months ago i suffered a miscarriage which no one takes serious just because im young and the pregnancy wasnt planned. My boyfriend is amazing he is the only person in the world i can talk to but id rather keep my emotions to myself cause i know he worries about me and stresses him out. Im so tired all day and all night, i only want to sleep but it takes hours for me to drop off at night and even then i wake up lots n have terrible nightmares. I have no motivation to do anything I have no appetite i just want to curl up in a ball and sleep all day and night. I have lost weight and feel repulsive whenever i see myself and although people insist differently, i cant seem to see. The only reason i can type this now is because nobody can see me or my emotions, im far too scared to talk to a doctor in person as ive always been told to keep my emotions inside, but i just want to be happy. Im so sick of the thoughts and emotions in my head i cant remember the last time I went to sleep with dry eyes. Is it worth me talking to my doctor? If anyone can help id be so grateful, thankyou

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CamDobson said on 10 November 2011

I've joined this site to make one point; although i understand that the nhs has helped alot of people; personally i feel that it has made everything for me worse not better. Since i was 9 i have pushed for help and it has either been ignored, disregarded, and they have tried to do things which damaged me further and i have not felt strong enough to return. I am currently waiting on therapy for psychosis and have found that regardless of what im seeing and hearing; nothing is considered important enough to give me help or medicate me. I told them i felt terrified, at risk, and asif others were at risk and that i didnt feel as if i could wait the '6months' for therapy after only getting sessions months apart. I have waited at least double the time estimated for each individual step and the condition is getting severly worse with each day, i have found myself self harming again in my sleep; but as long as i still wake up, shower and get dressed; i get nothing from the mental health side of our medical system. But what am i meant to do in the meantime other than regress into a state of talking to people that arent there, terrified of falling asleep due to the things that haunt me? if anyone has advice, it would be so much appreciated, but i am not in a giood place and will not listen to a load of crap ive heard a million times before. I am however happy for those that get help (: I hope you all feel better soon

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butterflysugar said on 25 October 2011

Some people on here have said that they think they have depression or do have depression but they don't want to end up on anti depressants - the answer is to never underestimate the human mind. I had severe depression for years, possibly bi polar - my parents were alcoholics, I always knew I was "different" from other kids, things just didnt phase me, I didn't get grossed out by stuff, I didn't get scared of horror films, I just didn't care about the things other kids cared about because I was too busy worrying about myself and what was happening with me parents. I took a bad overdose when I was around 13, I threw up for about 4 days straight, nobody even called the doctor, and I used to cut myself obsessively, I once counted over 200 cuts on my body (though i'll say most of them weren't too deep, but I'm still covered in small scars)...I'm now 20. I've grown up believing that depression is a state of mind rather than an "illness." A state of mind can be changed without medication...It's a long hard road but the only help I ever got was one councelling session. I no longer cut myself, I haven't attempted suicide in years. Although I wouldn't say I was "stable" as such, I still have mood swings, still get annoyed with things that I shouldn't and I'm still unphased by some things I should be, But I believe I'm getting better all the time. I know longer want to take my life, I want to live it! A double up side to this is sometimes if I get down, which is perfectly natural, I can think to myself "Yes, but look at what I've lived through....am I a drug addict? No...Am I suicidal? No...Am I wasting my life? No." I know there are people out there who have been through far less than me but still seem to find an excuse to waste their lives. I'm now in my second year of college on a course I enjoy, and I'm planning to go to uni soon. It's hard as hell but stay strong, it's completely worth it. :)

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Another Passive Recipient said on 23 October 2011

Read about brain damage & benzodiazepines (Independent)
there's a report the Govt. knew these drugs 30 years ago
what these drugs do. The file won't be opened until 2014
- research into these psychotropic drugs - Why?
Research medications / hospitals "Locals papers" - to see just how bad some are.
Antidepressants there's a high risk of suicide in the first 3 months of taking them.
Anti - psychotics lead to tardive deskinesia
& much more
Illnesses are voted on in the psychiatric handbook in USA
Be careful - playing around with brain chemicals is only theory and ruins / damages people & life

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Another Passive Recipient said on 23 October 2011

Read about brain damage & benzodiazepines (Independent)
there's a report the Govt. knew these drugs 30 years ago
what these drugs do. The file won't be opened until 2014
- research into these psychotropic drugs - Why?
Research medications / hospitals "Locals papers" - to see just how bad some are.
Antidepressants there's a high risk of suicide in the first 3 months of taking them.
Anti - psychotics lead to tardive deskinesia
& much more
Illnesses are voted on in the psychiatric handbook in USA
Be careful - playing around with brain chemicals is only theory and ruins / damages people & life

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Another Passive Recipient said on 22 October 2011

Remember Benzodiazipines worsen or trigger depression / cause psychosis
Depression can get better on it's own - many GP doctors jump in & make you a zombie and much more.
There is no test for depression - Psychiatry is based on theory plus has a bad past. NHS treatment is stuck
in the victorian era in some area's
Ensure you get a good consultant, if necessary go private / also ensure you have a MRI
Don't be fooled you've got to get worse to get better,
or you're getting worse when it's medication.
or it has to be treated - but in india where they've got a better recovery rate - don't have theses drugs (Anti depressants / Benzodiazipine) the brain if chemically imbalanced (Theory) Might just sort itself with rest.
Look at all options first / CES machines have no side effects. Ask your pharmacist don't rely on your GP
they have little knowledge on drugs.

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FunnyFox said on 20 October 2011

Hay N19 if your about.
1. Stop drinking its a depresent
2. Try to get out and do the sports you enjoy.
3. Try and enjoy the little things.
4. Most off all.... Get your self to your GP.

I wont say thik positivaly because you have to think about that. changes in lifestyle can make a huge difference. Before you say what does this bloke know, I have depresion, and I have a lot of reasons to be depressed. Its not nice at all but I keep going and enjoy what things I can.

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CKnox said on 20 October 2011

I know about depression and have suffered over the years. I know find that exercise is the best thing for me. The happy hormones or whatever they are called work for me!

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N19 said on 16 October 2011

Im new to this. I think I maybe depressed any help advice would be good. I finished University a year ago and up untill this month have only just achieved my aim of getting a full time job due to start next month. I have had to continue working 6 days a week in a retail job that I hate. This as you can imagine does not pay well and I have had money worries. I lost my grandad to cancer last year and my nan has since fallen ill. My mother suffers from bipolar and various other mental health issues and lives in care. My 7 year relationship with my now ex girlfriend ended recently with noway of it returning I still love her very much but she wants nothing to do with me. I live by myself and have been spending alot of time on my own. Since the breakdown of my relationship with my girlfriend I have lost interest in playing sport and other social activities. I have a close group of friends but where there lives have improved and moved on to better things , mine has stayed the same. this has led me to talk less to them. I have been talking less and less to people and have lost my sense of fun . I have been drinking more to help combat the emptyness left in my life. I was once an outgoing happy guy and always looked for the positives in life. I am know confused as to why so many bad things have happened in a short space of time. I dont feel right talking to my friends or my dad about it but im sure they have all noticed the change in me and my rapid decline in personality. Any advice would help

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LadyBatha said on 13 September 2011

I'm 17 years old and I became ill with clinical depression in late July 2009, 4 months after my mum was diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer. My dad was also suffering and turned to alcohol. She died almost exactly a year later, in which time I had received professional help from a nearby family consultation clinic. Even with the worries that my dad was creating and pressure from college, I managed to pull through with the help of my medication (fluoxetine) and counselling. Soon after I had 'recovered' from this awful hand that life had dealt me, my dad moved away to be with his new woman. I was given perhaps a week to move out, so I now live with my boyfriend and his wonderful family. I felt happy.

One year later and I feel as if I'm back to where I started. It's almost as if I'm locked away in my own bedroom, afraid to go outside or talk to people. I can't sleep properly, eat, find the motivation to do anything. I've not been back to college to finish my A-Levels. I sometimes feel that it would be better if I wasn't here, I'm nothing but a nuisance. Got a doctors appointment next week, but I'm afraid this is only the start. I'm not sure that depression ever leaves you.

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Ianto said on 11 September 2011

I suffer from bipolar which I had diagnosed about 12 years ago. I only take medication for mild depression. But tonight the manic side really came out. I've hit out again very badly at my partner which I feel terrible yet again,he does cope with me very well. I've treated my partner terribly over the last 2 weeks. This is not the worst.

But why, why, why, why did I actually get my cat out of his bed? hit his back side, pick him up cover his face carrying him, open the door and throw him out. I am feeling so much worse, it has happened many, many years ago to another cat. I have not been cruel as to inflict pain or hurt or harm either cat. I'm so desperately worried I could. The depressive side has been there for about 3 weeks. What is going on with me? I love that cat so very much,but how can I do that? I have rescued cats and donated to animal charities too. Why did I hit out???? HELP

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sushil said on 01 September 2011

Why is it when you read about depression it is classed as a serious illness, but if you mention it to someone they look at you as if your " just a bit sad" . Suffering from it myself for the last 18 years i know how soul destroying it actually is.

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newt60 said on 30 August 2011

I was on citalopram 10mg last year for about 4 months due to something which happened in my life which I have never really recovered from. I've just finished uni, and am living on my parents' sofa...I'm working but its an internship so will be leaving there next week and haven't got another job yet. My parents are constantly nagging me, and i can't have a social life after work as I have a 10pm curfew even though I'm 22, but I can't afford to move out. The past 2 weeks I've found myself crying every day, and just feeling like I can't face things at all. I don't know whether to talk to the doc about going back on citalopram. What happened last year has come back again as well, and I'm really not coping. I can't talk to my parents because I feel like they won't understand. I'm just so lonely and feel like complete rubbish all the time. What should I do?

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arobertson1 said on 29 August 2011

I've only been to the doctor a few times in the last ten years and I have no intention going now - I'm just not that type of person. Unless I'm in pain or something needs treating I will reluctantly go.

Lately I can't sleep. My concentration is poor - I forget what I'm talking about mid conversation. Ironically I feel tired but just can't sleep! Some days I'm fine, other days I can't work out how to tie my shoe laces.

I have large mood swings - sometimes the most trivial thing sends me into a rage and then I don't want to do anything. I have deliberately started avoiding people just so that I don't upset them. Needless to say I have lost a few friends and even some of my family don't talk to me.

I'm self employed - work is relatively steady. I have a wife and child. I don't have financial worries. So what's the problem?

This is really messing my life up now and I have to get this under control. I never used to be like this either - it's only been in the last six months.

I'm not interested in pills or a counsillor (let's face it - it's just lip service). but I do know exercise and diet can help.

I like cycling (haven't done it for a while now), but what's best - fast and short or long and steady? Is heart rate a factor?

Diet wise, I do eat healthy foods, but which are best? Is meal frequency / portion size a factor?

I do drink but to be honest I wouldn't miss it if I felt more "me".

I would appreciate any advice suggestions - today was a good day. Two weeks ago I couldn't work out if I was left or right handed.

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Forgetmenot21 said on 21 August 2011

I’m new to this website!
Having read many of the comments left on here I no longer feel so alone. Reading other peoples experiences & feelings that are similar to those I experience myself puts my mind at ease in a way as there are others who feel that way too. It’s horrible knowing that there are so many individuals out there who suffer from the curse that is depression. In my eyes it is like the demon himself has taken over your life & in all honesty no good person deserves to go through it.
I’m 21 & I’ve been suffering from depression for 5 years although when I look back the build up of it all began with the bullying I suffered when I started Secondary school & the loneliness I suffered for too many years because of it. I know for a fact that the pressure of my GCSE’s was too much for me too. I managed to keep myself together throughout that time, however I knew I wasn’t coping. There’s pressure put on you by the teachers & then I had my own worst enemy (myself) who just wanted to succeed, I was terrified of letting myself down! There were occasions towards the end of year 11 where I would be revising or after spending hours on my art work I would just throw it all across the room, scream/cry & panic. I’ve always been conscientious & hardworking; always doing my best & it paid off, I passed my exams. I never wanted straight A’s; all C’s would have been good enough for me! I got 2 D’s, 1 B, an A* & 5 C’s which I’m proud of but I know all of that pressure didn’t do my state of mind any good at all!

I built up the courage to tell a doctor how I had been feeling when I was 18, as many of you can understand it is so difficult to come to terms with your emotions & make sense of how your feeling along with being so confused, you’re constantly thinking you’re going mad too, I was scared of telling a so called professional in case they had me locked up! To be continued....

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katjavm said on 20 August 2011

I'm +/- 26 weeks pregnant and have been feeling very low for a couple of weeks now. I don't know why. I have a fiance who loves me very much, we just recently moved into a nice little house with 2 bedrooms, etc. I suffered a nervous breakdown a couple of years ago, and I have done a course of CBT which helped me in the past. I have an appointment with my GP next week and I hope I will get good information and care as I am desperate to snap out of out, I hate feeling so low and crying all the time.

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PBW said on 19 August 2011

I agree with the total lack of understanding of this illness. My depression started when my brother died of a knife wound, my wife had an affair as she couldnt cope and thus the marriage went up in smoke.

I attended work throughought and then started to be late, became irritable, skin disorders, 2 hours sleep a night for two years etc, im sure everybody here will recognise the symptons only the histories change.

However my employers then decided to try to sack me. Thus depression became severe etc.

However its only when you stop and realise that all people on here are worth 10 times the people who dont want to understand. It is harder not to be angry than to be angry and i havent always manged it, but as my 17 year old son said, Sometimes you have to try to be the better person.

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VeeJJayjay said on 19 August 2011

I've been tryin to get help for depression from my GP for about 2 years, the only problem is he speaks very little english and doesn't understand what im asking him for. most the time i leave with a repeat prescription for pain medications im on (bad back) because i get tired of trying to explain to him in simple terms so just say i want more pills. Can't switch GPs either cause im not in the catchment area for any others nearby.
People always assumes you're bein dramatic when you open up to them a bit and tell them you're depressed. No one seems to want to acknowledge that some people don't feel good 9/10 times. I won't be trying to get help from the GP again until i have a new one. it took me 7 years to pluck up the courage to ask him and if im still round bu the time im in the catchment area for another i'm gonna make sure i dont have the only doctor in the surgery who's main language is Nigerian.

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whats the point said on 13 August 2011

why if you say to someone anyone you think your depressed they dont help you when you say you hear voices in your head they look at you like your crazy nhs gps are mostly rubbish the ones i seem to see anyhow are one refered me to see a psychiatrist for some reason when there people out there that need to see one more than i do i sort my things out in my head i tell myself everyday my feelings, thoughts, voices are in my head and arent really anythink only me it works for me has done for years

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yvonne23 said on 12 August 2011

I am a 23 yr old female and i have 3 children. I had my first child at 16 and have felt low ever since. my second child was born when i was 19 and my third child when i was 21. I knew i had depression 5 yrs ago. My husband who is 20 yrs older than me believes thereis no such thing so i never seeked help and just told myself i was silly and that i should pull myself through it. i had 3 kids and i felt selfish to be depressed. I was wrong i went to the doctor 3 months ago and she prescribed me tablets. These tablets did not seem to help and i went back for more help. I had to see a councillor who unfortunately i didn'ty connect with. Since i have stopped seeing my councillor and started drinking heavily. I took an overdose last weekend. Fortunately i am ok but i have been back to my doctors who is trying to helpme. If you suffer with depression fight for the help you need don't give up because when they provide help for your circumstances it does help.

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Genny55 said on 07 August 2011

I don't know if I'm depressed. I know I'm lonely. Have no one I can talk to. I was recently made redundant from a job I loved after a very long time and I can't find other work or all I've been offered is low paid stuff that I know I can do better than. I cry alot of the time, I see no hope for the future and I just want to close my eyes and not wake up all the time. There's no one in my family who knows how I feel either. I desperately want to snap myself out of it but I can't. I don't have any of the things I wanted when I was younger. No family of my own or children & we are a family who don't discuss feelings..

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east anglian said on 07 August 2011

NishaaaR - you need to speak to someone about how you are feeling, it sounds like you are suffering from depression which is very common and you can get help to get better if you speak to your GP or a counsellor at school, or explain to your parents how you are feeling. Please don't let it drift, my son had depression at the same age as you and ignored it and its badly affected him, he had to defer his final year at university because of it and it made him thoroughly miserable. If he'd got help when he was your age it could all have been sorted out. You can sort this out but you need to speak to someone about it - Good luck!!

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NishaaaR said on 03 August 2011

I'm a 17 year old girl. I've been suffering from depression for a solid 6 months. It doesn't seem much, but it has affected me a lot. I don't really speak to people outside of my private life. I forcefully get up to go to school, but I'm always late because I have no motivation to go, but I want to do well. Then, depression got worse when I found out I was anaemic and that I had Kidney stone. Since then, I've been ignoring most people from my life. On top of that, I just cry because I think nobody cares about me (including parents), that's the way I'm treated I guess.

My sleeping patterns are out of control. At one point, before my AS exams started I ended up doing all-nighters before every one of my exams, which made me more stressed out. Also, my parents force me to go Kung-Fu with their motivation (I train 5 times a week). But, since it's closed for the whole of August, i've realized I'm becoming more angrier and I tend to keep it to myself.

Since the start of the summer holidays, all I do is get up, shower and then go back straight to bed a lie there doing nothing. I don't like going out either, I just fear i'll be judged and that I have no-one. I have no motivation to do anything or have the courage to speak to many people anymore. This whole depression thing came out of no-where and I don't know what triggered it. My parents don't know what's going on and they'll think I'm talking rubbish. I just want some sort of help/advice to get me through this.

I don't know what I want to do in life anymore, as I just think negatively. Which is quite sad, but true.

Please can you reply back. There's a lot more I can say, but it won't fit.

Nisha

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ziggyplayedguitar said on 31 July 2011

kateshire - you must talk to someone about whats going on, Have you a decent teacher who you could confide in. Why does your dad says he hates you. Strong words - but might be just said in the heat of the moment. have you told your mom how unhappy you are darling. You cannot keep this locked up inside you. You are far too young to carry so much pain. Maybe if your mom knew what all this arguing was doing to you, she would change the situation. Please hang on in there, but remember that your opinion and happiness is just as important as anyone elses and you deserve the right to be heard and respected.

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kateishere said on 31 July 2011

I am a 14 year old teenager with depression. i think I've had it for about 6 months now. i had anorexia a year ago, and when i recovered i felt ashamed of my body. to cope, i turned to food. i ate whatever i could find. even though i still weighed myself 2 or 3 times a day and could see i was getting bigger, i still continued eating. i became less sociable, more tired, less active and show all the typical symptoms. i began to feel like i wasn't part of the group and that i was a freak. my mum and dad fight all the time and my dad often tells me he hates me and swears at me. i get on well with my sister but i don't want to tel her because she won't understand it. i feel like the walls around me are caving in. i feel like my future is not going to be a good one and i feel sad.

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miyeong said on 27 July 2011

I am having a pretty bad spout of depression at the moment. I cry every day, sometimes for hours. I cry when I'm going to sleep at night and as soon as I wake up in the morning. I feel exhausted and unmotivated and I find it so hard to concentrate on anything. It is now quite seriously impacting on my life. My biggest worry is what to tell my employers. I really don't feel well enough to go to work, when I am there I am barely getting anything done. I feel too guilty and embarrassed to phone in sick but I have to tell them something.

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Almajo88 said on 25 July 2011

I'm a 22-year-old male and I've suffered from depression and anxiety since as long as I remember. In retrospect it seems inevitable, my parents having a history of mental health issues and both my brother and sister have developed some mental health issues. For a while when I attended primary school we were put into foster care because both parents had a mental breakdown; our carers were abusive. After being returned to our parents they never worked again and both became alcoholics to some extent.

At around the age of 10 I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome and was sent to secondary school (not a special school) a fair distance from where I lived because the nearby school didn't have the appropriate facilities or support. This support entailed support in the classroom with an assistant sitting with me in every lesson and an Aspergers base where I generally waited during lunch and break periods. The support I received did help me achieve beyond expectations in my GCSE examinations but did nothing for my underlying social and mental issues, which a person such as myself is reluctant to directly bring up.

This was eventually my undoing and I wasn't able to cope with the stress of A-levels or with having no close friends. My support assistant in the first sixth-form I attended actually shouted at me when I brought up my depression issues. I attempted to run away from the school several times and this was never addressed. The second sixth-form I attended had minimal support and was more pleasant to attend but I couldn't cope and dropped out at the end of the year.

Since then I've been through alcoholism, unemployment and depression (though I'm past the first). Depression and cynicism are absolutely pervasive in the way I think and act. Nothing is worth doing any more in my mind. Every attempt I do make to improve my life ends in failure. I have tried to get help but nothing has worked and I don't know what to do now. I worry this is how my parents feel.

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JH91 said on 17 July 2011

Im a 20 year old uni student and Ive been suffering with depression since i was 16. most of the comments on here, i can relate straight away and its nice to know im not totally alone even though most of the time i do feel like that. I always feel embarrassed to tell people i have depression as people dont have the right idea to what depression is. they think she/he must be crazy or suicidal which isnt the case at all. ive been off and on citalopram for 4 years now but i hate taking them as i feel like im offically insane. so have been off them and have been doing fine. but whenever anything bad happens, i just cant cope. i panic, have aniexty attacks and just break down and cry and would be happy for anyone just to end it all. i feel like with depression i get better and then suddenly im down again and i just relapse and just end up back at the doctors and i feel like a broken record. i feel like i cant talk to anyone as i dont think anyone feels like they should be listening to my problems as there not important, even though i get told they are all i feel is rubbish, unimportant and pain to everyone around me so all i do is just put on a front of happy smiley me and no-one ever has a clue. when i first told my friends they were shocked as i think thats true, the people who appear the happiest are usually the saddest of all. i really want to beat this! i cant take it anymore and feel like such a burden on my family and friends. i dont want to go back on citalopram as i felt like a zombie and felt like i lost a piece of me and i dont want to do conselling again as one: its brings up things i would rather keep in the past and have forgotten and two: i end up coming out feeling worse not being able to sleep as all i have is these negative thoughts going round in my head. i hope you all beat this like i want to, and that no matter what you are not alone as now ive discovered there are so many us suffering. thank you xx

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whocares4me said on 14 July 2011

I believe that the way we are brought up and what we are subjected to in childhood has a major impact on the way we perceive ourselves in later life. I'm 41 now and althrough my childhood and upto the present day I am constantly told that the world is laughing at me and I'm useless

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i know how it feels said on 13 July 2011

I can relate to alot of these comments. Ive been suffering with depression for 10 years now on and off. Some times are harder than others. Ive tried to take my life twice in my early twenties and had to be hospitalised. I was told by the resident counsellor there to stop being so ridiculous and selfish and then I left the office in tears. There is not enough support out there and there is still a massive stigma attached to mental illness. Instead of being offered counselling or help of any kind I left feeling like a pariah. It isnt fair. If someone breaks a leg then it will get put in plaster and fixed, but a hint of a mental illness sends many so called health professionals running out the door screaming. All I can say to anybody that feels they need a bit of advice is try to make as many things in your life as good as possible. Focus on any goals you may have and strive to make them real. Writing things down helps me alot too. It puts things in perspective sometimes when you see them on paper. Also stay away from anybody that makes you feel inadequate or less of a human being than them. 9 times out of 10 they're jealous and would love to see you going further and further down into the pits of despair. Surround yourself with those who genuinely care about you and let them know what is going on. Forewarned is generally forearmed. I dont have tons of people in my life but the ones I do are trying to do their best by me. Just by being there and being supportive is enough. And the age old adage comes in when they say "nothing ever stays the same" and "things will get better". It is my belief that they genuinely can if you believe in yourself and respect and accept who you are. It can go a long way to aid the road to recovery.

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17d17 said on 25 June 2011

I have been diagnosed with Health anxiety/OCD, but I feel down almost everday because of it. The doctor isnt helpful at all, and the NHS waiting list to see a counciller is appauling. I think that I am depressed, because I cry almost twice a week over nothing. Im very emotional,and feel so down about myself. Somedays its so hard for me to even think about life in a positive way. I feel like I want to kill myself, and die, because I feel so useless in this world. I wish i was suscribed with anti-depressants. the reason i feel so low is mostly to do with the chronic pains I feel in my face. It really puts me down, and my parents dont help either. Mental illness is a serious condition, and the NHS should try and priotorise it a little better. Im fed up of its services of not providing the right type of help for mental illness sufferes.

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tami91 said on 19 June 2011

hi, I think I may have a form of depression. some days i feel fine then other I can feel so down, upset that i cry my eyes out, moody and stressed, worthless and even think about suicide but never end up doing it (thank god). i just don't know why but this effects me with sleeping at night most nights I'll sleep fine then when I feel down etc... I won't sleep until 4-5am in morning then I over sleep as well. Also I end up falling out with friends and close family because I'm pissed off and upset but when they ask why i really don't know or i make up the stupidest little think to blame it on then feel stupid for feeling like this for no reason. I'm a student at college and I missed going for a week because I felt so crap and didn't sleep well. the way I deal with it is to just buy something I like usually Chocolate and a tub of Pringle's which make me feel a bit better, have time on my own and just deal with it until I feel better again.

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babar64 said on 14 June 2011

finally plucked up courage to visit GP this week. He was surprisingly helpful; asked me number of questions, gave me some options - with some printed notes to take away. Agreed to make another appointment in weeks time when we can think about way ahead. In meantime he gave me prescription and said it was up to me if I wanted to use it or wait till next appointment.

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ddare said on 13 June 2011

this is an nhs site, which is kinda ironic, as iv been suffering sever depression for nearly 20 years, i actually forced myself to go and see my doctor, (nhs) who, not only didnt listen to me, he actually gave the impression he didnt believe me, since then i have tried to commit suicide twice, how bad am i, i failed both times. but the last thing i will ever do is go and see another doctor about it. i dont need to feel like im a burden on the nhs again. i understand how a lot of you are feeling, and you all have my sympathy, but from experience, the only way to beat this illness is to keep your head up, battle through every day, even when it seems too much. its what im doing, im hoping i will someday snap out of it. hoping being the word.

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User552720 said on 12 June 2011

I am 38 male, Depression has been part of my life for over 20 years. I don't take any medication any more. Talk Therapy, Fresh Air, Walks, helps with my disorder. I find it difficult to attune with the life flow in towns, so I feel like i'm set apart from everyone else. I think if I find a girl-friend this will also benefit, a Man of my age should already be settled down, as God said, It is not good for a man to be alone. If I can start to love myself allot more, i'm on my way there!

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UNKNOWN93 said on 12 June 2011

to anyone thinking they have depression, i wouldnt advise going to a doctor or a counsellar. After months of not knowing what was going on with me and i thought i might have depression i went to my docters and 2 counsellars, they were useless they told me i was `overexegeratting` and i had no `real evidence`, they made me feel 1000 times worse and they wouldnt understand what i was trying to tell them.
I`m currentley taking my alevel exams, and having this is affecting me soo much i consentley get so over emotional, feel like i want to hide myself away, i feel like such a failure and find is soo hard to concentrate and remember stuff now; i used to be such a confident, determined person. I went to the drs to avoid it affecting me exams, but they didnt help at at all and its affecting me soo much i dont know what to do.I get so scared and panicky, i have panic attacks in my sleep, ive ben consentley crying over my work. i dont know what to do anymore . . . .no one seems to understand how i feel or what im going through :(. I hate it, i just want to feel normals again.If anyone can help please reply back to this.

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RosieTalk said on 09 June 2011

In response to 'someone you wont know'.

If you are not coping, there are lots of people you can talk to. Your GP can advise you about the next steps to take towards feeling better.

Young Minds has some very good advice for young people who are not coping or feeling depressed: http://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-people

Try and find someone you trust to talk to, like a relative or friend that you feel comfortable with. There are people who understand, and who can help you deal with the problems you are experiencing. You can visit www.samaritans.org.uk for advice, email jo@samaritans.co.uk or call 08457 90 90 90.

You can also visit A&E if you are in despair. They will have a crisis team on hand to help you.

Rosie, NHS Choices

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someone you wont know said on 05 June 2011

Thats really reassuring as some people have said that they cant describe how they feel. I cant either I just feel horrible. I cant feel proper emotions but i feel just like a plant or something. both my brother and my dad are messed up so I feel inferior to them which just makes things worse. besides I feel that my mum doesnt take me seriously because of my brother. I must be depressed because I feel lots of the symptoms. It takes me agers to get to sleep, I feel hopeless and worthless. i feel really drowsy and i lack all social skills. plus I find everything boring.

Something I do know that helps depression is seeing people and having friends so make sure that you do If you have friends. plus having a hobby helps as well . Ive started to learn Guitar and Ive really enjoyed it even though I have had bad patches emotionally and with it.

I still dont believe I am depressed though because my brain is like scrambled egg so could you tell me what you think.

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someone you wont know said on 05 June 2011

I feel for all you guys. My brother and my dad are depressed of some kind and I think i am depressed. What really irritates me is that I feel inferior to them because I think they are worse. I dont think my mum believes me as she hears it all the time anyway, even then im nagging her round the clock. I still need help though. Im 15 and pretty much alone all the time. Its very odd because I dont smoke or drink alot but i feel really stressed out. I get really tired , and I cant think strait at all. I dont enjoy anything i feel hopeless and worthless and I really lack social skills. honestly do you think i am depressed.

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WasOnce said on 05 June 2011

I have been unhappy as far back as I remember, I don't want to go into details or say that I am all better now. It's just not that simple. As cheesey as it may sound the first step is always talking about it. I wouldn't dare talk to family or friends about it, but I did to my GP, which lead me to therapy and a whole host of medication.
I have since ended both, therapy by my pychologist and meds by my own accord, unwisely so probably.
But to be honest it did help and so I would reccomend it, it's just getting over that first hump of shame and fear.

Now though, I seem to be back exactly where I started and I'm too ashamed to see my gp to tell him I went of my meds just because I was sick of taking them, or getting a hold of my therapist because I was so sure I wouldn't need it anymore. It seems more funny than tragic to me. I guess I have just wasted their time and mine.
I will probably try making an appointment with my gp once I can gather what courage I have and I hope that if you feel the same that you will too. It may make you scared, may make you cry, but it's confidential and certainly a good idea.

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hopeisallwehave said on 22 May 2011

i'm 16 and was diagnosed a couple of months ago with depression for the second time in under a year. this it's alot worse and i was put on liquid prozac, i started to have some reallt good days and haven't cut in 11 days the psychiatrists say im getting better, but i think about cutting everyday and it takes everything in my strength to not do it again, im just so scared that this time im not going to get better.

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Skyesmammy said on 22 May 2011

hi ive been depressed since i was 14 when my mum died, over the years it got worse then nearly 2 yrs ago i had a complete break down and didnt feel normal till bout 6 months ago ive been taking medication since the break down, i have to stop takin the medication a few weeks ago coz i found out i was pregnant and now i just seem to be gettin down again, i feel like cryin all the time, has anyone got any advice to help me get on with things plz? thank you

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TwinkleStar11 said on 21 May 2011

Hi, Im 19 years old and just needing a bit of advice. I think i'm depressed but i don't know. And i don't want to go to the doctors incase they tell me in being silly.. But here are a few of my symproms
For the last 8 months ive been feeling very hopeless and sad.. i have thought about commiting suicide several times and even tried once a few months back, my sleeping pattern is messed up and when i do sleep i wake up several times during the night/morning, im very emotional and some times i just cry for hours and hours straight for something as silly as my tv remote not working. i have very low self esteem and get very paranoid about thing, i constantly criticise myself for my apperance and how others will see me. i have no energy most days i also get very irritated at small things and also very angry i have trashed up my house once when i was upset. But the thing im confused about is i dont feel sad everyday.. its about more than half the days i feel sad but some days i feel happy and bright.. and some days one min i can be fine and next i can be an emotional wreck. Please could someone give me some advice as what to do? it would help me so much.
Thanks

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Ashleigh1992 said on 15 May 2011

I have never been diagnosed with depression but since i was 12 i have been suffering. I got bullied and did drugs. I self harmmed most nights and would just cry my self to sleep. Im finally going to build up the courage to speak to the doctor tomorrow. All these feeling i have been fighting for so many years are hittiing me hard again. I feel so lonely, As if i have not got a friend in the world.. past memories are always haunting me. I feel the comments and the pain i feel will never leave me. I just hope something changes before i start scarring my self again.. i dont want that. But i feel the urges to do it again. Im not happy i dont think i ever have been?

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Foxgloves said on 30 April 2011

I'm 20 years old. I know i have it and have knowns for years. I'm far to embaressed and ashammed to drag any of my friends into this and don't get how seeing a doctor will to make anything better. After a recent death of a friend things have gone downhill and i just feel like theres no light at the end of the tunnle.

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DiscoDuck said on 25 April 2011

Hey stratford1995, I can totally understand what your going through. I know it's hard, we all do. But you have to ask for help. If not from your family or friends, then what about your GP? The samaritans? They even have a website. Don't go down the same road as me. x

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stratford1995 said on 25 April 2011

Hi, I think I have depression, and I'm too scared to tell anyone, I feel they would be upset, embarrassed etc and I dont know what to do, its all getting to much for me now, everything is, and I'm really scared.

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botbotbot said on 19 April 2011

I have been suffering with depression now for 8 years, starting when I was a teenager with serious troubles at home. I tried the medication first, and I had a counsellor as well for a while but neither helped. I felt like the tablets only treated the effects not the cause, and my counsellor never even seemed to be listening. I started smoking cannabis to help me deal with the upset, it provides an instant hit of happiness that I couldn't get anywhere else, but now it is taking over my life. My depression has become unbearable, and I have started to hurt myself to try and cope. I'm sick of people, even those I love, looking at me like I'm crazy all the time. Nobody seems to understand and I don't have anybody to talk to about it. I feel like this is the end of the line, and If i don't get help now I can't turn back, I feel hopeless.

I have managed to find a counsellor that I feel like i can trust, but I have yet to make an appointment because I can't afford the treatment. I'm scared that If I go to the doctor for a referral then they will only put me on a waiting list again, and I really can't wait any longer. I don't know what to do next, I'm stuck in limbo and could do with some advice, I'm terrified of going to the doctor's.

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isobel654 said on 14 April 2011

I have suffered from depression and anxiety for about nine years and only sought help about two years ago. There are many stigmas attached to depression and I understand how hard it is to ask for help. But I would urge anyone who feels they are depressed to go see a doctor, and if this fails (as, sadly, many doctors are inadequate at dealing with mental health issues) try a different one. I have seen four different doctors and finally found one who has put me on a different medication (the old one wasn't effective) and I could not be happier with my treatment.

It has taken a long time since asking for help up until a point where I feel myself again but it has been worth it. I have tried counselling two seperate times and if you find a great one it is a brilliant therapy. Talking to someone who does not know you takes away the shame factor and offers an outside perspective. They are trained to help you and will do all they can to do this. I'm also a firm believer in exercising (just walking a little extra or swimming once a week helps), and just involving yourself in activities, be it a yoga class or making time for coffee with a friend seriously helps to lift your mind. The worst thing you can do is shut yourself away, though I understand how overwhelming the urge to do this is.

Sadly the nhs isn't perfect. You have to help yourself, if you find your doctor is useless keep trying until one listens. There are some fantastic doctors out there who will bend over backwards to help you, find them. Do not feel ashamed in asking for help, it is such an insignificant task once you are well again. I have spent far too much time suffering with this awful illness and eventually found the strength to get help. I have found myself again and have realised life is far too short to suffer unnecessarily.

I wish all of you luck in defeating depression x

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Billiem said on 09 March 2011

I got in touch with the crisis team about two weeks ago now and they came out to see me the following morning (I say I got in touch with them but my GP was conceerned that I may try and go for a walk with some rope and hang myself in the middle of the night). They came out and did an assesment on me and they said I needed to have some intensive home treatment and I needed to see the pschyatric nurse at my local surgery, they have been useless, I'm on medication but not the stuff that I mentioned before they changed it to something that I cannot even pronounce. I still feel low and it has been a month now. And the really fabulous news is that I had stomach pain in the middle of the night that I couldn't get rid of so I was awake all night, I asked my hubby where my appendix are and he said they are low down on your right side and I lay flat and I felt this huge bump (I'm a big lass anyway and a few extra pounds I wouldn't notice) but now I believe I'm pregnent. I'm scared that if I tell anyone that they will stop the treatment that I desparately need. I cannot be just a bit pregnent either because the lump in there is bigger than my hand). I'm scared. I don't want more children, I'm scared that I'll be useless at it and it couldn't have happened at a worse time and I'm still having my periods, the pain still hasn't gone though but what should I do? Help.

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shona04 said on 28 February 2011

i dont know how to explain how i feel, i just feel wrong. ive always been the kind of person that can be mega happy one minute and down the next but its never been this bad. i feel sad ALL the time now and i suffer from panic attacks and anxiety pains, i dont sleep properly and when i do sleep im waking up with anxiety pains in my chest and i feel i have to get up and do something because something really bad will happen. i feel like im missing something in life, and no i do not mean that in hollywood film way like as though i seriously have lost something important...i often feel like something really bad will happen and i start to worry for those around me and myself. i often have dreams about my loved ones dying or myself being murdered and its horrible. i am so scared of death i do not want to harm myself or die like some people with depression do. since leaving school four years ago i really tried to make a life for myself, i have a well paid steady job a long term relationship with a wonderful person, and im getting ready to go university, but none of this makes me happy and i have knowone to talk to about it as my mother and siblings all suffer from depression aswel as long-term illnesses and my dad is not supportive or pro-active in the family and is violently abusive. the only time i am happy is when im reading my novels because i pretend i am the charachter in the book. i cry all the time or shout, i get panic attacks on my way to work and i cant concentrate on anything. my appetite is next to nothing and i rather go a whole day and only eat a bowl of cereal or i binge eat to the point where i feel sick. ive always found it difficult maintaining friendships but just recently (since last november) all my friends have given up on me (i dont blame them). i feel inadaquate and like im a bad person that doesnt deserve things. im really sorry for the essay i just needed to get it off my chest. im going back to my GP so hopefully will get it sorted.

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butterfly24 said on 26 February 2011

I am fairly new to depression, having suffered my first major incident just two years ago, at the age of 36, when I was made redundant out of the blue. I read a great book which described all the symptoms I had and which made me realise that I was not going crazy and I was not alone. What I have learned is that you basically have to roll with it. You should not beat yourself up for suffering from depression. You need to surrender to it and realise that it is ok to be like that. You have an illness. However, I am not suggesting you don't fight it. Having done a fair amount of research I truly believe that what we eat and drink and the amount of exercise we do has a large part to play in all of this. Taking a high dosage of fish oil, and also taking folic acid, has apparently helped some people. It is easy to go down the route of drinking too much however that just numbs you more than you already are, which is not good. Avoid alcohol altogether and be good to yourself. I have read that acupuncture has also proven to be successful in treating depression. I have my first session on Wednesday! Trying eating healthily (avoid sugar and alcohol). taking fish oil and folic acid supplements, taking regular exercise and having acupuncture once a month and see if that makes a difference. I am obviously not a doctor but I am willing to do whatever it takes to get back to normal and be myself again. I am worried about when this will happen but I know from a previous episode that i wil gradually be able to feel happiness again. It is very important to believe that you will find your true self again. I wish everybody well with their own personal struggle and hope that in time everybody will be able to experience the joy in life once more. I remember I used to enjoy the simple things in life like playing with my dog or feeling the sun on my face. I hope that these pleasures will return very soon.

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Fiona93 said on 26 February 2011

Okay so, im 17, at sixth form and studying for four a levels. But i find it extremely difficult to actually get out of bed to go to sixth form, or to get motivated to do coursework. I struggle to get to sleep at night, and when i am asleep i keep waking up. I keep having strange dreams, usually about the same things. My younger brother is autistic which doesn't make things at home easy. I don't even know if i have depression, last summer i had weekly appointments with a school nurse, because at school i broke down in tears infront of one of my teachers, i couldn't stop myself. To be fair the nurse was pretty useless, i never got a diagnosis and i still haven't now. My parents knew how i was feeling at the time, they have no idea that i still feel that way. I stopped going to the appointments with the nurse because i felt she wasnt helping me at all. My GP was useless, when i said i thought i had depression, he suggested i had a blood test, and the results of that were 'i need to eat some more vegetables'. Which had nothing to do with me crying every day and not sleeping. Im scared about talking to my parents about how i feel because i dont want them to be worried about me again, my mum has suffered with depression in the past, im just scared and i dont know how to tell them or what to say to them. I've told my boyfriend and he is really supportive and encourages me to tell my parents, but i cant? Has anybody got any advice for me? (sorry about the essay, and if it bored you)

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DiscoDuck said on 24 February 2011

Ok, so where do I start? I'm bouncing between the lucid side of me that rejects the idea that I'm depressed, and the doom and gloom side that knew it all along.My GP is useless,and thinks that its antidepressants or nothing, my mum just brings things back onto her and how she feels and my husband just thinks I should snap out of it...I wish I could. I'm at a loss of what to do. I spoke to someone about how I felt today and I just felt like an idiot, shes trainned to do her job, but it just came over as a clinical exercise. Her primary concern was if she could trust me not to go home and self harm...I feel so stupid and worthless that self harm wouldn't make a difference. Wish I had the courage to do something to stop myself feeling like this. I hate this, it's not me anymore. What can I do?

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User530956 said on 21 February 2011

(continuing from previous comment) ....

I just realised I was rambling on... so I'll get back to the point. I rang the 0845 number, they gave me crappy information about cold and flu, then said we're only taking urgent calls, we can arrange to call you back in 4 hours. I was ringing from a mobile and was listening to 3 minutes of a pre recorded message then it started ringing and I was put on some sort of hold. 5 minutes I waited at 25/pm. It's safe to say i'm more depressed than what I was before I called. Thanks for all the help NHS.

I don't even know why I tried calling, I wouldnt know what to say without feeling like an idiot, I've gotten so used to acting normal that when I come to speak to people I don't sound depressed, so they will either tell me I'm fine or they'll think I'm taking the p*ss. I don't know what to do. I just want to be normal.

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User530956 said on 21 February 2011

I dont know what to do. I just completed the depression test (the questions are rubbish in my opinion).
It told me to phone the NHS Direct so I doible checked the number and found this message on one of the NHS pages "Whatever your health concern or query, we’re here for you 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Just call 0845 4647" I called at 6am, I've been up all night talking to my girlfriend about how I've been feeling over the last few years, and she told me I need to see someone... everyone says that, I feel like they don't want to try and help me. Which is the main reason I havent contacted anyone "professional". But I realised I need to sort this out when I found myself talking out loud, arguing with myself about why I should kill myself, and which method to do it.

I don't know what's up with me... I can't call it depression because its not on-going all of the time, I've had moments of happiness I guess, but most of the time I just feel drained and useless. I've told my girlfriend countless times that I'm not worth the trouble and that she should just leave me to die. I'm just causing her to worry which she doesn't need.
I pretend I'm ok a lot of the time, especially in front of family, they've seen me down and depressed and I don't think it's fair on them to have to see that, so I just pretend everything is ok.

I'm 20 years old, I stay in my room pretty much all day unless i go down to eat or get a drink. Most days (and I mean 90% of days) I sit in my room playing games or watching TV shows or films. All day. I don't like going out, besides I dont have the money to anyway. The only time my day changes is when my girlfriend comes over, and she doesnt come very often, maybe 2-3 times a week. I look for jobs because I have to, I don't want to work, I have no motivation to work, I hate interviews, they are so fake, no one is themself in interviews anyway, so why I have to pretend I'm better than what I am to get a job I dont know......

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markymatt said on 18 February 2011

Reading this page is my first hesitant step towards going to see a doctor. So many of the comments resonate with me and it's humbling how willing people are to share, and really encouraging. Over the past few years I've lost energy and focus, and gone from being a creative busy person to tired, jaded and snappy. I don't keep in touch with friends, drink to much, eat too little and sleep either too much or not at all. Even small problems just feel insurmountable and I can't see any progress for my future, either work or personal life. I'm 34 and feel totally left behind by old friends. I go out to drink but can't deal with sociable situations. But the thing that bothers me most is not being able to concentrate or focus because I used to be so capable of hard brain work, now my brain just feels mangled and dead. I feel sad and even angry whenever I am in contact with the outside world - I shock myself sometimes at how much I seem to hate people.

But what to do ? I'm suspicious of this label 'depression' and am determined not to be on medication, so will explore every other avenue first. But for now, thakns to all those who've written comments and shared stories. It's good not to feel alone.

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Billiem said on 18 February 2011

I went to the doctor last week as I thought that maybe it was about time I pulled myself out of this glue I seem to have been stuck in for so very long and he said he would arrange for me to see the psychiatric nurse this wee (which he obviously did not!) and he prescribed me some citalopram for the depression and some diazepam for my terrible nerves. Next Wednesday I will hev been on the for two weeks and they don't seem to be helping, the only thing I want to do is sleep. I have two wonderful little boys and I don't seem to be able to pull myself out of this which depresses me even more. I feel hopeless and useless and do I care that my husband has had to take a week off of his training course because all I want to do is sleep............no not really because at least I got to hide away in bed. I am seriously considering admitting myself, I have been depresed for almost 13 years and I cannot remember a time I have felt happy.....whatever that means. I look at people like my neighbour and I think what have you got to smile about, seriously all you do is yell at your kids and let your husband walk all over you but still you manage to smile. I think that if I have myself admitted at least I will get the help I need and I will get it pretty quickly......Wont I? I just feel dead, I'm 26 and I should be out there building some kind of future for my kids and me but everywhere I go I feel like they are all staring into my soul and they know every weakeness about me. I know that that is silly by the way but I hate leaving the house. I have panic attacks just going to the supermarket. When I go to job interviews I end up sitting there and saying very little, I just feel that I have nothing to offer and that everyone is better that me, I would feel very silly saying.... please give me the job because I have a family to support and I am in alot of debt.....they wouldn't care about that. I just don't know what to do, I'm alone and I have been for a long time.

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BennS said on 14 February 2011

Guys; I am completely lost... I know I am depressed - I have major anxiety too - Having panic attacks left right and central - The generalised anxiety levels are repugnant - I have lost my job, my wife, my kids are now living with her and another woman, my head is all over the place - Im either terrified or angry - I cannot stay stable for five minutes. I lost my flat - and am now "camping" at my mum and dad's driving my dad crazy because his once confident and strong son is now a jibbering wreck that is scared to go out of the house and "face things". I have been hospitalised twice and fed god knows how many types of medication - am receiving counselling - going to see a nutritionalist - writing to Doctors in far reaching countries for advice/ seeking an operation on my head which has been "busted" for god knows how many years - I really am lost in this disgusting black horrible filthy self centred shabby way of life - It has become mind numbingly bad - Wake up panicking - continue with anxiety all day - feeling sick and nauseas all the time - dont eat properly - running to the toilet every five minutes - This has got to come to an end - I dont even know why I am writing this down - at least it saves me from shouting at the top of my lungs at the wall again... I keep being told that I need to distract myself - but how the hell do you distract yourself from something that electrifies your whole body and paralyses you in fear at any given moment - I am trying so hard to be normal and find work but my body/brain wont allow it to happen - as soon as I get anywhere near an interview my legs turn to jelly and I want to puke everywhere - What is all of this about?

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Boyzee said on 11 February 2011

I just don't know what's wrong with me. I'm pathetic. I have a good job, a good wife, good friends - everything but I still feel depressed. I guess i will have to back to the GP. i've been on antidepressants (Citalopram) for 18 months but they don't seem to be working any more. It's hopeless.

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Ryan W said on 10 February 2011

Deppresion, its a funny old thing...... you walk day to day life in a nightmare, woundering when it is your gonna wake! but then again you can become addicted to the feeling in which holds you back and when you are on the road to recovery you feel lost and confused which you cannot explain... but before you know more problems accure and the defistating crushing of the deppressive circle happens all over again and again and again. its not a thing to take light hearted as you lose sight of what life is all about and you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel and your waiting for it to come back... it not untill then you cannot remember the last time you fwelt happy nor comfidant about doing stuff. then before you no it its wake up every morning chucking down the anti-depression whilst going to therapy 2 times a week not knowing how long you have been doing this for and how much longer you will have to. but back to the agony side of it! having to put on a brave face acting like everythings ok... cus if not you have people in minutes asking whats up like my therapist said you hide behind "the tears of a clown" it was then i realised that this is not me it isnt normal to be sad or happy everyday but ohhhh god! wouldnt it be nice just to have that feeling of at least one happy day...

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ste574 said on 09 February 2011

I Suffering from it myself for the last 6 years i don't take any thing for it i just get bye but to day i fell i was in a box 6 ft under

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LDS 1967 said on 09 February 2011

My son took his own life in April last year, he was 21 years old. He was suffering from depression after a realtionship of five and a half years broke down. Nobody had any idea how bad he was feeling as on the outside he was full of life, happy, always joking around. He was a business graduate, had a good income, had played football at a semi professional level and had a massive amount of friends (over five hundred of these attended his funeral)......he seemed to have everything to live for. I am now depressed myself, which of course is not surprising...I feel the need to understand more about depression and to help others to understand that this is not a weakness...it is a recognised illness and can eat away at a sufferer just as a cancer can. Whereas people may presume my son was weak, he was actually extremely brave....he hid the extent of his depression from all his family and friends even though he was being persistently tormented by his ex girlfriend. Please if you know someone who is suffering from depression, don't presume that they will "snap out of it" or that they are a weak person. If you are suffering from depression yourself, please do not be ashamed....seek help...you are not weak, you are not crackers....you are ill!! xxx

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sleeper said on 19 January 2011

Reading all your comments makes me feel I am not alone. I am currently sat in my coat on the sofa with the curtains closed after having dragged myself out of bed to take my gorgeous child to school. I know I am just going to sleep for a while now, right here. I described to my therapist yesterday that I wished it was like in the fairy story Sleeping Beauty... everyone would fall asleep for a day or two just so I could be alone and have some time out without anyone knowing, then I wouldn't need to feel guilty or lazy for taking time for myself. Even if the postman comes to the door I am irritated by it, I don't want to talk. I'd taken my dog out the other day and people stopped to pet him, which irritated me cos i wanted to walk alone and make sense of my head, not make small talk. I feel so unsociable and just wish I could stay asleep until this cleared. I can't remember things that I did yesterday and thats quite scary. This has been really good to write but I bet I don't read it back to myself!!! My advice: Keep smiling :-)))

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tlc36 said on 17 January 2011

I am a 36 year old female, I have suffered with depression since I was about 20 years old. I suffered with seizures when I was a baby and night terrors before I reached my teenage years.
Does anyone know if they could be connected?

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J Ha Perso said on 17 January 2011

Following on from my last comment, I'm in my second week of leave from work due to depression. I have to say, I think this has and is definatley one of the most stressful periods of my life; which doesn't help when you're a sufferer of depression does it. Rather than venting or telling my story here, I just wanted to give some tips to anyone who happens to read this post. I know it's hard, I think we can all relate to eachother here but firstly I really would recommend that if you haven't already, talk to someone about your depression- even if it's through a website like this, rather than face to face, it does help to get it off your chest. Don't get me wrong, it won't solve all your problems or cure your depression but it will help. I strongly believe that one of the best things you can do when suffering from depression is to go to your doctor, they're the experts at the end of the day and if your doctor is anything like mine, you'll be able to expolre various avenues to find the right solution for you. You may have heard all of these tips before, but I too am speaking from experience, if you find that you are going thrpugh a real bad period with your depression, take some time out (if you can) and try to relax. Think of no one but yourself, veg out, watch some TV, read, take relaxing baths, make sure you eat well and avoid overdoing it on alcohol and I know it's probably the last thing you want to do when you're depressed but excercising really does help you know. As well as this, have a night out with a friend/group of friends or family member- it can be anything from dining out to clubbing to cinema, you'd be suprised of how socialising can really pick you up. Don't get me wrong guys, I still feel low with depression but over the past week I have found that small steps can really make a difference. I really hope this helps, some of the stories on here are so upsetting, they make me realise how lucky I am. Hopefully, this will inspire others as they have me.

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Billiem said on 13 January 2011

I don't normally mention that I have depression to anyone, my Mother and Father have both suffered with it and my Mothers reaction towards coping with depression was to drink and then start shouting and crying. It was always as though whatever I was going through, there was no way that I would be able to experiance that amount of sadness because my feelings never counted- she was the only one that mattered. I have suffered with depression since I was 14 and it went un noticed until I was 21. I thought that I was just been silly- pull yourself out of this mood my Mum and Dad would say, as if I was just mesing about. I don't go out, I think I have now been inside for about ten days, I have no job so I feel useless for not contributing. I feel guilty because I have twins and I want to take them out and take them places- we do go to the park across the road and I take them to group- but I can't afford to take them anywhere nice. If people come to the house, I tend to hide out of the way, I'm ashamed and I don't even really know why, I just have never had a very good relationship with people. My partner is lovely but even he said about a month ago that I did this to myself. I want to do things but financially we are crippled and I don't know what to do. I feel that people judge me even before they know me and maybe people are right, maybe it is just me that feels that way. I feel ashamed, like I don't deserve to live. Sometimes when I go to bed I hope and pray that I will die in my sleep and when I wake up I feel awful. I don't think I would ever kill myself but I do think about it. I never want to leave my kids but I feel useless and I know how awful it is to grow up with a depressive parent and I don't want to be a negative infulance on them. I have been on medication previously and I have had councelling but I hve never been "happy" and I just want to be "normal".

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Jessi247 said on 12 January 2011

I swear I've had some form of depression since I was 12. I used to cry a lot pretty much every night. As I have got older I have dealt with things a tad easier, but the symptoms are still there. This has got in the way of education, work, social life. I become such a horrible person or a total recluse. I'm absolutely sick of it.
I've tried on a few occasions to sort this out, once when i was about 14. The woman stuck the questionnaire (which is on this page) in front of me. I was a kid, i couldn't be honest on it and never went back to the woman.
I'm now at university, its supposed to be a time to make new friends, be a whole new person. I'm having no fun at all, driving my new friends away from me, I hate myself. I can't even get out of bed most days, I should be exploring whats around me but I can't.
I tried cognitive therapy at the university doctors, absolute waste of money and i was told I was fine.
I went to the university doctors and built up the courage again to talk about it, she said that its because I'm very close to my mum and took on her emotions when we moved house when I was young. She then just prescribed me drugs, no counselling, nothing..I don't want drugs!!!
I'm currently in the process of finding a good doctor that can help me...failing so far as it's that pathetic I'm struggling to get out the flat, even my bed :(

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J Ha Perso said on 12 January 2011

To be honest, I've always known that I was different from most (and by most I mean my friends, family etc). But it's only been over the past year that I thought hold on, I could actually be depressed. Before then I put my up's and downs to general mood swings and my drama-queen personality. But in January 2010, I woke up one day and just thought I've had enough. I'd tried to end my life on a couple of occasions before that, but again, if I'm honest, they were really just cries for help and once I'd recovered I went about my life like nothing had happened. Following on from my bad spell last year, I went to various therapy sessions and doctors appointments, we ruled out Bipolar disorder and tried different medications. Things started to pick up when I split from my long term boyfriend and met someone new, who I've been with for six months now. I tried to take on all these changes as positive changes in my life but it seems that my 'mood' has gone from low to high and back down to low again. This time I really am at my lowest, passed the point of caring about anything; I type this while on another sick-leave spell from work, after having a bit of a break down a week today, my doctor gave me some new meds and signed me off for two weeks with stress. You know when you just feel like you've had enough? I hate my job, I can't stand my boss, I can't afford to live and those factors, amongst lifes day-to-day problems, mixed with my 'mental health' problems, are just turning me into an almost zombie-like state. I've just had enough. . I'm sure many of the people who have commented on this page know exactly what I'm going through and how I feel. I just feel so lost. It's just one thing after another, n' it doesn't help that I find it hard to deal with stress anyway. I'm so ashamed of myself sometimes, I'm 26, surely I should 'have it together' by now. I probably have so much to be happy about, but I can't see this, all I do is cry and stress and cry and stress.

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RoarPanda said on 08 January 2011

Hi, I'm 19 and I think I may be depressed. For the past three years Ive found no motivation or joy in anything, and this has really taken a toll on my education and work life, making me stressed and making me feel even worse, it's like some horrible little cycle. Thing is, I'm not sure whether i'm actually depressed or just happy to find something to blame my life's failings on other than myself. It feels like im just making excuses. I don't really know what to do, my attitude towards my family and my girlfriend have really been dipping recently as I'm feeling worse and worse, but I dont want to end up having to take drugs to get any joy out of life. I think I really became worried when last night I felt so down I went and started drinking just to make myself feel a little better- which i've never done before.

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broon44 said on 07 January 2011

A reply to confused and stressed said on 14 November 2010. I understood everything you said in your post.
I have never used a website this this before until I read your comment. I have suffered from depression, anxiety and panic attacks since I was about 14. They were not diagnosed until I had my first child at the age of 24. I also had a really bad time during and after my second child which lasted over and year and a half. Unfortunately, I am now back suffering from depression again at the age of 31. I am currently on Citalopram and struggling along every day. I know the horrible feelings will pass eventually and that it's a chemical imbalance in my brain that is causing it but it is so difficult to keep positive. I find the mornings are the worst, knowing I have to get up and get the kids ready when all I want to do is stay in my bed as I can't think of facing the day ahead. I'm lucky that I have my mum and dad who are very understanding as my mum has suffered from depression before. Unfortunately, like many others my husband struggles to understand it all. I also have a very understanding and helpful doctor. I know how horrible and horrendous this disease is and I feel for anyone who has to go through it all. I have found it really helpful reading all the posts, it makes you feel like your not on your own.

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Invisablegirl said on 05 January 2011

From what i've seen on this page, everyone here has a right to feel depressed, but im a mere 17 year old girl that dropped out of sixth form because i wasnt coping, i've had a string of rubbish boyfriends that havent treated me right, and i am currently holding down two retail jobs that quite frankly i hate and want to quit. . . i dont want depression, i dont want to feel this way, i only realised im depressed because i chucked a bunch of my symptoms on the boots analysis thing and one of the options was depression, my mum (who's currently suffering from depression too) told me to read it, and whilst doing so i burst into tears from out of no where, i know i should go to the doctors but i dont want to admit that i have depression, the last time i did, the doctors sent me to counciling, which has never worked previously, i think my depression is linked to events of my past, and all i want to do is be able to let the past stay in the past so that i can live my life and be happy. as im only 17 i dont want the doctors to give me counciling, nor do i want drugs =/ As well as all of this, my first proper relationship had some major faults and eventually, i set the guy free because i was carrying alot of guilt about stupid little things that id done, i set him free because he was two years older and he needed to experience girls and life in general, hes still in my life as my family have kind of adopted him, and recently ive found myself having confused feelings for him, sometimes i miss him and sometimes i dont. additionally, i have always been the strongest link within my group of friends, but it seems that even though im there for my friends even when they dont want me there, they dont realised how i feel and i dont think they even care about me anymore, thanks for reading this, if anyone has, whats your opinion, am i depressed? or just plain crazy? xx

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User514739 said on 05 January 2011

I can relate to 14142124's comment.
I feel like I have recently gone down a very slippery slope. I have felt low for months now but it comes in bouts, sometimes I can feel on top of the world only to be dropped back down into the 'pit' which is so difficult to lift yourself out of. I didn't want to face what might be the truth and I started taking the wrong path, I started taking drugs, firstly cannabis but then I took Ecstasy a few times and I self-harmed. I have also lost about 4 stone in the past 3 months or so and I struggle to sleep much at all, sometimes I lie awake until 6am. I don't know what I was looking for in the drugs - perhaps an escape, but I didn't find it. It only made me worse, especially the ecstasy. I was recently expelled from school after my friends were put in an impossible situation. It caused so much hurt and upset but now I realise that I have got to sort my life out before something even worse happens.
I feel so awful about it because I was in private education and I have let my parents down so badly. I'm also scared that if I go to my GP I will be 'fobbed off' as hormones being an explanation.

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Cant get help said on 29 December 2010

I have been struggling for three years now with depression and anxiety. I can only get about 3-4 hours sleep every night. Three years ago suddenly lights seemed a lot brighter and noises louder. I can't sit in a room with lights inless there dimmed or off. I also regularly feel woozy and need to sit down. I really want to know whether this is normal, does everyone with depression experience this?

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Cant get help said on 29 December 2010

I have been struggling for three years now with depression and anxiety. I can only get about 3-4 hours sleep every night. Three years ago suddenly lights seemed a lot brighter and noises louder. I can't sit in a room with lights inless there dimmed or off. I also regularly feel woozy and need to sit down. I really want to know whether this is normal, does everyone with depression experience this?

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Hoodie28 said on 24 December 2010

I have suffered from depression since having post natal after my 1st son, my doc at the time didnt want me to be labelled! So just recommended St Johns Wart. This helped a little, then i got pregnant again and the depression was much worse, and having 2 children under 2 with lack of sleep didnt help. The my husband cheated on me - that was 2000. I have been up and down since then, also have panic attacks etc. met my new husband 2004,had another son in 2006 and married 2007. But I am still suffering, and have recently had my ciprelex doubled, as now i have 2 teenage sons that test the limits of my sanity. My husband is struggling to cope with the step sons and with me and I can see that he is now suffering depression and that theres a good chance that depression is going to cause my 2nd marriage to breakdown to a man that I adore and cant imagine coping without. Unfortunately he wont go and seek help and he doesnt want to talk to anyone about it. he feels a failure as a father, and cant bare to be in the house for too long with the family. I am feeling so lost, I have my friends, but I just want my husband back.

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Hoodie28 said on 24 December 2010

I have suffered from depression since having post natal after my 1st son, my doc at the time didnt want me to be labelled! So just recommended St Johns Wart. This helped a little, then i got pregnant again and the depression was much worse, and having 2 children under 2 with lack of sleep didnt help. The my husband cheated on me - that was 2000. I have been up and down since then, also have panic attacks etc. met my new husband 2004,had another son in 2006 and married 2007. But I am still suffering, and have recently had my ciprelex doubled, as now i have 2 teenage sons that test the limits of my sanity. My husband is struggling to cope with the step sons and with me and I can see that he is now suffering depression and that theres a good chance that depression is going to cause my 2nd marriage to breakdown to a man that I adore and cant imagine coping without. Unfortunately he wont go and seek help and he doesnt want to talk to anyone about it. he feels a failure as a father, and cant bare to be in the house for too long with the family. I am feeling so lost, I have my friends, but I just want my husband back.

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HelloKitteh said on 23 December 2010

MarkMason27 I'm in the exact same boat as you. I'm at uni and love what I study but I just feel miserable all the time and often I just get this feeling that I want to just stop, everything. I don't want to talk to someone because I'm worried its not depression, just me being down. My boyfriend has had it and I'm just scared he's going to think that I'm just attention seeking because he knows what its really like and even if he did sympathise I dont think he would held, it would just make me feel weak... I just don't know what to do, I'm sick of feeling this way...

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Lynne123 said on 10 December 2010

I'm 19 and I was recently diagnosed with depression and panic disorder. Whenever I was in an unfamiliar situation, I would just have a massive panic attack, and it was hard to handle. Eventually I just avoided the situations, but in doing so isolated myself. It was difficult to form friendships as well, because I was scared of what people would think.
My family found it hard. They couldn't understand how someone as young as I was could be depressed and suffer panic attacks. It's difficult when people tell you to just get over it, or "buck up your ideas". It's not as easy as that. I felt guilty over the way I felt and wished I could just push a button and make it all ok. Sadly, it doesn't work like that.
I finially couldn't take it anymore and was so low I just wanted to dissapear...so I went to my GP. That was difficult. But afterwards, having had someone listen AND understand - it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.
I'm now on medication and attending CBT, and although it's been a tough journey, I'm so much better already.
If you think you're depressed please seek help. GP's, psychologists etc are all understanding. Don't make the same mistake I did and let it go on and on because you're scared or think people will think you're crazy. You're not. It's soul destroying but it is a very real illness - there is light though, you can get better :)

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tnotts said on 22 November 2010

im only 15 and dont know if im depressed or not i recently lost my uncle and grandad and moved out from my mums, i feel ive lost evereything close to me as my cousins, auntie, nanna and mum dont talk or want anything to do with me. recently i feel really low and keep thinkin silly thoughts about how i might just be better off if i wasnt around anymore i cant sleep some nights and struggle to wake up in a morning im starting to loose intrest in work etc which was once a favorite past time i just dont know what to do anymore.

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MarkMason27 said on 20 November 2010

I'm 18 years old and have recently just moved to Uni. I don't want people to judge me as someone who can't cope with the work or being away from home as this is just not the case.

I've made great friends at Uni and I have amazing friends. However, when I'm alone I feel constantly depressedn it's like I need company all the time.

Example was last night I came back from a night out and I'd enjoyed myself with my friends. As soon as I get back in my room it's like being hit with by a brick wall.

What worries me the most is that there seems no reason for me to be depressed. I look back on my life and I think how lucky I've been to have such a good family and set of friends. Everything in life is great still but I can't help but feel just utterly pathetic when I'm just by myself.

I've had these odd feelings before when i was in school and at college. But they seemed to fade away. This feels different this time as telling myself to get a grip just doesn't work.

I'd just like some advice on what people think I should do. I've talked to one of my flat mates about it but she just thinks I'm homesick. I find this patronising, I know she's trying to help and telling me I'm fine but obviouslly I'm not I break down randomly when I'm alone for no reason.

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kitty123 said on 19 November 2010

Was diagnosed with depression over 10 years ago. Learnt to manage it with medication. I am now trying to get pregnant after having treatment for endometriosis. If I ever want to have a child I have a very short window in which to do it. I am 36 now and am struggling trying to reduce my venlafaxine medication for depression. I was in control of everything in my life and over the last few weeks I have become a mess. I can just about manage to get myself to work, although have taken the day off today as I felt as though I was losing it yesterday. I feel anxious, lost, paranoid, tired as well as feeling angry and acting like someone I do not recognise. I am in a predicament now as I have to come of the anti depressants before I get pregnant but I have a very short time in which to become pregnant. I am worried I cannot cope with anything so how on earth can I cope with a baby in the state I am in. It is just such a mess. Also worried my partner will not want to be in a relationship with the negative, aggressive monster I am becoming. To answer the question "how do you know if you have depression" in my experience, you will have the feeling that you are not in control of your life and cannot cope with ordinary daily life, going to the shops can fill you with anxiety and feelings of helplessness like you just want to fall to the ground and cry uncontrollably. Of course there will be varying degrees of depression but if you have any concerns seek medical advice immediately.

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Scotland1 said on 16 November 2010

Hi all. Louise2789 thanks for you comment. It`s good to hear from someone who`s in the same situation. How long have you been feeling this way? I seem to go like this every year the doctor said I will always suffer from depression on and off. People who haven`t been depressed don`t understand. Do you have anyone to tallk to? I have been back on cipralex for 3 weeks and don`t feel a difference.

To the girl who`s at uni it`s sounds like your depressed. Maybe a visit to your doctor might be a good idea.

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_sophie_ said on 16 November 2010

My situation is pretty similar to confused and stressed's. I don't know if I'd actually be diagnosed as depressed; I've never been to see a doctor about it or anything. I'm also in my second year at university, and whilst I've not had trouble with the work, I've found I don't enjoy it much any more (which is strange because I love the subject I do). I can't concentrate in lectures and often fall asleep. I make a lot of notes at home, but that's also becoming hard due to not being able to concentrate. This is really stressing me out as I'm here to do uni 'properly' and I'm aiming to get a first. I'm tired all the time and have absolutely no energy. I often have to bully myself into going to lectures. I get anxious very easily and I also have mild ocd. I don't really mention it to any of my friends, and always put on a bright, happy front as I don't want to burden them or be seen to be weak and attention seeking. I spend a lot of time on my own, watching tv or films and reading. It's like vicky1147 said, reality is just so much easier.
I think part of the problem is I've been single for two years now after breaking up with a guy I'd been going out with for nearly 5 years and I can't seem to find anyone to be with. Out of all the girls I'm friends with, I'm the only one that hasn't found a boyfriend since coming to uni (there's 5 of us). I know you shouldn't *need* someone, but it would be so nice to have someone that's special. I have very low self-esteem and I've recently been experiencing body dysmorphia; I can't trust what I see in the mirror any more which also worries me.
I'd never actually harm myself or commit suicide but I do often think that it would be nice not to be alive any more. There just doesn't seem to be anything worth living for at the moment.
I've always had a melancholic personality, but I just want to feel good without the help of drugs, alcohol, food or shopping which I use to fill the void.

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confused and stressed said on 14 November 2010

hey, i found this page after looking at many not so up 2 date ones. In my case i'm not sure if i am just feeling extremely down and as i have a personality that worries alot i dont know if i am actually depressed or not. I have a tendency to think alot and go though many aspects of my life and worry about them.

Recently i've moved away 2 uni for my second year, which is alot harder. Also i'm on the pill which i think might be the problem which i found in previous chat logs. My main problem is that i have a horrible anxious feeling in my stomach alot and feel worried, i also recently split up with my long term boyfriend as i kept thinking i didnt love him anymore but then got back together when the thoughts went away but i still have them now and again. I also feel like i can never be bothered going out anymore, and am always tired and never have any energy. I feel like over the last year or so i have just become boring and withdrawn from friends alot i hope this is just a phase im going through due to all the changes in my life eg- uni etc but i'm not sure if i should go 2 the doctors 2 see if it is more than this.

I would really appreciate anyone with similar circumstances or stories to message back. Just not feeling me just now! thanks :)

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confused and stressed said on 14 November 2010

hey, i found this page after looking at many not so up 2 date ones. In my case i'm not sure if i am just feeling extremely down and as i have a personality that worries alot i dont know if i am actually depressed or not. I have a tendency to think alot and go though many aspects of my life and worry about them.

Recently i've moved away 2 uni for my second year, which is alot harder. Also i'm on the pill which i think might be the problem which i found in previous chat logs. My main problem is that i have a horrible anxious feeling in my stomach alot and feel worried, i also recently split up with my long term boyfriend as i kept thinking i didnt love him anymore but then got back together when the thoughts went away but i still have them now and again. I also feel like i can never be bothered going out anymore, and am always tired and never have any energy. I feel like over the last year or so i have just become boring and withdrawn from friends alot i hope this is just a phase im going through due to all the changes in my life eg- uni etc but i'm not sure if i should go 2 the doctors 2 see if it is more than this.

I would really appreciate anyone with similar circumstances or stories to message back. Just not feeling me just now! thanks :)

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Louise2789 said on 13 November 2010

Scotland1 I agree with you. I want to feel better but just can't. You just sit and watch things happen. It feels like something is suffocating you and you don't know how to, or if you can, get past it, like you said, you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

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Scotland1 said on 07 November 2010

Don`t know where to start but being depressed is such a horrible feeling. You want to feel better but just can`t. Getting up in the morning`s is so hard you`ve got to drag yourself. I used to be such a busy on the go person but lately I just want to sit there and I miss out of family activities. I find watching my 4 year old a constant struggle. I wish I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I would like to hear from anyone who struggles through the day and can understand. Thank you.

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Anomomous said on 05 November 2010

Iv not been 100% since my 1st child 4 years ago, I had had depression when I was a teenager I resorted to lots of methods to rid the pain, self harm, drugs, drink and other stuff releasing now how bad I was.
Now it's not as bad that's why it's taken me longer to except I have it, where I previously thought of everyday events of ending my life, like the way you think about something insignificant in daily activities, not excepting it's Abnormal, I somehow pulled myself together. Yet although symptoms aren't so strong, I tend to lash out a lot, don't like seeing people just not wanting anyone around me including kids, life's been like a chore, I don't want sex anymore, just don't care& when I try to care I get mad with frustration bcos I can't fix it, I end up erratic wanting to smash my head against the wall, just wana feel normal again, after my 1st all I did was cry but it passed but not been 100% happy since, after my 2nd I just felt angry& couldn't shake of the feeling,sleeping I just cant sleep, I'm tired but can't shut off when I get my head down, my appetites gone, just forget to eat, I relies when my body feels heavy, shaky & drained that I need fuel. I feel bad on my kids as being young I can't explain it to them, my eldest misses out somedays with me & her dad has her, Coz I'm so drained I can't do anything, I just wana be left alone and not deal with anything lock the door and sleep for days, not that I can. I'm on citalopram at the moment not been on
Em long. Feel worse at mo. But gotta wait for them to
Kick in. My partner feels unloved as I don't want cuddles kisses or anything, I even try to avoid conversation or tell him to stay away or leave! Jus Coz I wana be alone, it almost feels like desperation for it. I'm hoping I get a result from these tablets soon.:-(

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Buddwin said on 01 November 2010

Had depression 4 a long time 16 yrs when my oldest was born. Have had to deal with it ,my husband not very supportive coz u can't see the depression so to him I'm not ill ,have good days and bad days all I think of is my 2 kids that's what keeps me going and not taking my own life coz sometimes I have tried. You have to b focus n strong also have other health worries but that's another story.

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14142124 said on 23 October 2010

I'm 16 and I self harmed when I was younger. When I was about 13 my mum found out about she tried to get me to go and see someone but I didnt want to talk to anyone. Eventually I stopped self harming with the help of my parents and good friends and started feeling a lot better. Recently Ive been feeling really bad. I dont ever feel like going out or doing anything and sometimes I just dont care about anything. I dont feel like I have to energy to do anything, I'm always so tired. I have some friends but I mainly only see them in school time and I find myself making excuses to not go out. At home I just watch tv and films and read. I've put on a lot of weight recently too. Sometimes I have confidence in myself because I know I can do my a levels, it's with other people that I struggle with self confidence, I'd rather not speak to people at all than have them hate me. I feel quite ashamed of myself that I feel like this, my family do a lot for me and if I talked to them I think they would just dismiss it and say its down to hormones or something. I cant to to friends about it either, I think they would just think I am being stupid or attention seeking or self absorbed.

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chellela said on 16 October 2010

I have had depression, anxety issues and ocd since the age of 12, i was misdiagnosed by a psychologist and psychiatrist. My depression worsenedlater this year. so i went to see my G.P i seen one of the new doctors at our surgery who was very supportive she had me in once a week for a while then every 2 weeks then said she would like to see me every month she was very understanding and caring, she is off sick at the minute and i have had to see other doctors at the surgery and regardless of feeling so low one of the doctors said she would give me my medication on repeat prescription to save me from having to go in. even though i have had sucidal thoughts and have been self harming. i declined this offer and said i would wait until the other doctor is back soi could see her. might i add this doctor wasn't impressed i told her what i wanted to do, she even increased my medication which made me feel alot worse.i feel like i have no where to turn since the doctor i was seeing isn't well at the minute and i don't know when she will be back and the rest of them don't seem to listen or spend anytime with me im in and out in 2 minutes with the rest of them. i can't even have counselling as our service here has closed their waiting list so have to pay to see a private counsillor.

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spenny22 said on 14 October 2010

I have suffered from depression for many years but recently i have cut my heavy drinking back annd have to say feel a bit better.Alcohol IS a depressant and whilst i will continue to drink responsibly the days of me sneaking strong lager into my bedroom every night are over.Anyone reading this who feels low and are heavily boozing i would urge to get alcohol aware.

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vicky1147 said on 13 October 2010

Reading these comments i realised sometimes it just helps to put your thoughts out into the ether. So here's my story:

I think i've always had slight OCD and recently i've found out it manifests itself mainly in body dysmorphic disorder, which has gotten worse in the last few years.
Two years ago i left uni as i realised i didn't want to be doing my degree. Tried to do another but dropped out. I kind of withdrew. My so called friends obviously didn't care that much as they never contacted me much and i came back to my home city thinking things would get better. But i had to move in with my parents and things got worse. A year on and it's a little better. I finally have a good job and a handfull of friends that care, but i'm too afraid to talk to them in case i become a burden to them and i'm left with no friends.
I feel no one knows me or understands me and most people don't even try. I have a habit of escaping reality a lot by reading and watch tv too much. I spend more time in fantasy than reality and it's how i cope. I know it's dangerous to withdraw yourself that much and live your life in films and book but it's so much better than reality. I'd never consider killing myself tho but not participating in reality is nearly as bad....
The doctor diagnosed me with depression but could only refer my to the practise nurse who is a counsellor. It's not really proper help is it? I'm afraid to discuss this too because i feel people might dismiss it because i'm not showing it much or have a worse case or am suicidal.

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CaraTee said on 09 October 2010

@FRAGGED. I too have a similar story to you, depression started when I was about 13, struggled with it for 5 years until I found a really great GP. Unfortunately he's retired now and I'm back to GP's who don't understand or just don't have the time. So feel a bit lost and giving I'm up on them. Everything else you've said rings true to my experience. I notice it generally does get worse during the winter months, anyone else? I'm looking into the Seasonal Disorder too, see if the lights help.
Shame there isn't a NHS forum, shared experiences and support from people who have been through it helps.

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Fragged said on 08 October 2010

I think I have had depression for most of my life - at least since I was about 13. But it was never taken seriously, and so I achieved nothing at all at school. It comes and goes, but nothing that would 'fit' into the classical categories that most GPs seem to use to diagnose it. I can be fine for week or months, and then suddenly plummet - that can last for weeks, months or more. It isn't straightforward - it starts mildly, then stops. Then starts again, but worse, and then stops, and continues until I can't function any longer. Partners don't help, and often judge you as being too self involved, and one criticised me for taking medication. She simply refused to accept that sometimes it is the only way.

Well, it was under control for about 6 months, but it's starting again. GPs don't seem to give a stuff, and don't understand nor care. There is no one to turn to. No one.

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picklebob said on 06 October 2010

hello all i want to ask for advice about depression i just want some insight before i pursue it i have been feeling reallly down and just useless for ages now i always get the feeling my freinds dont want to know and just use me it make me really crap i cant get the courage to do anything and just cant bring myself to do the simplest things and it makes me feel even more down it gets to the point where i just wanna give up on everything and ive just had enough i want something to just help me deal with it cause i dont know what i wil do next if it continues

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ladeedeeladeedoo said on 04 September 2010

Hello everyone! Im 16 and have been diagnosed with depression for just over a year. Im just receiving psychological treatment as ive been told the tablets can be long to start working. As a result of this I didnt get to sit my 5th year exams. As the new school term has startd I started feeling better until I got told there are subjects they wont allow me to take because I dont have the grades. My education plan has gone to pot and I am starting to get worse again just as I was about to have my case closed. My friends have posted pictures of them slitting their wrists as a dig at me, te thing is I dont listen to "depressing" music I was quite the normal teenager, I just got bullied alot and when my friends started it I started to feel low. Mentally, I feel i am more mature than other people my age now and after being made fun of for being ill I know who I should and shouldnt be around. I feel like Im trying to get better but Ive got something tugging me back. I cant remember alot of things from my past anymore, I just blank them out, i suppose thats a good thing. If anyone needs and help at all I'll do my best for them, you're not the only one.

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sammey said on 30 August 2010

I have suffered with depression from the age of 17 and now am 56. The last episode was 2007 when my husband died and I am still struggling to keep thing together. I also suffer with anxiety and panic and very rarely go out because of it. I am taking antidepressants (Mirtazapine) and have been since 2007. I have had councelling but I feel this didn't help me. Three years on and I still find it difficult getting up each day and washing and dressing and find it extremley difficult preparing and cooking a meal for myself. I know I should see my GP again but for me it's not that easy.

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Lost girl said on 27 August 2010

I have been reading these comments and they have all been really insightful!! Depression is an idea that I have been trying to fight for many years now, as like some of you have mentioned I was put off the idea of medication. I thought I was just being a hypercondriac and so tried to get over it by myself. Unfortunately the feelings always come back to the same starting point and recently Iv felt Iike I'm starting to lose control of my emotions. I feel very lost at the moment and not really sure what direction to take to become fully happy again!! Like mentioned on here before, I too feel like a shadow of my old, normal self. The issue that puts me off seeking medical advice from a GP and has for a long time is that my job title is classed as being a 'professional' and as much as I admit to needing some support I can't risk losing my career that I have worked so hard for. The thing that scares me is when you do go to the GP for help it is all recorded on your medical records and I know that if it's recorded it will put an end to my career and thats something I can't afford to do. So I feel completely stuck of what to do for the best. do i seek medical advice, get my self sorted but lose my dream career, or continue to ignore these feelings in a hope to keep my job!! I think I would really benefit from councilling but to do that you need to again be happy for it to go on your medical records! I'm stuck!! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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bananacake said on 12 August 2010

After reading the comments, I'd like to share my experience.
About a month ago, a close friend convinced me to go to the doctor. I was worried that he would judge me, or that I would be wasting their time. He was understanding, and we talked through some issues. I was prescribed medicine, and am seeking counselling.
I've been taking Citalopram for just over a month now, and I've never felt better. I look forward to getting out of bed in the morning and spending the day outside, whereas before I often wouldn't leave my bedroom. There's still some issues to be worked through, but it will be much easier now that I am feeling better.
There is a bad attitude amongst some people towards mental illness, although I think this may be changing.
The few friends I've spoken to about it were great, and understand how the medication works. The only people who don't (unfortunately) are my parents, mainly due to misunderstanding what depression is and how it is treated.
I'd urge anyone considering visiting their GP to do so. They're there to help you. Don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise. Seek help.

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Alan Shepherd said on 28 July 2010

Graduategirl
Like I said in my earlier comment, you have to fight for your treatment. Your GP is not an expert and it is expert help that you need. Go back to your GP and demand to see a psychiatrist or a member of your local crisis team, failing this go to an out of hours service at your local hospital where you will be able to seek psychiatric help, best of luck.

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alfie123 said on 27 July 2010

@ graduate girl 27 July
Your case of depression sounds very similar to my own - during my A levels I became uncharacteristically insular, negative and retreated to a dark inner world. It was very hard for my family and friends to understand why I was suddenly so different, so unhappy. I began to disassociate with the world, I became deluded about things and lost concentration easily making studying for my exams near impossible. I was unable to live up to the high standards I set for myself and felt I had let myself down. I was also a high achiever, the top of my class through secondary school yet behind the grades was an unhappy person with very low self-esteem and low confidence behind a cheery mask.

I would strongly advise seeking a councillor of some sort and I am surprised your GP didn't refer you to one. I think realising I had depression was part of getting better as with practice you can start training your brain to ignore negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones, breaking the spiral of negativity that brings you lower. It is not easy at first but you can do it.

It is now three years since my period of depression and I am happier, more confident and more self-assured than I have ever been. Whilst recovering I began to realise how unhelpful my old though patterns were and how my stressy lifestyle didn't help matters.
If you would like to talk to me about it, I can provide you with an email contact. Best wishes.

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anongirl said on 27 July 2010

Im a 24 graduate and am highly ambitious used to be so sociable and was a high achiever and somehow everything has all gone wrong. Im now insular and avoid seeing my old friends as i feel a shadow of my former self. I haven't achieved anything i thought i would by now. i hate going out so much so i stopped going to work with no explanation so have now lost my job, ill need to pay the rent next month but im feeling quite detached so just feel like i don't care. i went to the doctors and they just threw some anti depressants at me and said i was moderately depressed and probably never dealt with the grief of my brother dying from cancer when i was 19.The thing is i haven't taken the anti depressants as im scared ill never come off them and my mum was on them throughout my childhood which really upset me as a child so i have negative feelings towards using them. why can't my doctor point me in the direction of a councilor? I feel if i just had someone to talk to things could get better?

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Alan Shepherd said on 26 July 2010

Its difficult when you have depression, where to go, who to tell. what to do. Depression is an illness and you do need to seek help, your doctor is one way but I feel that the best way is through your local hospital via the crisis team, these are people who understand mental illness. But by my own experience you have to fight for what you want, don't be put off and don't be ignored stand your ground and fight for your right to get the treatment you deserve. I wish I could wave a magic wand and you would all be cured, but I can't but I am here for anyone who needs advice or just a shoulder to cry on. I will look in every day from now on because I do care and I will do what I can.

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tawanda said on 25 July 2010

Dear Chaser,

You are not in any way causing your partner to hit you, he is choosing to do this, and there is help here for you, you can seek help and assistance for you and your children, You can go to your Social Services and they will assist they will not judge you, but help you in the seeking some peace in yours and your children's life, something you deserve, he makes you feel that you are worthless, as this is what he thinks will keep you with him, as he knows he can not keep you if you were thinking straight, which you obviously are as you have contacted this site, well done. Social services can help as you have your children they will NOT want to take your children, rather they will help you and your children gain freedom from him they can and do work with the police in order to get a restriction order if he wont leave the house. You say in your e-mail it is your house so this is also in your advantage as he will have to leave if you want that. Please seek help, there are special units for women in this situation, this is because there are so many men that do this, so you are not going mad or bad it is him. The fear you feel is a weapon he uses, you deserve to be loved not hurt. You will get nearer to this with every step you take away from him. please let me know and take good care of yourself and your children x

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Alan Shepherd said on 25 July 2010

I have suffered depression now for 18 months, I have been on the brink of suicide but I did not give in. I have learned to develop coping strategies, what I mean by this is each time I have a low and I come through I remember what helped me to cope. It could be phoning the samaritans or confiding in a friend, these strategies become tools in your fight to beat depression, the more tools you have the better your chances.
What could help all of us is communication, someone to contact when you feel low, a self help email.
Anyone any thoughts.

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orangejuice said on 01 July 2010

I am nearly 18, and have had depression for around 1 year, and I am on citalopram. I have run out of tablets and cannot see my doctor now for 3 weeks. I am in my first week, and I honestly thought I would be fine; the tablets helped and I felt 'normal' again. I was so wrong - I already feel awful, aswell as my moods being at an all time low, my head also hurts like crazy. I am so scared and nervous to have to explain this to another doctor, as I feel sort of ashamed of it.

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Dominicsmummyuk1 said on 01 July 2010

today its just occured to me that i may be suffering from depression...when my son was born in 2003 he was diagnosed as paritally sighted and has since been registered blind as his vision is worst than they thought...hes been through alot over the years...almost died in 2007 during routine ENT surgery because he had an undiagnosed platelet problem...since then there is a very rare syndrome that includes his eye conditions and a bleeding disorder...ive had many periods in the past where i have just burst into tears and once i start i cant stop...i am having such an episode right now as my sons due his test for this syndrome on July 27th...feeling quite low but unsure its actually depression since i am so happy 95% of the time....

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dicaldio said on 28 June 2010

I am a 34 year old man who has only recently had the wake-up call with depression, and have this morning decided to see my GP about it. I have suffered sporadically with undiagnozed for about the last 10 years, which has had a massive impact on my career and my confidence. Up till this year I had (on average) one fit a year, but this year I have had 7 or 8 in the last 10 weeks, culminating in 10 weeks off work sick. I have been worried to death (literally) about my work, my finances, and the social stigma of my condition.
Last night I spoke to an ex-girlfriend about this, and my continuing thoughts of suicide, which was a great help,... the only thing that has stopped me taking my own life so far has not been my family or friends, but who will look after my dog. Silly, but at least I know that I have something that I don't want to 'leave behind', This morning I spoke to my mother who said that she had been worried for sometime, and could 'see this coming'..I don't know how the GP aapointment will go, but I feel so much better for discussing things with people I can trust.

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xannax said on 21 June 2010

I started having suicidal thoughts when I was 12 and started harming when I was 14. I've probably tried nearly everywhere. My arms, shoulder, stomach, leg, ankle, hand and knees are the places I can remember trying. Luckily, since going to counselling and taking tablets, I have been able to get better.

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shepurredmeow said on 23 May 2010

I'm nearly 18 years old, I think I've been suffering from depression since i was 13. I've been fighting it since I found out my mom went through having depression too. She told me after I had been self harming for 2 years and had already attempted suicide. There are days when everything seems so pointless, when life itself just seems so patheticly so. I can bottle it up and live with it. But it's not fixing anything. I had counseling when i was 15, due to a emotional break down during school. It didn't help, I just couldn't tell a stranger about my suicide attempts or my self harming , because, yes, it felt as if i was weak. I dont know what causes it. and the fact I leave college soon scares me because I'll have nothing to distract me.

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Lysette said on 10 May 2010

i'm sixteen years old and i have been suffering from depression for almost three years now, although it is not noticable anymore as i am a happy girl now thanks to the support i got from young concern in my area, i still have rough days and although i am 16 i know what its like to feel like theres no way out. I have my whole life to live and i hope it will be a happy one, I do not want to be the way i used to be because that person was afraid and pathetic, now i'm a fighter who doesnt see the point at sixteen worrying too much when the rest of my life is shouting at me to get a move on.

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rs87 said on 27 April 2010

This is going to sound stupid...but how do you approach your doctor without seeming like your wanting attention?

My Vicar (and very close friend) wants me to see the doctor, I just don't know how to approach the matter, I know logically he will listen, but I'm also scared I wont be able to tell him what is really going on, if you know what I mean.

I love my father to bits, but he has some very funny ideas about depression, and I have to be strong, and cant show weakness and I am so scared that by asking for help, I'll be wrong...

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trev1w said on 28 March 2010

hunnuhx .
Hi, you need to be brave and take the first step freedom ( recovery) by making an appointment and telling your parents. The bullying might have stopped but the psychological damage has been done, and, can't be undone until you start talking openly and calmly to your GP and your parents. But you need to get printouts of caring for some one with depression, this should give your parents an idea of how best to help you. This is important because if they try to talk to you in the wrong tone of voice or use the wrong words they could end up making your depression worse. As for BULIMIA, get help now!!!!!!!!!!!! Eating disorders like this cause life threatening damage to internal organs as well as stomach acid dissolving your teeth or rupturing the eusophgus. At the other end severe damage to the large intestine and the bowels. If you have ever had acid indigestion you will know the burning feeling in your throat, now imagine that going right through the digestive system, (your mouth to your backside) uncomfortable eh? But unfortunately it comes with agonising pain, a thousand times worse than any self harming could ever be.
I suffer from; rheumatiod arthritis, tinnitus ( ring in the ears) and severe depression, I am studying psychology at college and have just started an essay about eating disorders and personal experience in the form of my daughter made me reply to you now. Even when you stop making yourself vomit, taking laxitives or starving your self you are still at risk of organ failure leading to death, depending on the length and severity of your bulimia, so PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE go see your GP now, before your family has to go through the torture of watching you die a slow agonisning death.
TREV1 all the best get well soon.

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girl27 said on 23 March 2010

Hi. I'm writing this as my partner would like me to see my GP about depression. I have looked at the symptoms on the NHS website and whilst all the symptoms apply to me, I have been like this since I was very young, around 4 or 5 years of age, Is it possible to be depressed from this age, and for so long? I don't want to go to the doctors and embarass myself if this is just the sort of person I am. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thankyou.

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wilko1234 said on 27 February 2010

Hey,

I wouldn't worry about whether or not you're depressed. The important thing is to ask help from a friend, family or a doctor. Your problem is just as important as anyone elses. If it's affecting your life it's the same as a broken leg any other problem which may effect your life.

My friend who lives in my house with me suffers from depression and my father does too. It was horrible to see him like that, but I gave him loads of support and he recovered really quickly. I took my friend to the doctors and we spoke to the doctor about depression and I sat in with her. The doctor was really understanding and more than willing to help and offered lots of solutions which they'll be able to offer you too. She has had boyfriend troubles too and it's not a silly reason to be depressed. Infact some people can become depressed for no reason whatsoever, so at least you're going with a reason and an explanation as to why you feel this way.

If you don't feel like you can talk to anyone I feel that your doctor is a good starting point, and perhaps a counsellor, which you can probably arrange through your doctor. Your doctor will keep all your information confidential, so if you still don't want to discuss it with anyone after seeing the doctor, no one will ever find out you've been.

I really hope that helps you, and please get help, the sooner you do the sooner you can start to feel normal again and back on top of the world.

x

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AimeeLouise111 said on 27 February 2010

I think I might be depressed, but im too scared to tell anyone. And I don't really know what to do.

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Jayde said on 21 February 2010

How will you no if you have depression or greif.? i split up with someone over a year ago and i cant move on no matter what i do. i dont have self harming thoughts or anything that extreme but i cry alot and i think about the whole situation all day everyday. sometimes i cant get to sleep either. i dont want to go to the doctor incase they laugh or just think im being silly. i no people have worse problems and mine seems silly. But i dont want to be sad anymore its been a year and i just cant move on or get over it. someone help.

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Jayde said on 21 February 2010

How am i going to know if im depressed or if its just that grief thing?. i split up with my boyfriend of 3 years a year ago and i cant get over it. i dont have thought of killing or harming myself or anything that extreme but i cry alot and i think about it everyday. i want to hate him and things but i cant, its hard for me to move on and i dont want any other men near me. i dont want to go to the doctors or anything because they will probably laugh at me as people have bigger porblems than this. i just dont know what to do.?

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Caspar said on 08 February 2010

Dear plzhlp90,

If you are feeling in despair try and find someone you trust to talk to - a friend, family member or your doctor.

Samaritans provide confidential non-judgemental support, 24 hours a day. You can call them on 08457 90 90 90 or email jo@samaritans.org. Their website is at www.samaritans.org.

On NHS Choices we have a Live Well page on depression at http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Depression/Pages/Depressionhome.aspx which offers advice on coping with depression and tips on how to improve your mood. We also have a mental health blog where you can discuss living with depression with other people in similar situations at http://talk.nhs.uk/blogs/mentalhealth/default.aspx

We hope that the above information is of use to you.

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plzhlp90 said on 07 February 2010

hello there im new to this .i have suffered with depression since september 09. my daughter died when i was in prison and since then i have been on citalopram 20mg/40mg. i would like anyone to tlk to me please as dont think i can last much longer.

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xanders said on 05 February 2010

I rang the Samaritans twice today and it really helped. I also rang a good friend and watched a comedy. A walk in town also helped even though I felt dreadful.

This current bout of depression hit two months ago and it wasn't shifting. I think my mistake was to hide away from everyone and everything by staying indoors. Although this feels the right thing to do in the short-term I think in the medium to long term it makes the depression grow. Quality social contact and just getting out the house can elevate mood. I hadn't realised but I was hiding online for 2 months and trying to hide from the world.

I'm going to try and get out more and be more sociable even though a lot of my friendships have ended due to me learning to be more assertive towards certain people.

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xanders said on 05 February 2010

@Paula L:

I had a friend who was unsympathetic to people with depression. I temporarily lost contact with him when he moved away as he had a new fiance and a busy job. However I used to get the odd text every year or so.

Interestingly a few years later I got a phone call from him. He told me how he had had depression for about 6 months and he was very apologetic to me for not understanding before. He couldn't believe I had suffered it for decades. He was also very understanding regarding why I had found it hard to hold down a full time job.

Sometimes people only understand through experience... I must admit that if I had never experienced depression then I would probably just have assumed that people were moaning and exaggerating, however having experienced it for so long I now never invalidate someone's description of their situation.

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yinage said on 05 February 2010

ive suffered from depression on and off since i was eleven ( im now 16), and because of this site i just had the courage to go to my GP after i began selfharming.
what i hated was having to tell my parents, as theyre first question was "how do you know you are depressed?" - as if i couldn't tell the difference between this and being upset!
what struck me though is that me and 3 of my friends now selfharm, and my friend knows a further two more. why are we doing this, and what does this say about society?

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v1ck said on 23 December 2009

I have had depression for nearly 15 years, medication is nothing to be afraid of and you must learn to except if a few pills make life worth living and enable you to cope it is beter than struggling on. No cause has ever been found for my illness and yes i have copeing strategies but some days i still want to stop and die, Some times for a day or more and sometimes for a few hours before i can focus and cope again with moving forward. Tell your friends if you can,i bet they have had depression as well and true friends can be worth their weight in gold on a low day/hour/week. Saying to yourself i am depressed but i will not feel like this forever can help, its like a chant and can help you to make sense of it whilst your low. Make sure you tell your partner when your on a high! how much you love them because we are feeling it, the rawness and all the emotion ......and so are they and then they often have to pick up the pieces.
REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT ALONE x

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staci85 said on 13 November 2009

User366135 i think the reason people say those things to you is because they do not understand depression. It is very hard for someone who doesnt suffer or never has suffered to be able to truly understand and offer sympathy/help/advice for depression. It is very hard to tell someone how you are feeling but it is probally the first step in getting better so well done!! talking to people firstly gets stuff off our chests and then enables us to talk through solutions in making things better and even if you think things cant be made better we can work out ways around things, if you know what i mean?
Its good to hear you are feeling better but be careful because the medication can become addictive and may make you feel like you can not go on without it, which i believe isnt true! If you continue to think positive and talk i think your find youll start to feel ok again!?

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User366135 said on 02 November 2009

I suffer from manic depression, and as I'm 17 years old, it took a long while for it to get noticed. Only after several attempted suicides did people start taking me seriously. I wish that people had a better judgement towards teenage depression as often people think it's just hormones and growing up. But it is serious.
The hardest thing was telling some people and all they would do is look at me ang say 'Why? You're not depressed,' which makes me very angry and frustrated. Just because I seem fine when I'm around people doesn't mean I am healthy mentally. However, things are a lot better since I have been put on medication, so hopefully things should start to get better :) .

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PAULA L said on 31 October 2009

Why is it when you read about depression it is classed as a serious illness, but if you mention it to someone they look at you as if your " just a bit sad" . Suffering from it myself for the last 18 years i know how soul destroying it actually is.

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