Depression - Symptoms

Symptoms of depression

When to seek help

If you experience symptoms of depression for most of the day, every day for more than two weeks, you should seek help from your GP.

The symptoms of depression can be complex and vary widely between people. But as a general rule, if you are depressed, you feel sad, hopeless and lose interest in things you used to enjoy.

The symptoms persist for weeks or months and are bad enough to interfere with your work, social life and family life.

There are many other symptoms of depression and you're unlikely to have every one listed below.

If you experience some of these symptoms for most of the day, every day for more than two weeks, you should seek help from your GP.

Psychological symptoms include:

continuous low mood or sadness
feeling hopeless and helpless
having low self-esteem
feeling tearful
feeling guilt-ridden
feeling irritable and intolerant of others
having no motivation or interest in things
finding it difficult to make decisions
not getting any enjoyment out of life
having suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming yourself
feeling anxious or worried

Physical symptoms include:

Moving or speeking more slowly than usual
change in appetite or weight (usually decreased, but sometimes increased)
constipation
unexplained aches and pains
lack of energy or lack of interest in sex
changes to your menstrual cycle
disturbed sleep (for example, finding it hard to fall asleep at night or waking up very early in the morning)

Social symptoms include:

not doing well at work
taking part in fewer social activities and avoiding contact with friends
neglecting your hobbies and interests
having difficulties in your home and family life

Depression can come on gradually and so it can be difficult to notice that something is wrong. Many people continue to try to cope with their symptoms without realising they are ill. It can take a friend or family member to suggest that something is wrong.

Doctors describe depression by how serious it is

Mild depression has some impact on your daily life.
Moderate depression has a significant impact on your daily life.
Severe depression makes it almost impossible to get through daily life. A few people with severe depression may have psychotic symptoms.

Grief and depression

It can be hard to distinguish between grief and depression. They share many of the same characteristics, but there are important differences between them.

Grief is an entirely natural response to a loss, while depression is an illness.

People who are grieving find their feelings of loss and sadness come and go, but they're still able to enjoy things and look forward to the future.

In contrast, people who are depressed have a constant feeling of sadness. They don't enjoy anything and find it hard to be positive about the future.

Other types of depression

There are different types of depression, and some conditions where depression may be one of the symptoms. These include:

Postnatal depression. Some women develop depression after having a baby. Postnatal depression is treated in similar ways to other forms of depression, with talking therapies and antidepressant medicines.
Bipolar disorder is also known as 'manic depression'. It's where there are spells of depression and also of excessively high mood (mania). The depression symptoms are similar to clinical depression, but the bouts of mania can include harmful behaviour such as gambling, going on spending sprees and having unsafe sex.
Seasonal affective disorder (SAD). Also known as 'winter depression', SAD is a type of depression that has a seasonal pattern usually related to winter.

Comments

78 Comments about ‘Symptoms’

Our rules:

Comments are personal views. Any information they give has not been checked and may not be accurate.

Djv said on 20 May 2012

I have been to my GP about depression, as I have alot of the symptoms and my partner and family also said that they think I have depression. My GP told me that it could be because I am overweight and need to do exercise, I weigh 11 stone and I am 6 ft 2. He made me feel like I am making everything up and that I just need to loose weight and that will solve all of my problems. I still suffer from the symptoms and refuse to go to my GP about anything now.

Djv said on 20 May 2012

Louise15 said on 16 May 2012

Im only a teenager and i have started showing symptoms of depression over the past few weeks. i know what has led to these symptoms and some days they can be worse than others ive not told anyone apart from one friend about these symptoms i dont know what to do about them im only a teenager and have never dealt with anything like this before . i know you all think i sound stupid because im only young but anyone can suffer from depression.

guinevere67 said on 10 May 2012

i have most of the symptoms of depression but think i have been trying to deny it for a long time. i blame myself for everything. i have two teenage girls and have been remarried for 7 years. i came from a marriage where i put a happy front on all the time in front of others to the extent that no one could believe why i left. He was a soldier and we lived abroad, i had a good job and loads of friends, but i didnt want anyone to know that he was very controlling and made me feel guilty for everything. When i left, with my girls, i had to start all over again in this country, leaving behind my job and all my friends. i had little support from my family cos id done such a good job of covering the hurt that they blamed me for leaving. When i met and married a lovely man who took on me and the girls i thought id be ok. The fact that he didnt nag me for sex all the time and didnt follow me around all the time, checking up on me and checking my friends was a breath of fresh air. But over the years its started to make me feel quite lonely. i have no friends outside work and find it hard to leave the house other than work. My husband is a lovely man but finds it hard to show emotion and i now find it hard to communicate with him as i feel so down all the time. My girls are at an age now where they are making their own way in life and no longer need me to do things for them. I feel totally useless now as a wife and a mother and its having an effect on my marriage because the more i try to get any emotion out of my husband, the more he tends to shut down. now i feel like im totally on my own and sometimes i just drive out in my car and sit in the middle of nowhere for hours. i know my behaviour is totally irrational and i worry all the time that hes had enough. i just feel like no one gives a damn

babyblue123 said on 07 May 2012

as everybody knows, one less stress is one less bit depressed. the second thing i did was to make an effort to go to a class, sure it is still hard and sometimes i only make it in one day a week, but when i get into my classroom sit down and my day begins i feel a little triamph that i did it, i got their, i made it easy on myself to do this by not bothering with make up or looking nice just wearing what i felt was quick and easy so it wasnt such a mission to get up with the knowledge that i didnt have to bother with make up or hair straighting, was one thing that allowed me to find it easier to get out the door, so when the day finished i could curl up in bed with the knowledge that i had done something useful and productive in the right direction and it helped me sleep. getting a whole peice of coursework done and in on time was a huge part of over comming my depression, i started out small, doing small peices of work that were only 300 words or so, putting in the effort and handing it in, and it was the best feeling knowing i didnt have to skip that day, or make up an excuse in class,overcomming those tiny little obstacals can make all the different in the way you feel, it took me 3 weeks of doing little but eventually i started doing a bit more coursework, going in a few more times and as my stress and worrying calmed down, the more i was determined to shine threw, sometimes i still slip back into my old habbit but i inform my tutors truthfully of why im not in, and try and do something little, if i couldnt get up for college even just doing the washing up or changing the bed sheets helps me know that i havnt layed in bed all day and lost the day. whatever works for you but i hope this inspires peoples You can beat depression! X

babyblue123 said on 07 May 2012

unfortunately i know like most people how depression affects you, im 19 years old and recently decided to go back to college, its great the first month, when everythings new and exciting your doing something you love and you cant wait to finally do something with your life then bam! depression hits you in the face, it started off by taking a day off here and there just to be lazy and have a good sleep and relaxing time, that's how it started, slowly i began taking more time off as i felt i could do my coursework on my own free will at home, but that wasn't the case, i started getting behind on little bits of work so when they were due in id miss college and then spend ages trying to make up an excuses as to why i wasn't in, which began to make me feel really worthless, like i could have gone in but was just to lazy too, as the coursework piled up on me i lost my motivation to do it which made me feel like crap, i then started finding it difficult to get up for my alarms and then would decided to take the day off so i could sleep, but would end up wide awake 1 hour after my lessons stated and then i would cry because i know i should have gone in and didnt but i just couldnt face all the questions and shouting from my tutors. ive now got to the stage where all i want to do is lie in bed all day long, the only thing i get up and do is go to my one day a week job which i do still enjoy, but even know im starting to loose my movitation for that! however I have found a way to help deal with this type of depression and it can be applied to all sorts! i began telling myself to ensure i informed my course tutors of what was going on, which made me feel a bit better, i told them i was still interested in the course and wanted to continue and they were supportive and didnt threaten to kick me off as long as i kept them updated and made an effort to hand work in, so slowly i stated to hand in peices of prority work so that was one less stress for me - continue in next post

Ashcutus said on 03 May 2012

I'm writing this almost as as a release more than anything!

I was with my now ex partner for 3 1/2 years, and when I met her she was uffering with severe depression, and being nieve I really didnt know what the problem was. After several months of mood swings and arguments, I understood exactly what was happening, the times to give space, and the times to just give her a cuddle. She is still recovering, but she is getting there, and I wish her all the best.

Now, during our time together, i went from being in a stable job, to being made unempployed. I ended up moving in with her, but now we have seperated I have found myself on my own, in a very poorly paid job, away from everyone I care about. I have found myself waking up at all hours of the night, even when i'm exausted, I'm now drinking more than I did before (i've always liked a beer), and eating complete crap. I have lost motivation for the work I do (in a job I do enjoy) and have even got to the stage of snapping at people.

If I was looking in on myself, I would say go get help, but I just dont know what to do. I feel like i'm trapped in a cage of wake up, goto work, come home, pay bills - rinse and repeat. I dont eat several days of the week because I cant afford to.

Anyways, I've had a bit of a rant, its made me feel a bit better, but if anyone is reading these who knows someone in a similar position to me, just let them know you care, ask them to talk (my ex hated it, but when she opened up, had a bit of a cry she felt better) -I dont have anyone atm - let them know, and for gods sake dont say "just get on with it" - you will be doing more harm than you know,

_AraKhan said on 30 April 2012

My name's Ara and I'm 20. I have 14 symptoms of depression stated above. For a few months now, I've been feeling really down on my self, I've no friends, no motivation, no fun in life, thinking suicidal thoughts and I don't feel happy. I'm studying to go University next year to study BSC childrens nursing, but I feel like I won't get anywhere because my academic writing is just making me fail my courseworks. I can't reach a distinction and I'm always getting a pass. I can't produce any excellent work. I feel really sad about myself everyday, I cry sometimes when the atmosphere is quiet. I feel really unhappy, I've no friends to enjoy life with. Everything is difficult. Stress and pressure just keeps adding on

I feel like I won't ever become a nurse because the motivation for it is just gone. I'm not doing well in College. Universities have rejected me. My mother, on the other hand degrades me. I may have dyslexia and that has made a big affect on my work because I feel as I'm to dumb that I can't submit any work. Nobody understands. I don't want to be in this world anymore. My mother doesn't let me out of the house, and because of that I have no friends to go out with. I feel too sad to do anything

I can't even get out of bed to attend College/work and my attendance and punctuality has gone below 80%. I feel stupid, I don't understand tasks for cousework. My life feels completely crap. I have no hobbies anymore. All I do is cry. I feel as I won't have a successful future. I'm crying as I write this, I feel I will never become a nurse. All I ever wanted to do was show my family I am able to do what I love, but in fact I can't do what I love because I'm stupid. My daily life upsets me

When I sleep, I would wake up atleast 3pm and miss half a day. If I make plans to go out with my relatives or to go gym I can never wake up for my alarm. I feel like there is nothing to wake up for. Everyday I wake up, I feel as what is there to do? I will never be successful

Vix B said on 23 April 2012

Comment to Annibeth. I was made redundant 7 years ago and have not had a proper job since. It has been very hard but after seeing a close relative diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and losing my brother in a car accident at only 27yrs old, I realise how very lucky I am. I still dont have a full time job, (not through lack of trying) but I volunteer help one day a week in a local school and also at a brownie guides group which is only one hour a week but its great fun and I have recovered a lot of my self esteem by helping in these organisations.I have come to realise you dont have to be in a paid job to make a worthwhile contribution and feel good about yourself.

AnniBeth said on 18 April 2012

I've read these comments with interest because up until a year ago I'd never even thought about depression or the many people suffering from it. If you'd told me then I'd now be one of them I'd have laughed at you. Then I lost my job in the recession.

This was a shock but did not cause any immediate alarm, as I thought I'd soon find something else. I'm 34 with a degree and a good level of work experience. Which I've soon learned means nothing now. Over a year later and over 1, 000 unsuccessful job applications has taken their toll.

I've gone from a happy, outgoing person with lots of friends and a busy social life to a sad, withdrawn and reclusive woman who has no interest in anything anymore. I struggle to get out of bed every day as there seems no point, with no structure and no routine. I have no appetite anymore and have lost 3 stone without even trying.

I often cry over nothing, then feel stupid for doing so. I wear the same pyjama's for weeks and can't be bothered to wash my hair when before I was meticulous about my appearance. People say go on holiday or get out and see friends, but my friends all work and I can't afford to go away or go on trips with them anymore, so it's a catch 22.

Even going to the kitchen to make a cup of tea seems too much effort. I still apply for jobs but it's almost on autopilot now, as I know deep down it's pointless. I feel worthless and useless, a total waste of space and on the scrap heap, like so many others. Every night I close my eyes and wish I was someone else as I hate being me. And all this because I lost my job.

I guess what I'm trying to say is depression can affect anyone at any time, no matter what your current circumstances. I'd give anything to go back to last year and be the person I was again but I fear it's too late now, I'm just beyond all help and what's even worse is I feel I've let my family down more than myself. When they look at me I see the disappointment. So I know how you all feel.

AnniBeth said on 18 April 2012

I've found reading these comments very interesting, because up until a year ago, I never gave more than a passing thought to depression or those who suffered from it. If you'd told me then I'd now be suffering from it myself, I'd have laughed at you. Then I was made redundant from my job. While this was a shock, it didn't immediately affect me. I was sure with my skills and experience I'd soon find something else and duly set out applying for jobs. Over a year and over 800 unsuccessful applications later has taken its toll. I've gone from being a happy, outgoing person with lots of friends and a great social life to a sad, withdrawn and reclusive person. I find it hard to get out of bed, as there seems no point anymore with no structure and no routine to my day. I apply for jobs still, but it's almost on autopilot now, going through the motions as I know nothing will come of them. I've lost all interest in friends, family and socialising. My once healthy appetite is poor; I never feel hungry and have lost over 2 stone without even trying. People say go out and do something, go on holiday or go see friends, to try and help. But my friends all work and I can't afford to go away or do anything, so it's a catch 22. I find it hard to get to sleep at night, which was never a problem before and even walking into the kitchen to make a cup of tea seems too much effort. I often start crying about nothing at all, then hate myself for being so ridiculous. I often wear the same pyjama's for weeks and can't be bothered to wash my hair, when before I was meticulous about my clothes and appearance. My body aches with lethargy but the thought of going out for a walk is even too much effort. I'm 34 and feel like my life is useless and hopeless and I'm no good to anyone. Just on the scrap heap like so many others. And all this because I lost my job. This illness really can happen to anyone at any time, no matter what your current circumstances.

useless1 said on 17 April 2012

i know im depressed, i have been told by lots of people i need help, but in my religion we have organised marages, and once i have a mental health record there is no chance, and i will be alone for ever.
I am 24 years old, i did a BSC in childrens nursing, finished the course, but disided not to practice, then i worked for a year until i dicided to do a teacher training course. i hate teaching, i speak much to fast and get very anxious. i know its stupid but i cant slow down. I failed a placement, and the rest of the course are doing amazingly. i want to quit, but i dont know what i want to do, i have already quit two things........
my grandfather died recently, everyone thinks i am crying because of that, but i just feel numb about that, ( it was a sudden death which resulted in me doing cpr in the street...) i just cry all the time because i feel so hopeless, i feel like i have no future, my younger sister recently got engaged........ i just feel so stupid all the time, i was labeled with dyslexia when i was a kid, but always ignored it, now i realise i am not like everyone else and i really am special needs.......
i know i need help but i have worked with mentel health professionals in the past and have little faith in them.......................

Mummysboy said on 17 April 2012

My son has been diagnosed with depression ,at the moment he is totally not himself he's ruined his relationship with his girlfriend & not interested in his own daughter or anything else , he's been on tablets for 1 week ..we don't know how long he's had it but he's had trouble at work for a while ..i just hope when he sees a counciler (sorry can't spell that ) that they can help him ..he's living back home with us for a couple of weeks but i don't know what he can do when his own family is splitting up & he says he's leaving here today ... we feel so helpless & don't know what to do for him but we don't want him on his own ....

JudgeMeNotMyDepression said on 15 April 2012

Im 20, ive had depression since i can remember, im just getting sick of not sleeping, the horrible thoughts and the blankness i go through everyday. I am obsessed with music but even that makes things worst, ive spoken to my mum and brother about it but they think im joking, i constantly where a long sleeved t shirt to stop these so called "perfect" people making remarks or judgements about the scars on my arms and if they do see them and say something it makes me just want to add another one to the tally chart of times i want out of this hell, ive no real idea who am i anymore, i just seem to be another statistic to anyone, i have a few friends who understand me but thier idea of helping is "come down to the pub mate" which is the last place i want to find meself for certain reasons.

lilykiss12 said on 11 April 2012

Im 22 and have had depresion for the last few years, some months i feel ok but the majority of the time i feel so low i just dont have the energy to get out of bed.
I did see my GP last year and she reccomended me for couselling, whih i didnt find helpful at all so i cancelled the sessions.
At the moment im at a real low point and i feel so guilty becaus i have nothing to make me feel sad, i have an amazing partner, a fantastic job and a stable home life, this is what i think started making me feel low because i moved in with my mum at 17 and we did not get on at all and had rguments pretty much everyday untli she kicked me out for good a year ago for not looking after her dogs at the weekend.
I sometimes wish that something bad would happen to me so that i would get noticed by my family and they showed that they loved me evn though i know they do, my mum thinks i am attention seeking and do not have depression which is ironic as she is a mental health nurse.
to be honest i just want somebody to talk to, i dont feel as though my partner or my family will understand what i am going though and i dont feel as though i can talk to them.

Shannon95Louise said on 10 April 2012

I'm 16 years old and have around 8 symptoms from the list. I've been feeling low for about a year but when i tried to explain it i couldn't. It has recently got worse as i was kicked out of my parents house because my and mum would always argue. i was also on an apprenticeship and i lost my job as they went into recession, i felt as though everything hit me at once and the only thing keeping me going was my job. Recently i found myself cancelling plans with the girls because i just can't face going out. I'd find myself bursting into tears over nothing then i would get angry at myself because i don't know why i was crying. i don't know what to do or if i should be feeling like this. The thing that made me question my behavior was when i was getting ready this morning i just felt so ugly and worthless i just wanted to cut off all my hair i tried pulling it out, i got myself into such a state. Most of the time i want to run away, but i want to run away from myself so i don't feel like this anymore. I don't have anyone to talk too as i can't explain why i feel like this. Any advice would be appreciated.

kiloherz said on 04 April 2012

I'm in my late 40's, single, have nearly all of the psych symptoms, and a few of the others. I've had very mild depression before and doc gave me a numbing cocktail which I hated. Don't want that again but also don't want to feel so utterly pointless. I'm aware that outwardly just going through the motions of living, being a nice chap etc but inwardly feel that everything is a waste of time; worried that inner feelings will overtake me. Fighting it but don't know if I'm winning. Any one know what I'm talking about and if you do, some ideas please.

LL01 said on 02 April 2012

13 can be tough there is a lot going on physically and mentally!! and don't get me started on parents being unfair!! I know this as I'm a parent of 2 teenagers and sometimes I get it wrong and can be too tough on them!!
There is help out there but it can be difficult to find the right sort.
Here is a link to some self help that has free downloads and workbooks.

http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/freedownloads2.htm

I would say try working through some of this stuff first you might find it difficult but that might be because you're not feeling great- but keep at it even if you only do a little bit at a time.

And if it gets worse or is not improving then seek more help. You could try talking to a teacher but make sure it is one you feel comfortable with and don't worry if they don't respond right- I think it can be frightening for them we someone shares this sort of thing. You can also see if the school has a counsellor or pastoral care that can help.

MikeyBL said on 25 March 2012

I was doing homework on different illnessess for Science and realised that when I found this I have 8 Phsycological symptoms, 2 Physical symptoms and all of the social symptoms. I know I am always down because my mum always tells me to brighten up a little bit and I think she really worried about me. My dad and sister don't help at all either they just make my life worse. My sister annoys me to the point that I start hitting he with things and my dad is basically saying I do everything wrong and then I get massive concequences for it. Today I said the F word because I hurt my foot and I got grounded for five weeks. I'm pretty sure that made it ten times worse. I'm only 13 and I know I'm suffering depression. It started a couple weeks ago because I used to love hockey but now I just can't be asked to play it.

JordanAnonymous said on 22 March 2012

I've been experiencing 16 of these listed symptoms for around a year now, though they've been getting gradually worse. I'm only 15 years old, should I be worried?

Eden19 said on 22 March 2012

I don't want to admit to myself that I have a problem let alone an illness. I feel like its all just hit me at one even though iv been feeling like this on and off for the past year one month I'm 'depressed' the next month I'm fine. People seam to be concerned about me but i just keep telling them "I'm okay" and "not to worry about me". Deep down inside I know I'm not okay. All this has only just come to light today as a tutor at college pulled me to one side and asked me how I was and told me she though I was depressed and that its an illness that's not my fault and that I should got to my GP, this really made me realise everything, that all the signs and symptoms pointed towards it. Not sleeping, No appetite what so every, no interest in men or sex at all, feeling so low about myself and that I'll never get able to get into uni because I wont be able to get the grades all I have to do is make myself do the work but I cant and I don't know why because iv got 3 conditional places. I feel like I'm being so selfish and just want to be 'me' again and be happy. I think its got alot to do with a bad break up with my ex boyfriend and me still loving him, yet he's really happy with his pretty skinny blonde girlfriend.

I don't want to be like this I just want to go back to the old me instead of being sat here crying whilst writing this, because iv just admitted everything to strangers that I don't feel able to share with my closest friends.

Jman001 said on 06 March 2012

How can you tell if you're starting to have depression? I've read the information on the site, and whilst helpful I am still uncertain if I am starting to have a period of depression. I don't know as I don't have any overwhelming sense of sadness or feeling worthless. Rather I can see some changes in my behaviour, like a marked increase in spending time at home alone, and whilst I still go out with friends, I find it a little difficult to keep up social interactions with new people. However, there is no change in my interaction with close friends. My sleeping patterns have changed as I have can't sleep till after 3am each night, and I've started neglecting some minor household chores. I realise that the symptoms and types of depression are numerous, but are there some common signs? The ones that are listed, I don't think that I have. Anyhow thanks for any suggestions or advice.

stepbystep said on 24 February 2012

I have suffered with depression and anxiety for around 16 years on and off. Recently I have had a bad period of depression and my Psychiatrist has ignored my pleas for help. I was told off for over-sleeping even though I cannot stay awake for more than about 4 hours a day and she actually said to me 'You have a lovely husband and 2 children, what do you have to be depressed about?' At which point I actually lost it and broke down. How am I supposed to get better when the 'experts' speak to me like this?
I have begged for help and got nowhere. I am now lower than I have ever been, I've lost all my friends and family and have nothing to go on for. I'm even a burden to my Psychiatrist who's supposed to be there to help me. What a joke.

shakiirah said on 21 February 2012

i have been saffering depression since 1996 sometime i feel like i should give up.i dont seem to do right on what every i do in like. i just want someone to tell me it going to get batter.

what life if you dont know how to be happy!

mary91 said on 16 February 2012

I can relate to most of the symptoms listed above. Im 20 and for the past year ive felt like my life has come to a stand still. I find it very difficult to see my future and i've suddenly started to not care about anything. My performance at work has hugely changed. It's like i just don't care. I wake up on a morning and can't wait to go back to bed. Sometimes i just stay in bed all day til 5pm. I constantly feel exhausted and my eyes are always filled with tears. I do feel sad. Although i cannot pin point the reason for it. I think i'm depressed. I don't want to go to the doctors to get confirmed - It's a scary diagnosis.

pyschedelicgenius said on 15 February 2012

I think I definitely need to take the first step and see my GP, I have been on a rollercoaster the last 12 months. This time last year I attended a pregnancy scan with my then fiance. We had been trying for a baby for over a year suffering a few miscarriages along the way and it turned out she needed a laparoscopy. She had that and fell pregnant in December and we attended a scan as soon as the holidays were over. Anyway she came out crying and told me the baby wasn't mine and that she had been seeing someone from work for the last six months.

I just feel like nothing actually matters anymore, I can't stand my job, its nothing but stress. I have no energy to do anything anymore, some days I feel like I want to go away and hope no one notices, Ive never been emotional but I feel like crying most days. I just really don't know what to do anymore. Is this depression or am I just still not over it? My head feels like it is spinning constantly, I suffer headaches often and I just feel like I'll never move on and that its hopeless!

does it matter said on 13 January 2012

@JJ76 - Not wanting to admit you have depression is probably because of the stigma attached to it. Seeing the GP is a step in the right direction, they will be able to start the ball rolling to see some kind of therapist, which may help.

@Cara - Not everyone that has depression suffers from all the symtoms.

I've had spent 28/29 yrs battling what I have without help and I finally realised I needed help about 10 months ago, when for no reason at all I was taking a pizza out of the oven and had impulsive thoughts of suicide. I've tried several times and failed. My mood swings are horrendous. I'm currently on medication for it and I have spoken to two psychologists about it. I need to understand it more to be able to carry on fighting it. I understand to a degree how you are all suffering but I will never fully understand because I am not you. The psychiatrist that I went to see believe I maybe suffering from cyclothymia. Depression is not something that is easy to deal with and to all of you out there...go and see the GP, its important for your well being. Not talking to your partner isn't a good thing to do, if you don't try to explain whats going on then you will only drive them away from you. If your partner truely loves and cares about you then they will listen and they will try to understand. Don't do what I did and have done, it can ruin a relationship if you don't talk to each other about problems and issues. I wouldn't want to see anyone go down the same path as me.

JJ76 said on 11 January 2012

I dont want to admit that I may be depressed even tho I can tick off pretty much everything on the list. My whole life I have been considered sensible and responsible and down to earth. I am the one who listen to other peoples problems and offer advice and support. I try to be a good person and not get on other peoples nerves. I cant imagine really opening up to a friend or family member because I just cant see them really being interested in my problems. Sometimes I feel so unbearably alone. Which makes me horribly selfish because I have a lovely husband and a beautiful healthy son and I know that I should count my blessings everyday. I want to feel better for them because they deserve a happier more patient mum and a wife who doesnt turn away from the man who loves her. Like a lot of people we have some pretty severe financial worries and we both work hard but the strain can be enormous. Sometimes I feel as though I cant take a proper breath and every day I wake up with a feeling of dread expecting more demands to be made of me. I walk around with a horrible heavy stone in the pit of my stomach which I cant shake and I cant think straight. I find it hard to concentrate at work. I dont see the point of seeing my GP because how could they help with the external problems? I dont want to burden my husband becuase he is feelng enough strain himself. MY sister has suffered from severe depression for years so everyone knows what to expect frm her, its her "thing" but I just cant see anyone in my family taking me seriously and my mum has enough to worry about whilst my dad died suddenly a few years ago. I cant afford to go out with my friends like I used to. It feels as though everyone else is getting on in life except me. I know I need to pull myself together I just dont know how.

JJ76 said on 11 January 2012

I dont want to admit that I may have depression. I can tick virtually everything on the NHS list but I dont want to admit it. Like many othes on here I wake early with a sense of dread and unease. Throughout the day my moods swing dramatically and if I dont speak to anyone for a few hours I can end up on the verge of tears. I over analyse every word, every situation, every thought until I am at my wits end.
My family life is very supportive generally but I dont think my husband would understand if I said i was depressed. He is wonderful and caring but I think he would expect me to snap out of it. I dont see the point of seeing my GP because tbh they wont be able to change the enviromental pressures which make things worse like work and money worries. My sister has suffered from severe depression for years and everyone knows about it. and we all accept and love her anyway but I cant talk to my family about being depressed because its my sisters "thing." I know how much my mum worries about her and I wouldnt want to add to these worries and anyway I cant see anyone really taking me seriously I think people see me as too sensible. I want to be a better person, I want to shake it off. I dont want to carry this horrible, heavy, stone around in the pit of my stomach anymore. I think I am a bad mum because of it. it must make me selfish because it preoccupies me. My child is wonderful and healthy (thank god) and I am grateful but I think he deserves a better mum, more patient more fun and my hsband deserves a better wife who doesnt turn away from him. So how do I fix this?

olddriver said on 27 December 2011

I've only just found this site and having read some of the comments I hav to say I feel a bit of a fraud.
I haven't had any bad experiences to account for the way I feel and I have no real worries.
I do sympathise with the person that dropped the pizza, I feel like curling up in a ball most of the time.
I wake up in the morning with a horrible heavy feeling of dread and I can't wait to go back to sleep at night.
I manage to hide this most of the time but sometimes it seeps out and I end up shouting at the kids or breaking something in the house.
I daren't go to the docs in case I just get stuck on happy pills and can't work anymore, perhaps writing to you all may help?

mmiittaa said on 21 December 2011

I've been suffering from depression for years. I think it’s probably because my dad. He was diagnosed (only a year ago) to have been affected by Narcissistic personality disorder (which he refuses to accept). I lost my mother when I was very small and went thru hell with his mean and manipulative ways which I did not realize was abnormal, I always thought there was something wrong with me. On top of all that he had some problem with women in general. (my mom died when I was ten) He hated women but used them when it suited him. He always classified women as whores or goddesses. The goddesses were the self sacrificing types. Those who had a mind of their own were bad! I realize now (I’m 45) how confused I had gotten as a child about a lot of things and developed my personality to be a type of doormat to win his approval. But he always hated me and yelled and abused me and found faults with everything I tried to do, as I grew older I moved away and tried to make my life but he kept barging in and trying to disrupt it no matter how far I moved. He is a great actor and no one knows what an awful person he is and refuses to believe. My relatives call me up and say I should be nice to him as he is old; he remained a widower just to raise me. And they believe him (it’s not true he married twice after that and both women left literally ran away after just a month of being with him, but he makes it seem as if he married so I would have had someone to look after me and separated because they were bad step-mothers! This really gets him the sympathy by loads). Now he is 83 and not able to hassle me much but I’ve become a depressed person with no motivation and no self esteem. I just hate life and wish I could end it. I think being in a manipulated and depressed state for years on end really is finally getting to me. I’m married and have two kids now (I went thru very bad post natal depression and was on medication) I try to be cheerful because I can’t ruin my partner’s life.

WinterOfDiscontent said on 25 November 2011

I just wrote 2000 words of wonderfully cathartic stuff, culminating in a piece about reaching out. Thanks NHS website for managing to scupper even my plans to talk anonomously via the internet about how I feel. Is life really this empty that I'm typing my feelings?

WinterOfDiscontent said on 24 November 2011

I suppose it's a terrible cliche to say I've never done anything like this before, but it's true. Then again, I've never found myself on my kitchen floor in the foetal positon as I did earlier this evening, bawling my eyes out, having dropped a pizza on the floor. I'd spent the last of my money on buying said pizza, only to have it covered in fluff. This would normally prompt me to look in the cupboard, tonight it caused me to throw it back on the floor (on the wooden chopping board, which broke) along with a glass and a couple of bowls. Now that's surely strange behaviour?

So, having spent the majority of the past few months wishing a hole might swallow me up, I have realised that it's just not going to happen and either I allow myself to get to a point of no return, or preferably, seek help.

I know the reasons for my feeling utterly useless and yes, depressed (in the true sense of the word). It's been a year without anything good in it. Job loss, constant money worries (not helped by the local authority or job centre) and bereavement have all played their part. This has meant I haven't been able to afford to go out, I am entrenched in ostracising myself from everyone and I'm looking forward to spending the entire Christmas week alone, with very little money to buy anything for myself, let alone others. A tree's definitely out.

The irony, which I'm sure is familiar to a lot of people, is that no-one would ever know from the outside. I hold down a reasonable job (my third this year as I was made redundant and have only been able to find temp work), have lots of friends, will always be there for them and am generally regarded as a happy, outgoing person. It's exhausting.

I have no parents, one sister, no partner for the past 5 years and lots of friends that I can talk to about anything but this.

The answer? I don't know yet, but even writing this and admitting I have a problem's a start. Hello, my name's blah and I'm depressed. The final frontier.

paulaay said on 24 October 2011

I am currently 13 weeks pregnant. I have lived with depression for 6 years and have been on citralopram to treat this. However on finding out about my pregnancy my GP insisted i stop my medication. I am now have mood swings, feel low most days and sometimes dont even feel as though i want the baby. I have totally closed off from my partner and cant stand him anywhere near me most of the time, i feel like packing and leaving one day then fine the next. i had my 12 week scan and thought this would help but i felt no connection to the baby and im worried i wont love it when it arrives. Im confused as im not sure if my feeling are hormonal due to the pregnancy, depression or i just dont want the bay and my partner(ghis was a planned pregnancy) I feel trapped confuse dand dont know where to turn i feel so guilty about my feeling when so many people out there want children and cant have them.

Fightstar187 said on 24 October 2011

Since my last comment things have been better and worse, allthough i left alot of info about my depression out of my comment because of the fear of being judged, and im sorry for doing that as we are all in the same situation, i was emotionally disconnected from anything for about 5 years and then for about 2 years my emotions just exploded and i would feel everyone times 1,000,000 except happyness, i used to pick up a knife and run it on the outside of my arm just to feel the pain and watch the anger and sadness pour out of my body, my father no longer lives in my house because he decided to attack my mum and i flipped and just kept hitting him, then my life just took a massive drop and i genuanlly did not want to exsist anymore.

I blocked everything out again but i can feel it sittin in my mind waiting for 7 years of sheer anger and depression waiting to burst out.

They say you cant understand the reality of depression until your fall into the blackhole yourself.

I wouldnt say that depression can not be cured, but we can help eachother overcome our problems with advice and simple conversations.

I know i am no doctor but but if anybody would like to ask me questions feel free to do so because i would not wish anyone to be in the position i was in.

Thankyou for reading this.

Fightstar187.

Gsc1ugs said on 21 September 2011

I have read alot of the comments in this section and they very much relate to each other. I have 3 wonderfull kids but in the last 11 years I have stopped being me... The pressure of keeping house and children has took its toll and left me with a large debt i cannot repay. The stigma of not being able to fullfill lifes duties has left me with zero tolerance and a sense of hopelessness. The consequence is drepressive symptoms like all your comments and the bullet points by the NHS. I think, if we step back and said "hang on a minute..?" and see things naturally, walks, woods, trees, birds etc, i think it would not cure but help. The world and us expect too much, since my father died 2 years ago, i have said, i dont care anymore. I drink too much, i dont sleep well and have nightmares, horrible nightmares. I went to colleage got a degree git a job and after 5 years realised this wasnt for me. I now work for my self, buying, selling but its still not me. My hobbies and interests vanished when my first child was born, i dont blame my children, i blame myself for quiting everything even though costly, i ahut myself off from everything i liked to do.

We are all walking the same plank we dont want to walk on, we need to get off, suicide is not an option, it is not the answer, i have been through that mental process and it would cause more harm than good for your immediate family. I dont know the cure for depression but i know one thing, get off the plank.

Ifanc Cymru ddraig said on 24 August 2011

I have been depressed for the past few months, yet I have yet to seek any help from family or the NHS. I am about to enter my first year of college and I'm afraid it may affect my grades and indeed my future. It's only recently though that I've experienced serious suicidal thoughts, something which only one close friend has the knoledge of. They keep trying explaining it's the worst option possible and at times I agree with them and I am then prepared to get help. Yet the next day, it's as if my emotions go on a default and I feel the same as before, incredibly low and sometimes suicidal. It's a problem that has affected me for years but I have only now come to realise I have. I have had trouble sleeping for at least 8-9 months now, and along with these thoughts that have appeared in the past few weeks, I fear it may get worse, but I don't know if I'll ever get the medical attention I need because of these reccuring emotions.

kiwisop said on 03 August 2011

Wow... It really is heartbreaking to read some of these stories. It's an unfortunate consequence of modern life - the pressures, the pace, feeling completely alone in a world bursting with people.. even the pressure to be unique. It can be suffocating.

I have an unusual job at the top of my field and I should be incredibly happy. Many people only dream of working where I do... and yet... I've never been more unhappy.

I relocated to the UK from New Zealand and two years later, divorced my husband. It was a very amicable split - no property issues, no children and I felt a sense of liberation. But since then, I've gradually slipped in to a despair I don't seem to be able to shake - crying constantly, feeling worthless and inadequate, especially in terms of personal relationships. It's been two years now and I had always been so strong and confident (and appeared so to other people), that I have been in complete denial that I need help. But now, I need to make radical changes.

I want to thank you all for sharing your stories. And to Nullified - I would be interested in how your endeavour goes! I wish the best for all of you. Life is a hard road and as miraculous as it is, it's impossible to see it that way sometimes. I, too, am determined to find it again.

wreiubfaer said on 24 July 2011

I used to be on medication to control my depression,i was on it 2 years and thought i dont need it anymore,also i went for a health assessment thing and they said i was fine well a woman who dint know me from anyone said i was after 5 minutes,and now a good few years on im worse than i ever was,i had counselling but it didnt help i got told it may be my personality a disorder what ever that is,but not i feel like a shell,i cant feel for people or things like i once did,i read news papers see something i dont like and cry inside myself even tears for what i see,i carry a guilt for all the worlds people who are suffering like its my fault they are,on the other hand i get like dreams where i harm myself in many ways or others they are like day dreams,and like every one says no one understands me at all im alone and i always will be.

nullified said on 14 July 2011

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings, as it might helped me turn a new leaf in my life. It’s scary to acknowledge I’m depressed, but even scarier to tick almost all the symptoms on this list..
I used to be a single man, a fast riser, with plenty of cash and lots of “friends”. Then I started dabbing with marijuana and it’s like I lost several years of my life to a haze of smoke. I quit smoking a few months ago and literally one day I woke up and realised several years had disappeared. Even better, now I’m married, have a kid, an ever dwindling current account and a job I can’t stand?! Every day is the same: I wake up tired, travel for hours to get to a job I don’t like, feel like every positive expression comes across as fake. I’m paranoid, detached, as if looking at myself from a distance, not interested in what people say, in the world around me, or in me.. I work so hard to show such a happy, positive self that I feel exhausted on the way home.. so I travel back a couple more hours, with this blank look on my face. I sleep late again, and do the same the next day – over and over, over again.. I’m angry at myself for not quitting my job. I’m angry for not being the father I have always imagined I’d be. I’m disgusted that I’ve taken to gambling and drinking, to hide away from these feelings of inadequacy. I’m angry at myself for being a shadow of myself and not having the motivation to change. Meanwhile I see my life as if through a glass; knowing I could achieve more, but struggling to believe it. I tried talking to people, but all they say is that I should leave my job. So, I feel misunderstood, like crying and alone even when friends and family around.
“slowed movement or speech” – this made me laugh.. Now I know what happened to me, after assuming it was down to my short stint of weed smoking. Above all, now I know what to do and believe me, with a GP or not I will get myself of this rut, starting tonight. It’s 10.40pm - good night!

LostChild20 said on 26 June 2011

I have recently discovered that I have depression as I recently did a test online as I have been feeling extremely down and quite tearful for a few months. I think I know what has started me off because my dad had a mini stroke last October and my college work sort of stopped and went downhill. Although I have been trying to get my life back on track I have found it very stressful trying to catch up with my work and get the grades I need to go to Uni later on this year.

I say this to anyone who has minor depression though... you can try and sort it by writing your thoughts and feelings down in any way you want or by talking to someone about it. It's not good keeping it all bottled up as it only makes you feel worse. I bought a new journal today as I used to write in one all the time and was hardly ever depressed, so I thought that if I started writing in one again it would ease my state of mind.

Reading through the symptoms though I have found that I have most of them and it has kind of scared me to be honest. I really hate being like this as it isn't fair to my family and friends and all I want is to be my normal happy self again...

Fightstar187 said on 19 June 2011

Ok, so ive finally come to terms that there is something wrong with myself, ive lost alot of weight over the past years because somtimes i refuse to eat and dont know why, my sleeping pattern is seriously messed up, i find it hard to fall asleep before 5 o clock in morning wether i have to be up early or not, i used to self harm if something emotionally affected me just to feel something worse than what was going on in my head but i never put myself in a life thretning position, sometimes i wonder if there was a certain reason i was born but come up with no answer, my parents argue alot and my fathers answer to that is alcohol, which makes the situation worse, i have a sister i know nothing about becasue she refuses to have communication with me because of something that happend between my father and his ex-wife a long time ago, i have absolutly no memory what so ever from when i was 8 years old and before, most of the time i choose to stay indoors and stay away from social activities, but when i do go out with friends i act fine to stop people asking questions, imoften talk to myself and not release im doing it, i used to speak to a nurse in high school, just as an advice thing because of an altercation i had with a teacher and i just decided to destroy my hand on a wall, but he got me into writing letters which got me into writing songs about how i felt but i dont think that works anymore, can someone give me some advice on what i should do because i feel stuck in a place with no way out.

ThingsCanOnlyGetBetter said on 17 June 2011

My experience and solutions may be of use.

My depression, initially low mood and tiredness, started 2 years ago. I thought I had it in check by going to the gym regularly and using St John's Wort. After a year things got worse - irritability, anxiety, isolation, fatigue, lack of concentration, loss of interest etc. Then I educated myself and finally saw the GP. I was prescribed SSRI's for 6 months, Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors. Overall, the SSRIs fulfilled their purpose but the side-effects were unpleasant, they can take 4-6 weeks to start working, and can make you feel worse for a while. Then I tried 5HTP which seemed to work for mild/moderate depression and without the side-effects. There have been some clinical studies on 5HTP but more is needed.

I've had to change my whole lifestyle around. I exercise regularly to release mood-enhancing endorphins, eat a healthly diet, 6-8 hours sleep daily (no more crazy late nights), and read about CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Techniques) in 'Overcoming Depression by Paul Gilbert', recommended by NHS website.

My advice, in hindsight, is to go talk to someone asap - your partner, a close friend, a family member, and especially your GP, to get the ball rolling. Some employers have Occupational Health therapists, colleges and universities have on-site student services advisors. You shouldn't have to suffer in silence. The sooner the better. A word of warning, not everyone will understand, some people ran a mile when they found out about me, which didn't help matters. Seek a professional who is willing to listen.

There are various types of depression, various levels of depression, and various solutions to choose from. Depression is a mental illness which can potentially have serious consequences. It is mostly chemical (low serotonin levels - a brain chemical) and partly psychological (negative/positive thought process etc).

So, do yourself a favour and get checked out.

RosieTalk said on 16 June 2011

Dear anon 1234,

It sounds like you've got a lot on your plate at the moment.

If you are not coping, there are lots of people you can talk to, if your GP is not helpful. You can visit Mind for information:

www.mind.org.uk/help/information_and_advice

Try and find someone you trust to talk to, like a relative or friend that you feel comfortable with. There are people who understand, and who can help you deal with the problems you are experiencing.

You can visit www.samaritans.org.uk for advice, email jo@samaritans.co.uk or call 08457 90 90 90.

You can also visit A&E if you are feeling in despair. They will have a crisis team on hand to help you.

Rosie, NHS Choices

anon 1234 said on 16 June 2011

UNKNOWN 93 I am experiencing exactly the same problem. I've always performed well at school and university. But after feeling depressed, I just can't retain information anymore. I have been unsure about why this has been happening. But I've lost all motivation to get out of bed in the morning and constant crying outbursts. Do you have any suggestions about who to talk to if doctors or councillers aren't of assistance? I'm so sick of feeling this down all the time.

UNKNOWN93 said on 09 June 2011

the docters and the counsellar made me feel 1000times worse, and told me `i`m overexaggreting and i have no evidence this is happening`.I went to them after a long time as i realised i didnt want this to affect my finally exams, and they didnt help one bit, now im struggling so much to complete my exams, i get a lot of panic attacks at night now, get so emotional and teary, and ive had very bad memory and i cant remember any content of my exams, despite re-reading and go over content again and again. So thanks to my docter i`m seriously going to fail my exams.i wake up everyday wanting to hide away and running away from this, which normally i`m able to face upto challanges to beat them but having this has made me feel useless, stupid and i dont have any psyical strength to go throught it, but no one seems to understand . . . . i dont know what to do.

asdfsad said on 04 June 2011

To everyone, OntarioChampagne
Foxgloves
Greenlfw
martinb74

who is suffering or thinks they are suffering, I would recommend talking to a doctor, or phoning NHS direct. If you phone you don't have to give your name or postcode. Even if you feel embarrassed, in order to get better you need to remember that in my opinion you need to get help. You don't have to tell your family, friends... I think one needs techniques to help.

1/4 of the UK population suffers from mental illness at some point or other, and the majority must get through it otherwise... But I am getting support and I am better than last year but I don't want to be responsible for your actions.

I just want to post this as I don't want to worry about myself or anyone on these post thinking worse about themselves after reading the comments.

9270rach said on 30 May 2011

for the past 2-3 month i have been in a really bad mood for no aparent reason, i get very irratated n annoyed with my boyfriend for the sillyiest of things, wich usualy ends in arguments.iv also become very paranoid over him, im constantly checking his phone and stuff, although he never giving me a reason to doubt him.i have no energy n im always tierd, but probly only have 2 decent sleeps a week!..i have a 6month old son, hes no bother at al, sleeps 12hrs a nite n few naps thru the day, hes generally a verry happy baby!!..so cant understand why i feel like this!...am i depressed?

OntarioChampagne said on 21 May 2011

I tried to post a comment here yesterday but my account wasnt activated so the comment got withheld and now it's expired. I dont know if i can really repeat what i said yesterday, that was the first time i had ever told anyone that i think i have depression and i can't say all that all over again.

funny thing is, i feel much better now that i've got it off my chest, even if yesterday's comment hasnt even been posted. it was good to talk to people who know what i mean. i never thought i'd find other young ppl who are going thru this and feel exactly the same as i do. other ppl dont understand how embarrassing it is to say you're actually 'sick' because you're so 'sad'. it's such a relief to read all of your comments and realise im not alone. reading your comments also makes me see your depression from an outsider's perspective. i see hope and bright futures for all of you, and i know that it's not as bad as each of you thinks. and this makes me feel better abt my own situation

i also told my ex-boyfriend yesterday (after i left this site) abt all the weight ive lost and that im not sleeping, and he was SO supportive :-D. He didnt patronise me, blame me or tell me i was being melodramatic. I feel silly now for not telling him before. I'm not as alone as i thought, all I have to do is open my mouth.

thanks to all of you who posted here, cos you prompted me to post, and that led me to start talking abt my feelings with other ppl. It's been 24 hours and already i see a light at the end of the tunnel. if there's a light for me, there's one for all of us, cos we're all in this together arent we? ;-)

OntarioChampagne said on 20 May 2011

... and i've got committments. So many ppl rely on me, it's not even funny. I've got 3 part-time jobs and I'm a full time masters student. I have a moral and religious children's class on Sundays, I'm entrenched in administration for my Faith in my city, everyone thinks I'm so Goddam reliable and they just keep giving me things to do.

How am I supposed to take time off and say, 'look sorry, can you stop relying on me for a few months, I just broke up with my boyfriend and im so weak i actually have clinical depression'

How do I get out of this without going to a doctor or talking to anyone in my life?

OntarioChampagne said on 20 May 2011

Wow, it's been so comforting reading all these comments. I'm 22, and I'm the most practical girl you'll ever meet. My best friend had depression when her dad died 10 years ago but I never thought it would happen to me. I can't tell anyone cos I don't want them to worry about me, and I don't want them to think I'm being a wuss or overdramatic. And there's NO WAY i can go to a doctor. I'll get laughed out of town, not to mention my parents whould have to find out.

I've lost 5 kgs already and I wake up every morning at 2 am. I've never lost 5 kgs in my life, even when I diet and exercise. And soon ppl will start to notice and ask me what's wrong, in that concerned way, like I'm one of those stupid girls who can't keep her own weight on when life gets tough. I've googled causes of weight loss and depression and cancer are both on the list. To be honest, I'd rather have cancer. At least cancer is not my fault.

The only person who I could have talked to abt this was my boyfriend of five years, but I dont have him anymore cos we broke up 3 months ago. I don't feel anything. I feel distantly sad, sometimes confused, but mostly I feel blank. I come to uni and I just sit here for three hours and then go home and sit there, then go to bed and lie there, then do it again the next day. im not usually like this. People say I should pray if i'm confused or unhappy, but I don't see how that will help. And I kindof don't want God's help. I don't want anything.

I dont want to kill myself but i have had thoughts of death. Am i one step away from suicide? What do I do? Seeing a doctor is out of the question.

coco09 said on 30 April 2011

I'm 16 and i dont know if i am suffering from depression or grief. i'm too embarrased to ask my gp and i dont want to talk to my mum about it. i've had a tough few years, both my granny and granda have died, i'm a really sporty person but unfortunately i havent been able to play because of a long term injury. I find myself crying most nights and i dont know why. i also go from beening really really happy to really sad all of a sudden. i need help i've my gcses coming up next month and i can't focus at all. what do i do?

Foxgloves said on 30 April 2011

I'm 20 years old. I know i have it and have knowns for years. I'm far to embaressed and ashammed to drag any of my friends into this and don't get how seeing a doctor will to make anything better. After a recent death of a friend things have gone downhill and i just feel like theres no light at the end of the tunnle.

stratford1995 said on 24 April 2011

I think I have depression, but I dont want to tell anybody, I feel they would be disappointed in me and I'm so scared, I dont know what to do anymore, its all getting to much for me.

Ulkesh said on 03 April 2011

I find all the comments so far have meaning however I feel the truth about depression is it's personal to you, no-one else can feel how your feeling, but they can understand how you feel, so your left with the choice carry on as you are or seek help or hurt those around you, my depression has cost me my job, my wife, my children, every day is a struggle just to hold onto reality I drink to much now, I cry to much

ChezzaBoo said on 31 March 2011

greenlfw, i understand what you mean when you say you don't want to go to the doctor. i think that i may have depression but i feel that going to the doctors will confirm it. i'm not really to let people know i can't cope with everyday life - guess i have to much pride. no one else seems to suffer the way i do and i think it's all myt fault. i don't want my family and friends to find out and be disappionted or let down. i'm embassed.

Megan52 said on 25 March 2011

Reading these made me feel both better am worse- it's reasuring that people feel like I do too, but also it doesn't sound to me like this will ever go away? Seeing as some of you have been to the doctors but it hasn't really helped. I kind of assumed that going to the doctors would solve things for me?
I'm 17 and taking my a levels, I feel down constantly, and I'm trying really hard to block myself off from people. Everything about everyone annoys me, I hate how selfish and fake everyone seems to be. I can't really see the point in anything anymore, because I'm no good at anything and it doesn't feel like I'm ever going to be happy again. I feel completely numb all the time, and feel like every sort of emotion I express is forced and fake. Nothing interests me anymore and I feel disconnected from everyone. I'm so tired all the time that all I want to do all day is sleep, I've also felt sick constantly for about 8 months now. Are these signs of depression? I want to go to a doctor but I'm scared that they'll think I'm wasting their time or just being overdramatic. I also don't really want to be diagnosed in case it doesn't make a difference, people treat me differently or it exaggerates it more. Really not sure what to do, just want to be happy again.

greenlfw said on 25 March 2011

I don't really know if i have depression or not, and i feel to scared to go to the doctor because i find it really hard to talk to people, and i dont think i could physically tell someone how i feel in person. I constantly feel rubbish and like im not good enough i hate the way i look how much i weigh and i get paranoid about everything. One minute im really happy usally when im with people but then when im on my own i just feel terrible sometimes ill have an hour of feeling like i just want to die and have cut myself before but then after a period of time im fine and i think why have i done that? I dont no whats wrong with me.

NishaaaR1 said on 22 March 2011

Since December 2010, I've been having mild symptoms of stress. Now, in the last 3/4 weeks I've been experiencing mild/moderate levels of depression. I've been having insomnia, feelings of sickness on a daily-basis, several headaches everyday and changes to my menstrual cycle (every 2/3 months). I'm in my first year of College (16 years old) and I admit I'm putting too much pressure on myself, that in my mocks I just sat there and I was physically and mentally unable to write anything down on the paper at the fact that I was worried/stressed out so much. I still don't know what to do ane everyday it gets worse. The problem is also at the fact that I struggle to relax and I'm becoming very pessimistic about everything. I exercise 4 times a week for 2 hours to get my mind off of it, but it's only temporary. What do you recommend I do?

jase31 said on 03 March 2011

I have recently been diagnosed with depression by my GP.
I have been feeling really low for the last 18 months or so and it has affected my working life, my social life, my love life and my weight has increased massively.
I am just in the process of trying to shake myself out of it and have started exercising again and trying to make more of an effort to socialise but it is really tough. I just feel so lonely and worthless all the time, I dont want to tell my family as I dont want to bother them with my issues and my poor girlfriend deserves better than having to deal with my situation.
Anyway, my GP tried to get me on anti-depressants but I dont want to take any drugs.
Has anyone else got any tips on how I can try and get better? I would really appreciate any ideas and thoughts.
Thanks

chrissyk said on 27 February 2011

I'm 19 and just trying to write this is making me fill up. I think I've always suffered from seasonal depression as does my father, but since I was attacked last year it just seems to of triggered this big heavy weight on my shoulders and I just can't carry it round with me no more. Everyday I think of a way out, a way to escape all the fears and thoughts but I just cant seem to do it. I've lost my job because I could no longer face the thought of travelling on my own. I can't seem to go anywhere on my own anymore, even the thought of going to the corner shop puts me in a panic. I just don't know how to deal with it. I get so angry over nothing and its causing living at home a problem. I no longer go out with my friends unless they are driving us there and back which isn't very often at all. I cry so much, and it doesn't matter where I am I just burst out in tears. I can't talk to anyone about how I feel because they've all got their own issues to deal with. I've tried to talk to my mom about it but I always end up making it sound better than it is because I can't stand to see her know the truth. I think about ending my life several times a day but for my families sake I can't go through with it. but I feel I have nothing to live for anymore, No job, No car, No relationship, No money, No desire to get any of these either. I'd rather just stay in my bed where I know its safe, and even for that I have to take sleeping pills. Life just feels like I'm walking round in auto pilot, no feelings, just pure numbness. I would love to be happy again, for my smile not to be painted on. For my tears to be of joy and fulfilment. I just don't know where to go from here... I've tried to talk to my doctor but all he did was tell me about victim support, now that's dealt with what now? Who will listen? Who will help? I just wish I had a partner or someone to protect me :( I can't carry on like this for much longer it's killing me from the inside out.

redkite14 said on 24 February 2011

Martinb74, yes, you sound pretty depressed. Anhedonia, the inability to feel pleasure, is a classic symptom. Go see your GP. Thinking that he/she will consider you a time waster is typical depressed thinking. If the NHS didn't recognise that depression was real, and a real problem, they wouldn't have this site. Just make an appointment today, don't waste any more time thinking about it. If you don't want to do whatever he/she advises, you don't have to do it, but it's a start. You might think to yourself, 'it's not worth it, what's the point?' That's depression talking too. Given that you're alive, there are two choices: carrying on feeling rotten for the rest of your life, or doing something about it. Or not being alive, but believe me, you will screw a lot of people up for many years if you choose that option, however much you may think they'll get over it. They won't. Go see your GP and post here again with the results.

redkite14 said on 24 February 2011

martinb74 said on 21 February 2011

I don't know if I have depression? Most days I just feel empty and there never seems to be any joy in anything. I'm at the point where I never want to go out and talking to people is an effort and I avoid it if I can
I can't tell anyone as they won't understand and I'm too embarrassed to go to the doctor in case he thinks i'm a time waster. I know that I never feel happy about anything or for anyone.

pottymich said on 17 February 2011

i dont know where to turn to. i feel like sometimes i have gone crazy. i am no longer the person i used to be. i struggle with everyday lfe and it is not fair. i need to be strong but i can not. i do not want to go to the doctors and i feel i may burst i do not get out what i need to say> i have been going to th doctors and trying to tell them but i can not find the words. people need me they need me to be strong and together and i am finding it harder to mask over the sheer sadness tha is comingfrom me. i have been binge eating and have put on weight too which in turn is making it worse cause i look in the mirror and see something horrible. i wish it would go away i wish i could be myself because i enjoyed life everyday. i smiles and laughed and was happy and enerjetic and now i am a shell. a shell that continues to try and get on with it. i cant think its like my brain is mush it just doesnt want to think or work properly. i have so much going on and need to think i am learning to driveand i work and have a dad that is ill. why is life so unfair. i know i will get though it i have to but why is i this hard. i just want to be happy. i dont want t break. where will i get my strength from.

brainphrozen said on 16 February 2011

I was diagnosed with depression last July and went through Cognitive Behaviourial Therapy and found it useful although a little short as it was only a six weeks long and now I find myself in the same feelings of low self esteem and not wanting to interact with the world. What makes it worse for me is that I was assessed by an NHS nurse for disability employment allowance in November of last year who said there was nothing mentally wrong with me and that I showed no signs of rocking back and forth or sweating. This is not signs of depression it's a sign of Madness and I'm not mad. I get really bad days of low mood. Having read this I have now been told I don't qualify for disability employment allowance based on her assesment so I'm going to get professional advice prior to a tribunal. I'm very blue at the moment as I broke my wrist at christmas on the very day that apparently someone from the disability employment allowance services tried to contact me. Mmm I would have remembered if they had on that particular day. Luchana I hope things are getting better for you, don't ever give up on life.

Sadie75 said on 31 January 2011

I feel comforted by reading others' comments. For months now, I have been thinking it must be me. The worst thing is that I can't explain my depression. I just feel so low and useless all the time and can burst into tears at the slightest thing. There was no obvious trigger and I feel guilty for feeling so down when I have a wonderful family. I can't explain it to my husband because he just keeps asking what is making me unhappy and I don't think he believes that I don't know so he thinks it is to do with him. That makes me worry about the impact this will have on us in the longer term. I have no interest in anything and I know he gets so frustrated that I can't make decisions. I get so overwhelmed by the smallest thing.

I'm just about holding down work but am nowhere near as effective as I used to be and frequently find myself tripping off pathetically to the toilets for a cry. I just feel so useless. While I don't think I would ever harm myself because I couldn't do that to people who love me, I do sometimes secretly hope I might just pass away in my sleep. I am so irritable and horrible that I think people would be better off without me.

I don't think my employer has any understanding of depression so fear I would be accused of swinging the lead if anyone knew but sometimes feel that I need to tell them so that they understand some of the things I do and the way I react a bit better. Have others had experience of this, either positive or negative?

It has been good to offload some of this, even if only into cyberspace.

scotlass01 said on 19 January 2011

I'm 17 and I think I'm suffering from depression, I had a look at the symptoms & I noticed I have 19 of these symptoms should I go to the doctor?

lolafaith said on 19 January 2011

Dear luchana,
I was diagnosed with clinical depression 3 years ago (I am now 20) and I happened to come across your story. I have never replied to anyone before but your story struck me and although I cannot help you directly I hope maybe my advice, which you can choose to take or not, might do so.
Being young and having clinical depression can be very difficult because many people our age do not understand how tough it can be to function daily. But I really think you should goback to your GP. I know you said you feel anxious and scared but those are all signs of depresseion taking over. I know- I've had them too.
You may think they do not understand but they can help you. Living in the distressed state that you are at the moment will only make things worse if you do not ask for help. It is not a failing and not your fault that you feel the way you do.
You have had a very, very tough few years and deserve to give your mind and body a break. I was very against medicines and doctors and therapy but three years on I would advise anyone to do these things. It will take time but you are young and can still do everything you want to do.
I had cognitive behavioural therapy which although at times I hated was a brilliant thing to do. I think some form of talking therapy may be good for you too because you don't deserve to deal with all these problems on your own. Also you may need time to grieve about someof the things that have happened to you and sometimes in life we don't give ourselves time to just be and take time out.
Also please do not be afraid to go and get checked. Maybe try a sexual health clinic- you can look online to find your nearest one. They will be happy to help and advise and because they do that kind of thing all day long they will not judge you and then at least you can be sure you have not got something else, and even if you have, you can get it treated as many sexually related infections can be easily treated.
I hope some of this helps

luchana said on 10 January 2011

...this is a continuation of my earlier comment i am sorry , ran out of space. Still two years on after contracting herpes i cant sleep, i will get up at 8 or 9 am then not be able to sleep until 3 or 4 am i will need to cry before i sleep to be able to sleep at all. or i will wake up in the night crying from a bad dream usually about dying alone. I just feel so lonely all the time, i see all my friends happy at uni, where i dropped out because i couldnt deal with myself. i feel stuck. he has ruined my life and i can go back, why me? what have i ever done to deserve this? most night i go to sleep preying to god that he let me die inmy sleep. one night it got so bad i opened my window and considered jumping. i drift off to sleep listing all the possible painless ways i could kill myself but then i chicken out because i dont want to be selfish and hurt my family. since being diagnosed and since the abortion i havent gon back to the doctors i get very anxious. i went on a sex spree, i wanted men to pay for all the hurt they have donet to me in my life, fortunatley i saw the error in that and luckily none of them have contracted my disease. I know i should go back and get re-tested but i cant, what if through my stupidness i have caught something more. i think that is playing on my mind too at the moment. i now stay at home, i work weekends and spend the week in bed, all day. i get panicky if i go out. i am heavily overweight now and am so stuck. please, please help me i am only 19 and i dont want to go on, i want my life back. from louchana

luchana said on 10 January 2011

Please can someone help me, i think i may be depressed and its been getting worse for the last two years. I am only 19 but two years ago whilst at sixthform i lost my virginity when i was 17 to a much older man who i thought cared about me. i trusted him and was soo naieve to think it was 'cool' to loose it to an older man who cared for me. He was 45 years old, we used condoms but two weeks later i was diagnosed with genital herpes. I confronted him about it and he denied it but later confessed he had herpes on his mouth which i contracted from him when he gave me oral sex. he didnt tell me, nor did he know i was a virgin. he has ruined my life, i must have the worst luck in the world, before then i had only ever kissed a boy and so to catch a non cureable disease whilst using condoms has really changed my outlook on life. i was so happy before this, so full of life, i entered all the competitions, i was a rep i was in all the plays and doing so well with my studies. but after i lost alot of confidence. i now put on such a front like i am a different person when i am out of the confines of my room but when i am alone i feel so alone. i have since had a boyfriend who didnt care about my disease and still took chances with me, i felt happy again but i got pregnant and he forced me to have an abortion, which was devistating, i didnt want to loose possibly the only person that would love me regardless so i did it, but when i went in the clinic he left me there alone, when i came out i was alone i never saw him again. so not only have i lost everything, but i got rid of my own flesh and blood the only being that would have to love me and want me. My mum knows about my herpes she is the only one that i told but i wish i hadnt as things have changed, i know she loves me but i can see how much i have let her down, she isnt affectionate with me anymore, i dont get hugs from her nor a reply when i say goodnight i love you. now two years on i still cry myself to sleep most ..

User513416 said on 31 December 2010

I've just admitted to myself that I have depression again. I suffered a major loss several years ago that I needed counselling and medication to get through. The medication lasted 5 years and counselling 6 months. It was a bad time and I've never really gotten over it. It has shaped my 30s, I've just hit 37. I am fairly successful in my job but it was never something I wanted to do, and studying for the qualification for my profession was the one of the straws that broke the camel's back and ignited the depression in the first place. I have no friends, no girlfriend - even when I do get offers I pretend to have an interest but then find ways to avoid contact with other people - I don't know how I'm going to get out of this, I feel it's dark all around me, there's no light anywhere.

EmilyMae said on 17 December 2010

@beth95 I'm 14 i feel really similarly to you i go out with friends and get drunk with them and they all seem to enjoy it but i just wish i was at home sat in the dark alone. And i was dumped by my boyfriend last week, he took my virginity but that was our only time, he dumped me because i refused to do it again. In the past few months i've taken to cutting myself, almost to prove myself; i take the knife but then don't feel up to it but then i tell myself i'm such a failure at life that i can't even cut myself and end up doing more harm than i intended. I also pretend to be ill to stay off school because i really don't want to go, and then when i know lessons have started i feel really paranoid and think that all my friends will be enjoying spending time without me, and when i do gon in i pretend i have doctors or dentist appointments after school to avoid going out with them, then feel that they all hate me because they do stuff without me.

beth95 said on 04 December 2010

i don't know how long i've been feeling like this without realising that i might have something wrong with me. for about a year now i've been aware that i'm uhappy in myself, but i'd always thought that it was to do with my age and that everybody goes through this. i thought that it was pathetic to think that it might be someting more than that because i've never had to experience anything which would cause me to become depressed. i have a close group of friends and from the outside i think i seem fairly happy and content which is what i try to do but at the same time it scares me that i can hide it so well. i've been hoping that it will all go away but i spend a lot of time on my own and it's gradually getting worse. after reading this i realise that i have most of these symptoms which i didn't expect. i really want to tell somebody how i feel but i can't because nobody suspects a thing and as soon as i'm not alone i feel stupid for thinking that i might be depressed or feeling any different from anyone else. i often get feelings of hatred towards myself and i am constantly comparing myself to everyone else. i cry a lot and get angry when my friends tell me about their problems but again i hide how i'm feeling. i can't imagine ever telling them how awful i feel all of the time and if i've ever mentioned my low self esteem before it's been casually ignored. i dont think anyone will ever understand but i think the worst part is crying everyday and not knowing why i'm always so upset. i hate having to pretend like i'm someone else in my head just so that i can carry on being myself in front of others. i still don't see how i can be depressed, especially when i'm only 16, but i know that this isn't normal and i'm scared. i'd love to have someone to talk to about it because i hate having to lead this secretive double life and i want to stop crying.

lisanvql2 said on 19 November 2010

i never knew tht i was depressed untill i read the sypmtoms!! nd now realise i must have depression!!! i get very low for no reason cant explain y and cant get out of it, low self esteem, dont want 2 do any thing, go any where or scoialise. i feel useless, not worth the air i breathe, unloved unwanted waste of space. i must have felt like this for 6 months but for the last 2 and a half i've been thinking of ending my life beause no 1 wants or loves me!! i feel like im in this bubble no 1 can get in i cant get out! i feel trapped in my own world nd theres nothing i can do 2 get out of it!!! i feel i cant even talk 2 my partner about this!! i feel scared and worried about what he'll say, incase he leaves me so i keep everything 2 myself which doesnt help cus tht gets me even lower!!

lilyput said on 23 October 2010

ive been feeling low for a long long time, i just didnt realise i ws depressed untill i had spinal surgery and was at home a lot, i realised very quickly that something else was wrong! feelings of 2 days when im ok then the drop it feels to me like a "v" i slide down the left hand side getting more agitated as i slide, more desperate more sad then when i hit the bottom i binge eat cry and feel like nothing is worth anything any more, then i go back up the v after weeks, thats as bad as going down the "v" when i get to the top i almost shake and perspire with a sort of euphoria, wierd!.........lately ive notice all these patterns are more pronounced and have felt like" what if i took all these pills"........i find it hard to explain this to my doctor because i would break down in the surgery and i would find it hard to get a grip again, its the helpless feelings that make me panic..............ive no sex life, ive stopped all my hobbies and i hide from the world, i sit alone day after day after day, i dont want anyone here it agitates me and i get moody.........my partner works away all week and i feel like he doesnt want me anymore when he comes home, i feel unloved, unwanted and a waste of space........i didnt realise that these feelings have haunted me for years, i think that now they have just got too much to handle

scott70 said on 12 October 2010

CaraTee,

It is not unusual to have involuntary thought processes about harming another person as well as yourself in those that suffer from depression. I once heard a female GP on a BBC radio show describing her own very similar experiences and these 'morbid thought patterns' as she named them. And i know someone personally who has experienced the same thing, I'm guessing it's an extension of being less tolerant of those around you and extreme irritability but tell your friend not to worry, it's a very common symptom -as indicated in the list above

CaraTee said on 07 October 2010

I've tried explaining depression to other people, how I feel, one I pointed to this site, it's a very good explanation. Although I've never seen the 'or thoughts of harming someone else' before. Though I've not experienced that myself, how common is that? It's worried my friend!!! I thought it was generally turning on yourself. I'd be interested to hear what other people feel about that.