Bipolar disorder - Rod's story

'I believed that I was the archangel Gabriel'

Bipolar disorder: Rod's story

Rod talks about being diagnosed with bipolar disorder, the treatments offered to him and how he copes with the condition.

Rod was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1987. He describes how his symptoms got worse and led to his diagnosis, the treatments offered to him and how he copes today.

Last reviewed: 29/02/2012

Next review due: 28/02/2014

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8 Comments about ‘Rod's story’

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User525088 said on 03 February 2011

I am just starting to come to the terms with the fact that there is a possibility I could be bipolar, I was diagnosed with post-natal depression nine months after my sons birth when I was 18 however now when I think about it I have suffered mood swings and anxiety since I started secondary school but it was blamed on being hormonal or growing up but I always felt that my friends were more "normal" however over the last 12 years I have been on and off of anti depressants as I have taken myself off them when I feel like I can fight the world, I always thought it was my anti depressants working, now I am worried that it was more of a manic episode, when manic I talk without breathing binge drink which has caused me a great deal of other issues, exercise religiously daily and feel so focused like I have finally cracked life! however when down I can bearly get out of bed the guilt and the shame is crippling I am recovering from one now, as I was admitted to hospital the other night after an overdose, whats brought me to the conclusion i could be bipolar is looking at how it is diagnosed, the physcriatric doc asked me all those question, is that normal? I am in thousands of pounds of debt from years ago, I have had a drink drug problem, and now back in education, but then I get stressed as my concentration can be scare and I get flustered and distracted, I have lost over 5 stone in the last 2 years as not only have my moods flatuated so have my habits i used to binge eat not i seldom can eat it has effected my relationships over the years to now I think how lucky I am to still have the same good friends for other 25 years and supportive family I am scared if I am a told I am bipolar and what my life will be like? but in a way it will also be a relief as it would explain so much

catwoman52 said on 08 September 2010

Today i have admitted to myself again, that i have bi polar,i know i do,i am up and down all the time , i contemplate death every minute of every day,my partnes says i have been showing signs for a while now, in th epast i have had bouts od depression, alaways around this time of year- i hate the onset of winter, my mum was the same aswell,i ahve had a very tough life, i was abused mentally and psychologically,by my father and his family, i ahve had alot of counselling in the past,just lately i have been manic with moods up and down , one minute i am screaming and swearing, the next i am ay the gym pushing myself so hard 4 -5 times a week, also i thow tantums big style swearing and saying horrid things to those who love me,, i can`t sit still , i don`t sleep i have nightmares . i will be dancing around the room , then i can come crashing down,i turn my i pod up so loud to drown out everything around me,i drink alacohol till i pass out, i take huge ammounts of pain relief to make things go numb, i want to be asleep all the time, i twist things that people say to me , i hear it all different,, i think they don`t like me, i am jumpy for no reason,, i want to die all the time, can someone help me ,?

KimberleySA said on 18 August 2010

I am now 49 and my first episode was when I was 19. My last episode was 14 years ago when I was hospitalised. My father convinced the consultant I should be on Lithium as well as Carbamazapine. Amazingly I have not had an episode since. I honestly believe I have played a bit part in not being unwell. All you seem to hear is keep on taking the tablets which of course I wouldn't dream of stopping! I would not like to relive all the admissions I have had. Some of them have bad memories ie being held down on the floor by 4 staff and injected, being put in seclusion, sectioned and made to take drugs which either made you want to hide away or hyperactive. Unfortunately for my two children they have had to go through it as well as me. I often feel guilty even now but cannot turn the clocks back. The question is I ask myself am I bipolar as there has been such a long gap since I was last hospitalised. Or was it just all the stress I was under?

confused233 said on 26 May 2010

when i had my son 4 years ago i had post natal depression,but am not sure if thats what it was.since then i have gone from feeling like i dont want to leave my house and feel so down i just want to sleep all day,this can last for a few weeks then i wake up one day and want do do everything and feel as if i can.i snap at my partner,and sometimes find myself trying to find something to have a go at him about.over the last 6 months it seems to be worse so when i am down i dont feel i can cope with anything and other days feel i could take on the world.i tried to go and see my gp last week,but before i could really go into detail about how i was feeling,she gave me a weeks sick line for stress,and felt she just wanted me to go away.i left feeling that i had just wasted her time,so dont know if i should go back to see another doctor or if they will be the same.at the moment i am in a very down mood i am so tired but cant sleep as my brain just wont seem to switch off.very confused about what to do,feel like i am going mad

bettyrose said on 17 April 2010

I'm just coming to the end of one of many counselling stints over the last 20 years for something specific that happened in my past. My counsellor has said she would like to write to my GP as she thinks I may have bipolar disorder. I said I've felt fobbed off by doctors in the past - they just keep putting me on anti-depressants which make me sleepy (and sweaty!) as I seem to have more lows than highs. but when I'm 'high', I do talk a lot, am enthusiastic about EVERYTHING, lie awake at night, spend money I don't have and have done the traffic light thing lots of times. I don't know what to expect from mydoctor but find my mood swings so tiring, would love to get a straight answer and some help as its affecting my relationship very badly and I can't keep a job easily either. Don't know what else to say at the moment. Hope anyone who feels like this gets help too:)

singlewillow said on 09 April 2010

After watching this and speaking to a friend of my who l trust totally, and also reading the symptoms related to bi-polar, l have pretty much all of the symptoms, and when l saw Rods story about in your head thinking you can change traffic lights, l have done this for years, and also when sitting in my car, if l want to go somewhere l think the one in front will go the other way, and when they do l get a really good high that l got them to go in a different way. lts like someone has opened my curtains and l can actually see things now. Recently l have been on a rollercoaster ride of crying buckets they so happy, its messing my head up big time but dont know where or who l need to see about it, l am having councilling soon to help with my past, and this also is putting stress on me bringing on most awful lows of tears and wanting to die and thinking of ways to do it. Any help would be great, as l am at a loss as to what to do now.

mr bigfish said on 02 March 2010

Real stories!!!!!!!!!!!!
real storie for me is i cant get help of any gp. and they ref me to shrink but that takes 3 mounths just to get new meds and i have Bipolar disorder 1. for the last 8 years i might stick plum in my mouth next trip to gp then i might get same as him.but the real storie is your up for big fight to get seen by shrink if you live in wales

mallileanne said on 16 February 2010

ive got to say ive just watched this and this is how i am mostly evey day im like a yo-yo never know who i am extremly happy then completly depressed on a really bad note never want to be here.... i shouldnt be thinking like this i have the most amazing little angel my daughter if she wasnt here i dont think i would be. people look at me crazy coz i just all of a sudden start to sing and dance coz i feel so happy and i do which makes a lot of people stare but this is the thing when im relly happy and high nothing bothers me but when im really depressed which just hits me like a tone of bricks and out of no where i start to feel really worthless and guilty half the time i ant got a clue why i get really irratable never sit still never want to sleep and talk fast ive spent so much money on others which really makes me happy but im in a big mess with money the thing is im trying to get my head around al this coz im 22 and felt lke this most my life its only since my councilor suggested i might have bipolar thats made me look int to the effects of the disorder i hope this clip is as helpful as it has been for me sorry to ramble

Bipolar disorder - Rod's story

'I believed that I was the archangel Gabriel'